Crocodile Dundee

Sue Charlton:
That croc was going to eat me alive.

Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee:
Oh, I wouldn't hold that against him. Same thought crossed my mind once or twice.

Richard Mason:
Take care now.

Sue Charlton:
Don't worry. I'm a New Yorker!

Neville Bell:
Oh no, you can't take my photograph.

Sue Charlton:
Oh, I'm sorry, you believe it will take your spirit away?

Neville Bell:
No, you got a lens-cap on.

Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee:
Of course it took me a week to get this far. I thought I was a goner. I said to meself, "Mick old son, find yourself a nice comfortable spot and lay down and die".

Sue Charlton:
Weren't you afraid ?

Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee:
Of dying ? Nah. I read The Bible once. You know God and Jesus and all them apostles ? They were all fishermen, just like me. Yeah, straight to heaven for Mick Dundee. Yep, me and God, we'd be mates.

Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee:
For a minute there, "room-service" took on a whole new meaning.

Richard Mason:
New York City, Mr. Dundee. Home to seven million people.

Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee:
That's incredible. Imagine seven million people all wanting to live together. Yeah, New York must be the friendliest place on earth.

Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee:
If I give my heart to you...

Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee:
Then I'll have none and you'll have two...

Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee:
The funnelweb spider can kill a man in eight seconds, just by lookin' at him.

(Dundee and Sue are approached by a black youth stepping out from the shadows, followed by some others)

Teenage Mugger:
You got a light, buddy?

Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee :
Yeah, sure kid. (reaches for lighter and hands it to him) Here ya go.

Teenage Mugger:
(flicks open switchblade) And your wallet!

Sue Charlton:
(guardedly) Mick, give him your wallet.

Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee:
(amused) What for?

Sue Charlton:
(cautiously) He's got a knife.

Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee:
(chuckles) That's not a knife. (pulls out a large bowie knife) THAT's a knife.

(Dundee slashes the teen mugger's jacket and maintains eyeball-to-eyeball stare)

Teenage Mugger:
Sh*t!

(he and his friends run away)

Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee:
(to Sue) Just kids having fun. You all right?

Sue Charlton:
(relieved) I'm always all right when I'm with you, Dundee.

Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee:
[to a New York driver] Get on the right side of the road you pelican!

Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee:
No wonder you have so many accidents around here, the steering wheels on the wrong side of the car!

Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee:
[singing] Up North in the Never-Never / Where the land is harsh and bare / Lives a mighty hunter named Mick Dundee /Who can dance like Fred Astaire!

Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee:
Well, you see, Aborigines don't own the land.They belong to it. It's like their mother. See those rocks? Been standing there for 600 million years. Still be there when you and I are gone. So arguing over who owns them is like two fleas arguing over who owns the dog they live on.

Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee:
It's for washing your backside, right?

Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee:
[honks horn and yells to water buffalo] "Get out of the way dopey!"