Da Vinci's Inquest

Dominic Da Vinci:
I'll tell ya that, for free.

Dominic Da Vinci:
Not even if Hell freezes over and they play The Stanley Cup down there.

Sid Samuels:
Money? Now you listen to me. Either the wrong guy's in prison and the right guy's running loose, or the right guy's in prison and he somehow snuck out in the middle of the night, killed her...

Dominic Da Vinci:
[very quietly interrupting] All right.

Sid Samuels:
...cut her into various pieces...

Dominic Da Vinci:
[more firmly, interrupting] All right.

Sid Samuels:
...and then snuck back i-into a maximum security prison, in a solitary confinement cell.

Dominic Da Vinci:
[drily] You put a three-piece band behind that, you got yourself a country-and-western classic.

Det. Leo Shannon:
Calling those clowns the Organized Crime Unit, that's a joke. I got a sock drawer better organized than those guys.

Dominic Da Vinci:
I just want to tell you something. OK.

Helen:
Yeah.

Dominic Da Vinci:
[stumbling over his words] The Police Chief - the job's open. I'm in the running for that job.

[Helen has a stunned look on her face]

Dominic Da Vinci:
Seriously.

Helen:
You've been fighting with the police force for at least as long as I've been working here, and judging from the long list of enemies that you gave me when I started, a lot longer than that. So, sounds a little like, you know, the wolf running for Chief Chicken, 'cept they're the wolves and you're the chicken.

[Helen breathes a big sigh]

Dominic Da Vinci:
I gave you a list of my enemies.

Helen:
Yeah. You don't remember that? The list of people I'm not allowed to accept phone calls from?

Dominic Da Vinci:
You still got that list? I'd like to refresh my memory there.

Helen:
Well, it's a might longer by now, but I'll see if I can dig it up.

[Wendell Quinn mailed a severed finger and left a threatening message on the answering machine of Farris Dunlap]

Det. Rose Williams:
In our minds and maybe in the minds of the Crown, leaving a threatening message and a body part, that's a death threat.

Wendell Quinn:
'Leave room for God's wrath, for it is written it is mine to avenge and I will repay.'

Det. Leo Shannon:
Is that you talking or the Bible?

Wendell Quinn:
That's God talking, Mister.

Det. Leo Shannon:
You like those colored girls?

Det. Mick Leary:
Boys. Girls. As long as they're colored.

Det. Leo Shannon:
Hey, do you have a thing for colored girls?

Det. Mick Leary:
Boys. Girls. As long as they're 'colored'.

Dominic Da Vinci:
Half the people in this city don't have a pulse, doesn't mean they're dead.

Det. Leo Shannon:
I never trust a guy who orders chicken feet.

Dominic Da Vinci:
[rhetorically] Helen, Helen. Can you do me a favor? Can you read this file and tell me why I should care?

Philip Simms:
[about a deceased man on his apartment front doorstep] Could you please just get rid of him.

Dominic Da Vinci:
What's your name?

Philip Simms:
[defiantly] Philip Simms. And you?

Dominic Da Vinci:
[testily] What's my name?

Philip Simms:
That's right.

Dominic Da Vinci:
Da Vinci. Dominic.

Philip Simms:
[as Da Vinci starts to write] Two M's.

Dominic Da Vinci:
Well, Mr. Simms with two M's, that's a deceased man that's in your doorstep there, and he's going to remain there until I decide or not. But you, sir, will remain an a**hole forever.

Helen:
So he said it was inappropriate on my part to ask, and I told him it was inappropriate on his part not to ask, which was probably totally inappropriate on my part, but I don't even know what's appropriate anymore.

Chief Coroner Bob Kelly:
It seems that Dominic enjoys stirring the pot.

Helen:
Occasionally.

Chief Coroner Bob Kelly:
Yes, I'm a great believer in bad press being better than none at all, but do let me know if he plans on burning down the house.

Dominic Da Vinci:
What about you? When you, when you were at school? Were you a geek, or were you, uh, were you popular?

Helen:
Well, everyone thinks they're a geek somewhere, even popular ones. [pauses, then confidently] I was popular with myself.

Uniform #1:
We found traces of ecstasy too.

Det. Leo Shannon:
I can remember when ecstasy was Sophia Loren.

[Leary finds the wallet of a deceased person next to the dead body. He pulls out the driver's license to identify the body]

Det. Mick Leary:
Raymond Early. Too late for Mr. Early.

[Police Chief Bill Jacobs and his right hand man, Sgt. Charlie Klotchko, are walking along together hurriedly. Dominic Da Vinci runs after them]

Dominic Da Vinci:
Hey Bill... Bill. How are ya? Got a minute?

Police Chief Bill Jacobs:
Evening, Dom.

Sgt. Charlie Klotchko:
We're a little pressed for time.

Dominic Da Vinci:
I wasn't talking to you. If I was talking to you, I would have said, "hey a**hole".

Constable Dino Rosario:
I just wanted to congratulate you. What, you been on the job for two weeks already.

Sgt. Charlie Klotchko:
That's right.

Constable Dino Rosario:
So you must be half way up the Chief's ass by now.

Sgt. Charlie Klotchko:
Yeah, yeah, far enough I can just about touch your toes.