Chris Rock: Never Scared

Chris Rock:
Women ain't gonna let a thing like sense f*** up they arguement.

Chris Rock:
Women HATE women. You get any two girlfriends in this room, been girlfriends for 25 years, you put a man in between them, "F*** that b*tch, " "F*** that b*tch." Guys are not like that. Guys actually think that there are other fish in the sea, and if a guy introduces his boy to his new girlfriend, and when they walk away, his boy goes, "Aww man, shes nice, I gotta get me a girl LIKE that." If a woman introduces her new man to here girlfriend, and they walk away, her girlfriend goes "I gotta get HIM, and I will slit that b*tches throat to do it." Every girl in here got a girlfriend they don't trust around their man.

Chris Rock:
The government hates rap man. And only rappers get gun down like this. I'll tell you right now if Billy Joel, Elton John and David Bowie got shot they'd have Bruce Sprigsteen's house surrounded.

Chris Rock:
You can't just whip out a 40 year old titty that's your man's titty. That is your man's titty 40 year old titty your man's titty. 20 year old titty community titty. That's for all to see.

Chris Rock:
The number one reason people hate America, the number one reason is because of our religion. Americans worship money, we worship money. Seperate God from school, seperate God from work, seperate God from government but on your money it says in God we trust. All my life I've been looking for God and He's right in my pocket. Americans worship money, and we all go to the same church the church of ATM, everywhere you look there's a new branch popping up... remind you about how much money you got and how much money you don't got. And if you got less than twenty dollars the machine won't even talk to you. The machine is like you better go see a teller. You ever go to a teller and try to take out eight dollars and fifty cents? Oh it's disgusting... oh man you gotta wait on that long ass line, people doing real transactions in front of you, you get on to the f***ing front you fill out your form eight fifty. The f***ing teller looks at it she look at you she looks at the check she don't even take the money out of the drawer she take it out of her pocket, "here you go get out of here." And here's something man drugs are illegal but ATM machines are open twenty four hours a day. Twenty four hours a day. For who? Who the f*** is it open for? Have you ever taken out three hundred dollars at four o'clock in the morning for something positive. Sh*t when you press that machine at four o'clock in the morning I think a psychiatrist should pop up on the screen an go "c'mon man, save your money man. Don't buy drugs buy some rims. They spinning n*gger they spinning they spinning n*gger they spinning." Americans worship money. Sh*t you know why banks are closed on Sunday? Cos if they wasn't church would be empty.

Chris Rock:
Janet done lost her damn mind, whipping out a titty on a Sunday afternoon. A titty on a Sunday afternoon! 40 year old titty? Your man's titty! 20 year old titty? Community titty!

Chris Rock:
Titties and tater tots don't mix!

Chris Rock:
White people sell guns, that's all right. Black rapper *says*, "Guns," congressional hearing!

Chris Rock:
That tiger ain't go crazy; that tiger went tiger! You know when he was really crazy? When he was riding around on a unicycle with a Hitler helmet on!