Carnage

Alan Cowan:
[to Penelope] I saw your friend Jane Fonda on TV the other day. Made me want to run out and buy a Ku Klux Klan poster.

Alan Cowan:
Morally you're supposed to overcome your impulses, but there are times you don't want to overcome them.

Penelope Longstreet:
[to Alan] Don't you tell me about Africa. I know all about suffering in Africa!

Nancy Cowan:
[reaching for the scotch bottle] Let's get out of here, Alan. These people are monsters.

Alan Cowan:
Stop it, Nancy.

Nancy Cowan:
No, no, no. I want to drink some more. I- I wanna get drunk off my ass! This- this b*tch throws my bag against the ceiling, nobody lifts a finger. I wanna be blind drunk.

Alan Cowan:
You're drunk enough.

Nancy Cowan:
How can you let her call our son a criminal? We come over here to work things out with them and they, they insult us, they browbeat us, they lecture us about being good citizens of the world! I am glad our son kicked the sh*t out of your son and I wipe my ass with your human rights!

Michael Longstreet:
Wow! Get a couple of drinks in her and BAM!, her true self comes out.

Michael Longstreet:
What happened to your sense of humor?

Penelope Longstreet:
I don't have a sense of humor and I don't want one!

Alan Cowan:
Penelope, I believe in the god of carnage. The god whose rule's been unchallenged since time immemorial.

Nancy Cowan:
I've got a John Wayne idea of manhood, too. What is it he had? A Colt .45. Something that empties a room. Any man that doesn't have those loner vibes just doesn't come off as having any substance.

[last lines]

Nancy Cowan:
Here! Here's what I think of your stupid tulips! Your hideous flowers! This is the worst day of my life too.

Nancy Cowan:
At least our kid isn't a little wimpy-ass f*ggot!

Penelope Longstreet:
Yours is a F***ING SNITCH!

Michael Longstreet:
You're so wonderful. You're the best and the brightest!

Alan Cowan:
Mrs. Longstreet, our son is a maniac!

Alan Cowan:
Did you schedule a contingency for litigation?

Alan Cowan:
Nancy, it's absurd to drink in your condition.

Nancy Cowan:
What condition?

Nancy Cowan:
Look at him all hunched over like he was left on the side of the road.

Penelope Longstreet:
My husband has spent the entire afternoon DRYING THINGS!

Alan Cowan:
Keep on stroking your own ego. It's beautiful.