Carry On Cleo

Julius Caesar:
Infamy, infamy. They've all got in for me.

Soothsayer:
I will see whether the goddess will grant us a further vision. Oh Isis, sweet Isis...

Hengist Pod:
They're lovely. I'm very sorry sir, it's an old saying we have back in Britain.

Julius Caesar:
Friends, Romans...

Julius Caesar:
I know!

Julius Caesar:
I've cleaned up this city. Have you forgotten my slogan? 'Nihil expectore in omnibus' - no spitting on the public transport.

Hengist Pod:
My name's Pod. Hengist Post, this is my wife Senna.

Horsa:
Oh, that's a pretty...

Hengist Pod:
Pretty what?

Horsa:
Er... pretty name.

Senna Pod:
It was, 'til I married somebody called "Pod".

Mark Antony:
All right, look here Marcus...

Spencius:
No, no, I'm Spencius. 'S my brother what's Marcus. We're in partnership now, you know. Marcus & Spencius.

Mark Antony:
Look at them. All solid bone and muscle.

Spencius:
Bone and muscle I've got plenty of. It's brains what people want nowadays.

Mark Antony:
They've got brains. Artisans, every one of them. Here you, what did you do in Britain?

Hengist Pod:
I was a wheelmaker.

Mark Antony:
See that? He makes wheels.

Hengist Pod:
Square ones.

Mark Antony:
Square... Never mind. Here, you. What did you do?

Horsa:
I was a hunter.

Spencius:
A hunter?

Mark Antony:
A hunter! Now, what about that then? A hunter. What did you hunt?

Horsa:
Romans.

Hengist Pod:
I think someone's making a convenience of you!

Hengist Pod:
I hope they'e a nice family!

Horsa:
Eh, Hengist, what he means is that you will be thrown to the lions, in the arena

Hengist Pod:
oh, THOSE lions! Yahhh!

Horsa:
Don't worry. Head in the mouth, quick snap of the jaws and it'll all be over!

Hengist Pod:
Yes, but how am I going to get his head into my mouth?