Chicken Little

[first lines]

Buck Cluck:
[voice over] Now, where to begin? [shaft of light and pixie dust] How about "Once upon a time…"? [screen suddenly goes black] How many times have you heard that to begin a story? Let's do something else. [gasps] I got it. I got it. Here we go. Here's how to open a movie. [opening to The Lion King] No, I don't think so. It sounds familiar, doesn't it to you? [a storybook] Oh, no, no. Not the book! How many have seen "opening the book" before? Close the book. We're not doing that. Here's what we're gonna do. Why don't I just go back to the day things took a turn for the worst?

Mr. Woolensworth:
Abby Mallard.

Foxy Loxy:
[fake cough] Ugly Duckling!

[All the students laugh]

Mr. Woolensworth:
Class, I will not tolerate rude behavior at the expense of a fellow...

Abby Mallard:
Hey, hey, hey. No worries, Mr. Woolensworth.

Mr. Woolensworth:
Yaah! [Abby honks] You mustn't sneak up on me, Ugly– Er, Abby. Now, where was I?

Foxy:
[fake cough] Ugly Duckling!

Mr. Woolensworth:
Yes, of course. Thank you.

[Abby drums on her desk and blows a raspberry]

Mr. Wookensworth:
Chicken Little.

[Chicken Little's desk is empty]

Foxy:
[fake cough] Tardy again!

Mr. Woolensworth:
Tardy again. [crosses Chicken Little's name off] Class, turn to page 62 and translate each word in mutton. He.

Students:
Baa!

Mr. Woolensworth:
She.

Students:
Baa!

Mr. Woolensworth:
They.

Students:
Baa!

Mr. Woolensworth:
We.

Students:
Baa!

Abby:
Calm down, Runt! Just... Just do what Fish is doing.

[C & C Music Factory:
Gonna Make You Sweat]

C & C Music Factory:
Everybody dance now.

Abby:
Tough morning?

Chicken Little:
I had a run in with my old nemesis.

Abby:
Gum on the crosswalk?

Chicken Little:
He won this round.

Abby:
Your old foe.

Chicken Little:
Mmm-hmm.

[during a timeout at gym class]

Abby:
Look, you thought the sky was falling. Your dad didn't support you, and you have been hurting inside ever since.

Chicken Little:
Yeah, but...

Abby:
It's hurt. It's the nutshell.

Chicken Little:
Well, it's hurt, but...

Abby:
No, bup bup! Bup! Now what needs to happen now is the nut needs to be cracked open, and not one little chip at a time, but bam! Bits of emotion flying everywhere! Anger! Frustration! Denial! Fear! Deep depression, in fact! You see what I'm saying?

[pause]

Runt of the Litter:
Uh...

Abby:
Alright, forget the nut thing. Here's the main thing. You have got to stop messing around and deal with the problem. Here's the real solution: You, your dad, talk-talk-talking, closure.

Chicken Little:
Closure?

Abby:
Closure. Talking about something until it's resolved. Wait. Look. [pulls out some magazines from her backpack] There's a whole section about in this month's Modern Mallard. Incredibly appropriate! Whew!

Chicken Little:
I told you, I have a plan.

Abby:
Yeah, but according to Cosmo Duck, you should stop the squawk and try the talk. And Beautiful Ducking says avoiding closure with your parents can cause early molting. See? Closure.

[as Abby and Chicken Little are talking, Fish Out of Water is building a tower out of Abby's magazines]

Abby:
Just repeat after me. You, your dad, talk-talk...

Chicken Little:
Abby, Abby, Abby! Listen, alking's a waste of time. I got to do something great so my dad doesn't think I'm such a loser.

Abby:
Come on, you're not a loser. You're inventive and resourceful and funny and cute...

Chicken Little:
What?

Abby:
Oh, you... [chuckles nervously] Um... [smiling broadly] Runt, should Chicken Little have a good talk with his dad and clean the air... [winks then frowns] ...Or keep searching for Band-Aid solutions and never deal with the problem?

Runt:
Pfft! Band-Aid solutions!

Abby:
Runt!

Runt:
Well, I'm sorry! I'm very bad at reading facial cues.

Runt:
'Twas Beauty that killed the Beast.

Buck Cluck:
Some teenagers, you know, they get quite a rush from stamp-collecting! You wanna stop? We'll get some stamps...

Chicken Little:
No, I don't like stamps.

Dog Announcer:
This excitement isn't just about the fun of baseball. It's not about the prize. It's about the gloating and rubbing their noses in it. The "Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah, we beat you" taunting if you will, that comes with the winning.

Chicken Little:
Today is a new day.

Coach:
[slow-motion] Don't swing!

[Wannabe]

Abby:
Uh-huh.

Runt:
Uh-huh.

Abby:
Yo, tell you what I want What you really really want.

Runt:
So, tell me what you want what you really want.

Abby:
I'll tell you what I want what I really really want.

Runt:
So, tell me what you want what you really really want.

Abby:
I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ah.

Both:
[singing] If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.

Abby:
[singing] Gotta get my friends.

Both:
[singing] Make it last forever, friendship never ends. If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give.

Abby:
[singing] Taking is too easy. [telephone ringing] But that's the way it is. Hello!

Runt:
[singing] I'll tell you what you want.

Abby:
Runt, quiet! I'm on the phone!

Runt:
[singing] I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really.

Abby:
Runt! Oh...

[clapping, gurgling]

Abby:
Hey! Where are you? We already started. We were jus...

Chicken Little:
It opened up!

Abby Mallard:
What?!

Abby:
Okay. Lemme guess. You haven't told your dad yet.

Chicken Little:
Well...

Abby:
I knew it! Why haven't you told him? There hasn't been you, your dad, talk-talk-talking.

Chicken Little:
There was talking. There was... There was definitely talking.

Abby:
Oh, really? What did he say? [Chicken Little only making stammering things] What? Alright, that's it! We are doing an intervention! You have got to stop messing around and deal with the problem!

Runt:
She's right!

Chicken Little:
Abby, please. This is exactly what fell on me the first time. There's no way I'm bringing this up again with him.

Runt:
No, he's not!

Abby:
Runt!

Runt:
Sorry! I'm a gutless flip-flopper.

Abby:
Okay. I'm sure there's a simple, logical explanation. I mean, it could be a piece of weather balloon, or maybe it's part of some experimental communications satellite.

Chicken Little:
I don't care what it is. I want it out of my life, gone for good. Everything back to normal.

Abby:
Hey, remember when that icy blue stuff fell from the sky? Everybody thought it was from space and stuff? And it just turned out to be frozen pee from a jet airplane.

Runt:
Yeah, that's right. It's frozen pee. Yeah. It's frozen pee. [singing] Pee, pee, pee, pee pee.

Chicken Little:
Could you stop saying that?

Runt:
What, pee?

Chicken Little:
Pee.

Abby:
How 'bout Tinkle

Runt:
Piddle?

Abby:
Whiz? [Fish gurgles]

Runt:
Wee-wee?

Chicken Little:
Okay, subject change.

Runt:
Make Phishee?

Chicken Little:
I don't care what it is! Now are you gonna help me get rid of it or not?

Chicken Little:
Fish?

Abby:
Fish!

Chicken Little:
Fish…

Abby:
Fish…

Runt:
[shouts] WHERE ARE YOU, FISH?!

Dog:
Now, let's check the weather with Riz. A cold front is moving in so... The alarm bell has been activated! Quick! Get a camera crew!

Mama Runt:
Runt, that's enough! Don't make Mommy take away your Streisand collection!

Runt:
Mom, you leave Barbra out of this!

Dog:
Why can't you keep that child of yours under control?

Chicken Little:
I'm telling you the truth. Dad! Dad, I'm not making this up. You gotta believe me this time.

[pauses]

Buck:
No, son. I don't.

Mayor Turkey Lurkey:
[to an alien robot] Oh, we surrender! Here, take the key to the city! [alien bot zaps the key; holds up another key] Key to my car? [robot zaps key and car at the same time; holds a box of Tic Tacs] Tic Tac? [bot zaps Lurkey]

Chicken Little:
(gasps) Forget Plan A!

Chicken Little:
[to Abby] By the way, I'd like to say I've always found you extremely attractive. [he kisses Abby]

Abby:
Now that's closure.

Buck:
What, what? You have to go to the bathroom? [Alien kid shakes head] You want juice? [kid shakes head again] A snack? [kid shakes head again] Corndog? On a stick? [Kirby starts to lose temper] Want to play some golf? What do you want?

Kirby:
[makes irritated noises]

Buck:
I stink at this...

Big Male Voice:
Why did you take our child?

Buck:
Hey, hey! Just... [gulps] Just hold on there, buddy! My son did not take your kid! You were the one that left him behind! That's bad parenting, and I should know!

Big Male Voice:
Silence, silence, silence, silence! Release the child!

Buck:
Okay.

Chicken Little:
Okay, okay.

[sputtering]

Female Alien:
Sweetheart! Oh, Kirby, I'm so happy to see you! My darling!

Buck:
[sighs] That was close.

Chicken Little:
At least they're back together. They got their kid.

Big Male Voice:
You have violated intergalatic law 90210 - a charge punishable by immediate particle disintergration!

Buck:
[while being aimed at with particle disintegration alongside Chicken Little] Oh, snap.

Ace:
Are you ready to rock?

Hollywood Runt:
Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low.

Dog Announcer:
Hold your horses, here! And horses, hold your breath.

Ace:
[to Hollywood Runt shooting alien spaceships] Give them a taste of the other white meat!

Mayor Lurkey:
[stops a crowd] Oh, look, a penny.

Buck:
You gotta be ready to listen to your children, even if they have nothing to say.

Dog Announcer:
Ladies and gentlemen, it's just gibberish. Gibberish of an insane person.

Dog Announcer:
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it; I've seen road kill with faster reflexes.

Chicken Little:
There's... there's... it's a... you have to... D'oh... Doo-wah!

Mountain Lion:
What did he say?

Mayor Lurkey:
[reading a sign-holding dog's signs] "There's... there's... it's a... you have to... D'oh! Doo-wah!"

[singing "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" by Elton John and Kiki Dee]

Chicken Little:
Run for your lives! Everyone run for cover! SOS! Mayday, mayday! Code red! Duck and cover! You're all in danger!

[babies crying]

[grunting]

Chicken Little:
Run for cover!

[steer bellows]

Chicken Little:
Run for your lives!

[squealing]

[ringing]

[siren wails]

Chicken Little:
Emergency, emergency!

[screaming]

Both:
Whoa!

All:
Aaah!

[babies crying]

Chicken Little:
Run for your lives!

Chorus:
Look out! Take cover!

[Raiders of the Lost Ark theme]

[car horns honking]

[screaming]

Chicken Little:
Run for cover!

Dog:
[coughs] Chicken Little, what is it? What's going on?

Chicken Little:
The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

Bunny:
The sky is falling?

Cheetah:
Are you crazy?

Abby:
Men.

Runt:
'Twas Beauty that killed the Beast.

Abby:
I guess only girls are good at honest communication and sensitivity.

Chicken Little:
That does it! We were in a time-out Foxy! Prepare to hurt. And I don't mean emotionally, like I do.

Fetchit:
Not showing up for class, inappropriate school attire, picking fights in gym class, and that fire alarm? Ever since that sky falling incident, he's been nothing but trouble! Now, look, Buck. You know I have the utmost respect for you. I mean you were Buck "Ace" Cluck, our school baseball star! [sighs] But let's face the facts. Your kid, he's nothing like you at all.

Buck:
[clears throat] OK. Thank you for talking to me. I'll take care of my son.

Chicken Little:
Dad, it wasn't my fault. It was Foxy. She's always...

Buck:
That's all right. It's fine. You don't have to explain anything.

Coach:
Okay, kid. Listen up. You have an itty-bitty, teeny-tiny strike zone. There's no way he can throw you out! Just take the walk and don't swing.

Chicken Little:
Yeah. But, coach. I have a good feeling about...

Coach:
Look. Look at me, look at me. Don't swing, take the walk, you hear me? Just take the walk.

Chicken Little:
But, coach! Wait!

Coach:
Don't swing!

Abby:
If there ever was a time to talk to your dad... it's now.

Chicken Little:
It's too late for that.

Runt:
It's too late, baby, now it's too late. [sobbing] Though they really did try to make it.

Abby:
Runt. Just think about it.

Runt:
Something inside has died and they just can't hide and they just can't fake it. Oh, no, no.

Chicken Little:
Runt, I really just want to be alone right now. Oh! Abby Runt! Fish! Look! There! Look there! Look there!

Runt:
What is that thing?!

Chicken Little:
His name is Kirby?

Abby:
They left him behind?

Runt:
Darth Vader's Luke's father?

Chicken Little:
No, don't. Come on, come on, don’t cry, don’t cry. We're here for you.

Buck:
Son! There you are. Quick! Get in the car. We gotta go.

Chicken Little:
No, wait. Dad, I gotta tell you something.

Buck:
What? I know! I know! You were right! Alien invasion. I see that now. Look up! There it is!

Chicken Little:
Dad, you know, about that... It's actually just a rescue mission.

Buck:
Rescue mission?

Chicken Little:
You see, this alien kid was left and they're coming back to get him! So, we have to help him, 'cause if we don't, who else will?

Buck:
What?

Chicken Little:
Ugh! Forget it. You wouldn't believe me anyway.

Buck:
Son! Son, come back! Son! Chicken Little!

Abby:
Mr. Cluck, wait! He's telling the truth!

Runt:
He is! Given his track record, we understand why you don't believe him!

Chicken Little:
Runt, just do it. It'll work. We'll survive!

[intro to "I Will Survive" plays]

Runt:
I will survive? Brake, Abby!

Alien Cop:
Okay, everything's been put back to normal, except for this one over here.::

Foxy Loxy:
[dressed in a pink dress and curls] Hi, y'all.

[Everyone else gasps]

Chicken Little:
Foxy?

Foxy Loxy:
[singing in a girly manner] Lollipop, lollipop / Oh, lolli, lolli, lolli, lollipop...

Alien Cop:
She got her brainwaves a little scrambled during reconstitution, but, no worries! We can put her back the way she was.

Runt:
No! She's perfect. [joins Foxy] Lollipop.

[popping sound]

Both:
Lollipop.

Alien Cop:
Scary.

Chicken Little:
SOS! Mayday! Mayday! Code red! Duck and cover!

Chicken Little:
You're all in danger!

Chicken Little:
Emergency! Emergency!