Daffy Duck's Quackbusters

Daffy:
You say the Loch Ness Monster is living in your jacuzzi?

Daffy:
Well, call Roto-Rooter!

Daffy:
Just call Daffy Duck, Bugs Bunny and Porky Pig, paranormalists at large. Spooks spooked, goblins gobbled, UFOs K.O.ed, aliens alienated, vampires evaporated, and monsters remonstrated.

Abominable Snowman:
And I searched and I searched... hooo it's hot... but I never caught up with my little bunny rabbit.

Bugs Bunny:
Jee, that's tough Mr. Abominabuble.

Abominable Snowman:
And now I'll never... gosh, it's hot... never see my bunny rabbit again.

Bugs Bunny:
Don't give up hope yet, doc. If you love him, he'll come back.

Daffy Duck:
Oh Bugsy! Bugsy buddy!

Bugs Bunny:
Oh hi, uh, what's up, Duck?

Daffy Duck:
Come here old pal, hm?

Hugo:
[picks up Bugs Bunny] My OWN little bunny rabbit, d'oy.

Bugs Bunny:
Hey! An abominabuble snowman!

Hugo:
I will name him George, and I will hug him, and pet him...

Daffy Duck:
Oh sure, I know I'm a louse, but I'm a live louse.

Hugo:
And I will give him security! And I will keep him warm like a mother hen, so he will never feel rejected or lack for love.

Daffy Duck:
Poor old Bugs. But, anyway you look at it, it's better HE should suffer. After all, it was me or him, and obviously it couldn't be me. It's a simple matter of logic. I'm not like other people, I can't stand pain, it hurts me.

Butler:
[answers door] Yeeeessss?

Daffy Duck:
Your troubles are over, Jeeves! Leave me to your stricken master.

Butler:
Be gone!

Daffy Duck:
Can't go in, huh?

Butler:
Eeh, no.

Daffy Duck:
Ohwell, no hard feelings, shake. [shocks Butler with hand buzzer, squirts him with flower, hits him in the face with a cigarette box, and tickles him]

Butler:
[laughing] Oh oh, you can see him, you can see him! Right this way.

Daffy Duck:
It all adds up. You and the upstairs maid, 'do the old boy in' you said, 'elderberry wine and old lace' you said, 'then, the quick getaway' you said. Champagne nights, tropical music and a heavy bank account!

Butler:
No no!

Daffy Duck:
Yes yes! But you weren't clever enough, were you John, alias Johnny, alias Jack, alias Jackie? Whew! What's Humphrey Bogart got that I ain't got?

Count Bloodcount:
I am a vampire.

Bugs Bunny:
Oh, yeah? Well, abracadabra, I'm an umpire.

[an umpire uniform appears on Bugs]

Count Bloodcount:
Hocus-pocus! [turns into a bat] I'm a bat!

Bugs Bunny:
Okay, I'm a bat, too. Abracadabra! [turns into a baseball bat]

Count Bloodcount:
[puts glasses on] You wouldn't hit a bat with glasses on, would you?

[Bugs as the baseball bat hits the bat on the head]

Bugs Bunny:
Ok Abom, here's your bunny rabbit.

Hugo:
D'oya... bunny rabbit... George?

Daffy Duck:
Bunny rabbit, me?

Bugs Bunny:
Yes, you, Doc.

Daffy Duck:
Ho ho, very funny, ha ha, very droll. Hey, shorty! What do you consider to be the distinguishing characteristics of a rabbit?

Hugo:
D'oy... distinguishing... character...

Daffy Duck:
Yeah, yeah, what makes a rabbit look like a rabbit?

Hugo:
Why, d'uh, d'uh, long ears!

Daffy Duck:
And whom around here has long ears? [to Bugs] Sorry to hafta do this to ya, bud.

Bugs Bunny:
[ties ears down around face] Eh, don't give it a second thought.

Hugo:
[picks up Daffy] Oh boy! Just what I always wanted! My own little bunny rabbit! I will...

Bugs Bunny:
They really do make a charming couple.

Hugo:
...and pet him, and squeeze him, and rub him, and stroke his bill, and rub his pretty feathers... Hey, wait a minute. Bunny rabbits don't have feathers and bills.

Daffy Duck:
I know, I know. [pointing at Bugs, who is tunneling away] There's goes your bunny rabbit!

Hugo:
Hey, uh, George, wait! [tunnels after Bugs]

Daffy Duck:
Ho ho, look out, bunny rabbit! This I gotta see. [tunnels after Bugs and Hugo]

Daffy Duck:
Alright, what's holdin' up the works. What's all the... the... huh. [sees Abominable Snowman] Aaahh!

Hugo:
D'oh! What a cute little pink bunny rabbit. [picks up Daffy] Just what I always wanted. My own little bunny rabbit! I will name him George, and I will hug him, and pet him, and squeeze him.

Daffy Duck:
I'm not a bunny rabbit.

Hugo:
And pat him, and pet him, and...

Daffy Duck:
You're hurting me... put me down, please.

Hugo:
And rub him, and caress him, and...

Daffy Duck:
I AIN'T NO BUNNY RABBIT!

Hugo:
Not a bunny rabbit, George? Then how come you have long ears, how come?

Daffy Duck:
Long ears? Ooh! [laughs] Those aren't ears, those are sleeves! So, now put me down, please, huh?

Hugo:
Oh George... you were naughty to pretend you was a bunny rabbit. I will punish you good. Bad old George!

Bugs Bunny:
[as he was being chased by Gossamer] Yeow! Yikes! Yeow! Yikes!

Daffy Duck:
Bothered by monsters?

Bugs Bunny:
[screams as Gossamer continues chasing him] Eek!

Daffy Duck:
Still bothered by monsters?

Daffy Duck:
Well I'm here, what've I missed? Massacre started yet? Fireworks going off? Balloon going up?

Daffy Duck:
[trying to sell a car] Right this way, folks, right this way! It's a bargain! Step right up and get yourself a brand new Dolorian! No household should be without one! Just $60,000 in three easy weekly installments. Yes sir, these little babies are selling like hotcakes! Plus, there's a free gift pack of ice-cold Billy Beer with each and ever purchase!

Daffy Duck:
[to Porky] Head on down to the Superstitious Mountains, and do some more snooping.

Daffy Duck:
One thing's for sure, I have nowhere else to go but up.

Daffy Duck:
Cubish! [repeated line]

Porky Pig:
[to Sylvester] What's the matter with you? What are you? A schizophre... a schizodephre... a-a manic depressive or something?

Porky Pig:
[after Sylvester wrestles a stuffed moose that's trying to shoot Porky Pig] Sy-sy-sylvester! What are you trying to do, wake everybody in the house? Of all the screwball ideas. Fighting with stuffed animals