Catch .44

[first lines]

Mel:
It's sad, isn't it? I've been working with you seven years. Seven years. I always liked you. I Always looked after you. But I never trusted you.

Tes:
Most women apply secret number two to one thing, sex. The rest of the time we're too real. Too real because it's in our nature to be real, which ultimately is a woman's downfall. But faking it keeps you living in man's land.

Kara:
Whoa! Who the f*** wants to live in man's land?

Tes:
We're already living in it, guys.

Kara:
All right, wait wait, let me ask you a question then. Would you be faking it if you compromise? 'Cause you can't fake compromise.

Tes:
You half can.

Kara:
What the f*** does that mean?

Tes:
Compromise is half faking. 'Cause if you weren't compromising half you would have it all. In which case you wouldn't be faking, you would be taking. For example, guys compromise when they leave the toilet seat down. They do it because they know they can't win. And I'm not faking it 'cause I don't pretend not to mind when they do leave the toilet seat up - because I do.

Kara:
Slow it down. How is that a compromise on your end?

Dawn:
Yeah, and I thought you said wde *should* fake it.

Tes:
It's a compromise because I'd fake other things to get my way. Or I'd take away the p*ssy.

Kara:
What are you even talking about? I think you're confusing yourself.

Tes:
No no, I think it's just too complicated for you to understand.

Kara:
No, it's not at all. I get what you're saying. I just don't agree with you. To me compromising is not faking.

Tes:
[sighs] Fine. Then we'll just agree to disagree.

Kara:
Or we can agree that I'm right because that's a compromise.

Tes:
Tell you what: I'll fake it and we can agree on that.

Kara:
But you're compromising to agree on faking it. I can explain it to you if it's too complicated.