Corny: When Comedy Can't Get Any Better!

Squish:
Why was the duck high? Because he was on quack!

Doctor Hot Stuff:
What up, folks, I'm Doctor Hot Stuff, giving ya'll fever since I walked up here!

Guy in Audience:
But you're a doctor.

Doctor Hot Stuff:
Yeah, that's just a name. Like how Marshall Mathers is Eminem, he's not really a candy, ya know.

Guy in Audience:
We know, stupid.

Guy in Audience:
You suck at this!

Doctor Hot Stuff:
Your mother said something else.

Guy in Audience:
Come at me, bro!

Doctor Hot Stuff:
Yeah, something like that.

Doctor Hot-Stuff:
Stay away from comedy, Donald. It's not for you, it's for us.

Donald:
You and Pete weren't funny up there, I'm sorry but that's how it goes.

Doctor Hot-Stuff:
Shut up! That deal should have been mine! But I was heckled... twice.

Donald:
Well, if you continue you'll get heckled every damn time!

Doctor Hot-Stuff:
That may be so, but when you continue, I'll be at your shows, then we'll see who will be heckled "every damn time."

Donald:
I'm going to be a comedian. You can't stop me. No one can.

Squish:
Look at Gerald. Telling his stupid joke. It sucks.

Donald:
Wait, that jerk! He stole my joke!

Squish:
Well, it's not that it's not funny, it's probably just him.

Gerald:
Okay, Gerald, you got this. You're gorgeous and funny. Mostly gorgeous.

Squish:
Well, well, well. We finally meet.

Sonny:
Yeah. Sonny and Squish.

Squish:
Squish and Sonny.

Sonny:
What's squishin' sonny?

Squish:
That's dumb.

Sonny:
I'm a corny comedian, it's not supposed to be smart.

Squish:
This is boring, man. You up for a drink?

Sonny:
Yeah, let's roll.

Ben Bentley:
Ben Bentley beats billions.

Ben Bentley:
[First lines] Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you guys the funniest guys in town! My name is Ben Bentley and welcome to the Corny Coated Comedy Club!

Ben Bentley:
Get off, Doc.