Clubhouse

Lynne Young:
What do I have to do to get through to you?

Betsy Young:
I don't know mom, send me an e-mail.

[Pete stands in front of a mirror to tuck in his jersey. He stares at himself for a little while until one of the baseball players comes up and says... ]

baseball player:
This is baseball, not a fashion show.

Betsy Young:
This is all your fault you underwear labeler!

Peter 'Pete' Young:
You know what Betsy? Why don't you get a nice, tall glass of Shut Your Mouth.

Betsy Young:
Why don't you grab a spoon so you can eat my...

Lou Russo:
You get some action from your girlfriend?

Peter 'Pete' Young:
I'm not sure she's my girlfriend anymore.

Lou Russo:
Then I suppose you're free this weekend... that's good, because I'm going to need you to work.

Peter 'Pete' Young:
I thought the team was in L.A. this weekend.

Lou Russo:
That's right, so pack your sunscreen.

Lou Russo:
[about the players] Bunch of nancy boys, probably use the money for online shoe shopping.

Jose Marquez:
[Jose walks by and sees Pete and another bat boy sitting on the floor doing a task] Get a room ladies!

Pete Young:
Who are you?

Jose Marquez:
[Pete stands up and Jose gets in his face] I'm head bat boy! This is how it works. You guys get in my way, I'll hit you. My name is Jose. If I ever hear you say 'No way Jose', I'll hit you.

Rich:
Hi. My name's Rich.

Jose Marquez:
That's for your Momma! Here you're Scrub One. [Looks at Pete] You're Scrub Two.

Rich:
I've never had a nickname! This is great. You know, I almost didn't get this job on account of my uncle is the GM.

Jose Marquez:
Hey I don't care who your uncle is. I'll still hit you. Now get dressed! I want to see you on the field in five minutes. Let's go scrubs! Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go!