Comic Relief: Doctor Who - The Curse of Fatal Death

Daleks:
We will explain later!

The 9th Doctor:
I have grown weary of all the evil in the cosmos. All the cruelty, all the suffering, all those endless gravel quarries.

The 9th Doctor:
Without even knowing I was looking, I have found a woman I love. A woman more fascinating than all my travels through time and space. A girl more exciting than an escape up a ventilation shaft. A lover more thrilling than an army of cybernetic slugs.

[they kiss passionately]

The (Quite Handsome) 10th Doctor:
And, uh, you're my fianc?e?

Emma, The Assistant:
So you remember me then?

The (Quite Handsome) 10th Doctor:
How could I possibly forget the only time-traveling companion I've ever had?

Emma, The Assistant:
You've had lots of companions.

The (Quite Handsome) 10th Doctor:
The only time-traveling companion I've ever... had.

The 12th Doctor:
Look after the universe for me; I've put a lot of work into it.

The 13th Doctor:
Emma! Look! I've got etheric beam locators!

[to a Dalek, as the Master has fallen into the sewers AGAIN]

The 9th Doctor:
Don't worry, I believe he knows the way out.

The 17th Master:
Say hello to the Spikes of Doom!

[the wall behind the Doctor and Emma turns around. When it turns back they are sitting on a couch]

The 9th Doctor:
Say hello to the Sofa of Reasonable Comfort.

[the Master has emerged from the sewers accompanied by Daleks]

The 17th Master:
Observe, Doctor. I am no longer merely a Time Lord. My body has been augmented by superior Dalek technology!

[he pulls of his right hand and reveals that it has been replaced by a Dalek suction cup]

Emma, The Assistant:
So what can you do with that, then?

The 17th Master:
[realises he doesn't know] What?

Emma, The Assistant:
You don't know, do you?