CPC Diary

Sick0Fant:
I noticed that there's a site that's linking to each and every one of these SMS Diary videos. Look at this. [clicks on soft core porn website] This looks like a... [chuckles] friggin' Japanese porno site. Look at these hot mamas. They all work at the frozen yogurt stand at the mall. [points to his video] And there's my video. So I guess I've got hundreds of Japanese businessmen masturbating to my videos. So, I guess I'll take it as a compliment, although I don't know what's so sexy about it.

Sick0Fant:
Here's Dick Tracy. Whatever penis joke you wanna insert... [laughs] I said "insert" and "penis" in the same breath. I'm sorry, that was stupid.

Sick0Fant:
Dick Tracy is on his toughest case yet. He's trying to figure out who took a dookie in the urinal.

Sick0Fant:
[after microphone difficulties] Sorry, I forgot to put the old microphone on. It was unprofessional, I'm sorry. It was unprofessional AND inappropriate. Please forgive me.

Sick0Fant:
Frank Bruno, or at least according to Wikipedia, I believe that he holds some sort of world record, for giving the most women the clap or something.

Sick0Fant:
I had never heard of him, but apparently he's like a god in the UK. He's legendary. I don't know, I guess they say that if he touches your clothing he supposedly cures all of your ills. He actually just punches your teeth down your throat.

Sick0Fant:
Listen to that voice work. [sound byte from Super Punch-Out plays] I guess Stephen Hawking is calling the fight.

Sick0Fant:
[sound byte from the game plays] Voice technology at its finest. I don't know how to compare that. I guess the closest thing that comes to mind would be crumpling up a sheet of tin foil.

Sick0Fant:
Grab on to the rope! What is this guy, friggin' retarded? Not to mention, he walks like he's got a friggin' peg leg. I don't remember that from the movie. That's probably what Indiana Jones 4 is gonna be like.