Danville 2nd Ward Young Men

Travis Neal:
[Title Cards] We were jealous of these other guys' freaking awesome Russian hats.

Travis Neal:
[Title Cards] We first waited about an hour before we could actually go do something. Then Rick showed up.

Jeremy Glenn:
[Holds his empty glass towards Dallin] Load me up some. Can you give me some?

Dallin Earl:
[Clinks his glass to Jeremy's and starts drinking] Ha! Just kidding.

Dallin Earl:
We were talking about how I would get a jiggly braid on top of my head.

Travis Neal:
[Title Card] Every Memorial Day weekend, our ward goes and camps at Big Sur.

Dallin Earl:
[Reading off weight loss shake can] Vitamin K, what the heck is that?

Travis Neal:
[Title Card] Jeff had somehow gotten drunk off Dr. Pepper, and was super hyper and crazy the rest of the night.

Melissa Reeve:
Wow, we laugh about such lame things.

Dallin Earl:
[Talking about the weight loss shake] It tastes delicious!

Jeremy Glenn:
Whoppers? But you hate whoppers.

Dallin Earl:
It doesn't taste like whoppers. Oh I know what it tastes like! It tastes like a chocolate jelly bean!

Jenny Farrell:
Ew!

Jeremy Glenn:
Ugh, that's disgusting! Why would you wanna eat a chocolate jelly bean?

Dallin Earl:
I don't know! Agh!

Jenny Farrell:
Dallin, I think those weight loss shakes make you a little crazy.

Dallin Earl:
It's not a weight loss shake, it's a weight shake, see? I'm growing!

Jenny Farrell:
[Reading off card] Sappy. Gooey, mushy, romantic.

Dallin Earl:
Las Vegas.

Dallin Earl:
[Deciding on something romantic] The redwood forests. [Looks behind himself out the window] . Oh dang!

Jeremy Glenn:
I want to go to Paris. Wait, is that London? I don't know! I keep getting them confused, like is London Paris or-,

Dallin Earl:
Paris is Rome! Okay, let's go.

Dallin Earl:
[Reading off 'Sexy' card] Sed-ook-tive!

Jeremy Glenn, Travis Neal:
[Correcting] Seductive.

Dallin Earl:
What does seductive mean?

Travis Neal:
You don't wanna know.

Dallin Earl:
Dude, Mark Twain is freaking sexy! [to the window] MARK TWAIN IS SEXY!

Jeremy Glenn:
Good crap Dallin, the window's open!

Dallin Earl:
[Out the door] MARK TWAIN IS FREAKING... [to the camera] MARK TWAIN IS FREAKING-,

Jenny Farrell:
Be quiet!

Dallin Earl:
AROUSING!

Jeremy Glenn:
Dallin, will you shut up?

Dallin Earl:
MARK TWAIN AROUSES ME!

Jenny Farrell:
Jeremy, your card is... 'Masculine'.

Dallin Earl:
Ooh.

Jeremy Glenn:
Sweet. Let's do this thing.

Dallin Earl:
Okay. Male. Manly.

Jeremy Glenn:
You know it.

Jeremy Glenn:
Are you seriously videoing?

Travis Neal:
What?

Jeremy Glenn:
Are you videoing?

Travis Neal:
What makes you think I am?

Jeremy Glenn:
Just, just looking at the camera and holding it in a fixed position?

Travis Neal:
What? I'm, I'm looking... at pictures.

Jeremy Glenn:
Oh yeah.

Travis Neal:
Yeah.

Jeremy Glenn:
Why isn't your finger moving?

Travis Neal:
Yeah. I'm pressing the button. Because I'm scrolling through the pictures.

Rick Patterson:
[to Alex] You wanna go, little man?

Rick Patterson:
It's a Jeremy Sandwich!

Jeremy Glenn:
Agh! I'm dying! Agh! Stop pinching my butt!

Dallin Earl:
[singing] Yummy. Yea-he-he-heah! These are so yummy! I can't even stand all this goodness. All this yumminess!

Travis Neal:
Alright Jeff. Do it. Do it.

Jeff Reed:
[Pours a few red pepper flakes on his tongue] .

Travis Neal:
No no no, seriously do it.

Jeff Reed:
I did it again! Didn't you take a picture?

Travis Neal:
No, it's a video. Try it again.

Jeff Reed:
[Pours some more red pepper flakes on his tongue] .

Dallin Earl:
You got, like one that time!

Travis Neal:
You know what I don't get?

Taylor Jackson:
What's that?

Travis Neal:
About that song? It's like, "We wish you a Merry Christmas, now give us some pudding."

Taylor Jackson:
Yeah, we WON'T leave until we get some, because we all love figgy pudding.

Kyle Worley:
We brought you some poinsettias!

Travis Neal:
[after seeing Santa Claus] Rick, do you believe in him now?

Rick Patterson:
I don't. I do believe in reindeer and the Easter Bunny!

Travis Neal:
Would you believe that that is actually Brother Hagen in a Santa suit?

Rick Patterson:
It is?

Travis Neal:
What?

Rick Patterson:
I didn't know that. But I do believe in the Easter Bunny. He's pretty real.

Travis Neal:
A big bunny that breaks into your house and gives you eggs?

Rick Patterson:
Well it's better than Santa Claus, because he stalks you, because he knows when you are sleeping, and he knows when you're awake, so he's pretty much a stalker.

Jonathan Wright:
Who's a stalker?

Travis Neal, Rick Patterson:
Santa.

Jonathan Wright:
I agree.

Jeremy Glenn:
[to Jeff] That's it. I'M in charge of the water now!

Travis Neal:
[In the BART train] We look up, and this ad is gone from here.

Dallin Earl:
Yup.

Travis Neal:
It had like, Tim Lincecum on it.

Dallin Earl:
[Referring to who took it] Maybe it's that lady there sitting in that spot.

Travis Neal:
So, we had a close encounter with a hobo in the BART station.

Dallin Earl:
Scary.

Travis Neal:
Want to repeat his words, Dallin?

Dallin Earl:
Nah. [laughing] Just kidding.

Travis Neal:
Well, I'll repeat it.

Dallin Earl:
They're too horrible

Travis Neal:
Basically, what he was saying was, like...

Dallin Earl:
One time a cop tried to pull his pants down!

Travis Neal:
Yeah, and I was talking back I was like, "I feel ya bro. I feel ya". Aw man, good times. Good times.

Dallin Earl:
This is like the most diverse meal I've ever had. I got some tomatoes, some mashed potatoes, ketchup, and a burrito on my plate. And you ask what my meal was? Pancakes. Long gone.

Dallin Earl:
[On the Cable Car] And I am presently hanging of the edge of a moving vehicle.

Dallin Earl:
Lombard!

Travis Neal:
Lombard!

Dallin Earl:
[In a helium-filled voice] On top of spaghetti!

Dallin Earl:
[In a helium-filled voice] Hi how are you? My name is Dallin Earl, and I'm in 7th Grade, and I'm having a lot of fun with this balloon! And it's really cool.

Travis Neal:
[In a helium-filled voice] Ugh, I really want to get a tri-tip sandwich. What about you?

Rick Patterson:
I was Fox! I was a foxy Fox!

Travis Neal:
Hey, Dallin, I smell something.

Dallin Earl:
Safety!

Travis Neal:
Jon's being rebellious. He's not wearing a costume.

Jonathan Wright:
[Pointing to the words on his shirt] Yeah, I'm East West! East! West!

Travis Neal:
Oh, that's so clever.

Sabrina McGinnis:
[to some Trick-or-Treaters] Have a great Christmas!

Maddy Auman:
And a happy New Year!

Jeremy Glenn:
[Looking out the window at some Trick-or-Treaters] Oh they're walking away from me. Jerks.

Travis Neal:
We're going to go Trick-or-Treating for a little bit. As you can see, I am a mentally disturbed cow.

Maddy Auman:
And I am the head of the cow! I don't know why! Let's go!

Maddy Auman:
Oh, I know. "My parents wouldn't pay money to buy me a costume!"

Travis Neal:
We're big kids.

Sabrina McGinnis:
Ooooh! We're scary big kids! The cow and the Danville citizen!

Random Lady:
[Talking about the World Series] We could give you updates. It's like Three-threeee. Three-zero? [Walks away]

Maddy Auman, Sabrina McGinnis:
All right!

Maddy Auman:
Yeah Giants!

Sabrina McGinnis:
Go Giants!

Sabrina McGinnis:
[Poking a witch decoration] Hey, you have any candy? [Slapping the witch with a popcorn bag] Hey! Hey!

Jeremy Glenn:
Hey, he might be a cat! I think he has nine lives!

Dallin Earl:
I think he has more than that! Benny! Benny the Monkey!

Travis Neal:
[Title Cards] Brother Kukuk promised us a Snickers Bar if we climbed to the top... He still owes us that Snickers bar.

Travis Neal:
[Talking about a grasshopper] Yeah, and it's real. See look, it's moving!

Rick Patterson:
It actually is moving!

Travis Neal:
Here's Rick, and he's gonna eat a grasshopper!

Alec Viera:
It's a hot fudge sundae, actually.

Rick Patterson:
Well, yeah. We're pretending, okay?

Alec Viera:
It's not "really" a grasshopper.

Dallin Earl:
Hi, this is Dallin Earl, tuning in the... Deacon's... Scout Camp thingy!

Travis Neal:
Yeah!

Dallin Earl:
Right here, Rick and I are pumping water!

Rick Patterson:
Pump it up!

Travis Neal:
[Title Cards] We first camped at Roosevelt Lake... Where we swam... And I got a mondo mosquito bite on my face overnight.

Travis Neal:
[Title Cards] The Peak!

Travis Neal:
[Title Cards] Every year or so, we have LDS Night with the Giants. This time, it happened to be the same day as the Giants County Fair, so we went to both. The fair is held just across McCovey Cove from AT&T Park.

Jeremy Glenn:
[On the swings ride] Agh, gosh! I hate carnival rides!

Travis Neal:
This is a video, you know that?

Jeremy Glenn:
[Sarcastically] No!

Jeremy Glenn:
[Talking to Rick on the phone] It's your worst nightmare!

Travis Neal:
He's calling Rick.

Jeremy Glenn:
Rick, are you at the game? Are you at the game? Dude, it's about to end! They're losing! The Giants, oh, oh!

Travis Neal:
Yeah, they're on the ninth inning.

Jeremy Glenn:
No the Giants aren't losing. Wait, no, no, they're screwed.

Maddy Auman:
No they're not. They're winning in their hearts!

Jeremy Glenn:
They're so screwed. They're so screwed it's not even funny! Rick?

Alec Viera:
Rick?

Jeremy Glenn:
Anyway, goodbye.

Travis Neal:
[Title Cards] For Mutual, we went on a hike up in Las Trampas. We started at Remington Loop and headed up the hill.

Travis Neal:
[Title Cards] After hiking a little ways down the trail, we found the lake... And it was very smelly.

Ryan Hales:
[Referring to a frog he found] Dude, LOOK HOW BIG THIS ONE IS!

Travis Neal:
[Title Cards] After walking around there, we went down to Muir Beach. While eating there, a family offered us some of their barbecued chicken, pork, and steak.It was a lot better than our oranges and Cup Noodles!

Travis Neal:
[Title Cards] After hanging at the beach for a while, we headed down to Point Bonita. Whenever we passed a biker, Kyle Worley would say, "I like your bike!". One biker wasn't on his bike, but standing with his back to the road. Kyle asked "Hey, are you okay?". Turns out the guy was peeing.

Maddy Auman:
Rick.

Rick Patterson:
Yes Maddy?

Maddy Auman:
Sometimes... you're really cool.

Rick Patterson:
Only sometimes?

Travis Neal:
[Title Cards] The past year, Dallin, Jaren, and Rick did the "Candy Challenge" of having candy no candy for the whole year. Since Rick started on January 1, he was able to eat candy now!

Rick Patterson:
I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it!

Jeremy Glenn:
Good morning, Maddy!

Jaren Garff:
How do you have a feminine shell?

Travis Neal:
We just realized something. It's 1:11 on 1/1/11

Travis Neal:
So... we ran out of gas.

Dallin Earl:
We kind of ran out of gas.

Travis Neal:
Yeah.

Dallin Earl:
It stinks.

Jeremy Glenn:
It really stinks.

Dallin Earl:
We've been out here for half an hour.

Brent Spencer:
What do you have to say for yourself?

Chris Glenn:
Uh... well-,

Jeremy Glenn:
This STINKS!

Chris Glenn:
Yeah, it sucks.

Dallin Earl:
Kinda, just a little, I mean, IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY COOL! I've never ran out of gas before!

Chris Glenn:
Yeah, it's pretty cool.

Dallin Earl:
Yeah.

Travis Neal:
This is intense!

Travis Neal:
[Title Cards] We were able to get a lady's attention to pull over. Her name was Linda, and luckily she lived up the road off the highway. Randall went with her to get a gallon of gas, while we waited around on the highway. Dallin was still hyped up from his milkshakes, so he and Jeremy raced down the nearby vineyards. Linda and Randall came back with enough gas to get us to a station. Randall had Jeremy make a card saying, "Linda, you saved our bacon!"

Travis Neal:
[Title Cards] Chris and Dallin heard a fat guy make an earth-shattering fart in the bathroom.

Randall Diamond:
The allusive Troop 225 has been spotted, making their way down to a series of caves formed by fallen rocks... will they come out alive?

Brent Spencer:
Yeah! You guys are gonna disappear down there!

Randall Diamond:
Stay tuned, we'll return after these messages!

Dallin Earl:
[Chris grabs for his flashlight, hanging around his neck] Ow, my neck!

Chris Glenn:
Hey, Jeremy toss me a headlamp. I seriously need one!

Brent Spencer:
There goes Travis. Travis, look up!

Travis Neal:
Oh hello. [Dallin's foot swings by] Woah, a foot!

Travis Neal:
[Title Cards] At one point, we had to climb up a stream, through a small space into a larger cave. I tried going through, and just barely made it with my pack on. I actually got a little stuck through. We had to take off our packs, pass them through the space, and set them on a dry area of the cave. Once everyone was through, we went into the next cave and had a celebratory beef jerky break.

Travis Neal:
[Title Card] Chris had gotten a little wet from the stream. [Picture shows Chris' lower legs completely wet]

Travis Neal:
[Title Cards] After a lunch of cold pizza, Randall surprised us with Snickers bars from the gas station! All we could really say was, "Linda... you saved our bacon!"

Travis Neal:
[Title Cards] Anyway, the next morning, we created what would be a camp out food classic: Sunrise Stew. What is Sunrise Stew? Eggs, bacon, sausage, cheese, and hashbrowns all mixed to form a heavenly delight.

Jaren Garff:
I accuse... Jeremy. I accuse Jeremy. Because... he, uh, he was playing with fireworks on the night before the crime, and he has explosives in his garage.

Travis Neal:
How do you know?

Jaren Garff:
How do I know? Because I've been in his garage.

Travis Neal:
Oooh!

Jeremy Glenn:
You've been in my garage? Holy crap! Stalker! I think this guy should be put down! This guy's a freaking stalker!

Rick Patterson:
Once, there was this guy, and um, he was playing his video games, and someone broke into his house, and pulled the fuse on him. And he was trying to figure out what he was doing and put his tongue into the... plug. The outlet. Yeah. And he got electrocuted. And that person was Jaren.

Jeremy Glenn:
Your comeuppance for the fireworks thing!

Jaren Garff:
So it was you!

Rick Patterson:
Okay. Mafia wins! Good job, Mafia!

Jeremy Glenn:
YEAH!

Dallin Earl:
They murdered me! I knew it was you from the very beginning, Jeremy! I knew it was you!

Jeremy Glenn:
I think I'm scarred for life! I think I need to shoot myself in the face!

Jeremy Glenn:
Dallin's being really queer!

Dallin Earl:
[In a flamboyant voice] What are you talking about queer?

Jeremy Glenn:
That's what I'm talking about, queer!

Kyle Worley:
[Repeated line] Hold 'em in!

Rick Patterson:
Okay, so, once this little boy-,

Dallin Earl:
Why is it always a little boy?

Rick Patterson:
Once this MAN was walking to go to his chorus concert-,

Dallin Earl:
Once a fat guy! A fat guy!

Rick Patterson:
No! A chorus concert, and when he was in there, he sang the highest note he could, and a bomb went off. That person was Brandon. You died.

Brandon Wilhelmsen:
Awww! Dang it!

Rick Patterson:
Okay, so who were you?

Brandon Wilhelmsen:
I was the detective.

Travis Neal:
[Title Cards] That night, a British couple in the campsite next to us told us to be more quiet, because their baby was sleeping. When we were about to go to sleep, their baby started crying. We heard them say: 'I told you, you need to cradle the baby!' 'I've already tried that! The baby's gone mad!'

Travis Neal:
Jaren's trike is over there. You can't really see it.

Dallin Earl:
Dude. Dude! That man with a beard is trying to steal Jaren's trike! Let's get him!

Travis Neal:
[Title Card] Once at the top, we had a hearty lunch of Easy Cheese.

Alec Viera:
Do you have any consideration for what I just said?

Travis Neal:
What?

Alec Viera:
I said, 'This man's gotta take a leak!'

Jeremy Glenn:
I'm a dinosaur!

Travis Neal:
Dallin, do the choc-, do the powder thing.

Dallin Earl:
I only have a little bit left.

Travis Neal:
Oh.

Dallin Earl:
But I'll do it.

Travis Neal:
Do it anyway.

Dallin Earl:
[Whispering] Actually, I'm gonna do it in Jaren's face!

Travis Neal:
[Title Cards] We drove up to the Old Green Barn Trailhead. We then backpacked a mile up the Hayfield Road to our same campsite at High Valley Camp.

Travis Neal:
[Title Cards] The next day, we got up and started making our personal favorite choice for breakfast: Sunrise Stew. What is Sunrise Stew? Eggs, hash browns, cheese, bacon, and sausage all mixed together to form happiness.

Travis Neal:
[Title Cards] Since it was October, we were right in the middle of tarantula mating season, so we saw a whole bunch of these little guys. [Shows picture of a tarantula]

Dallin Earl:
Rick, shut up. You said you weren't going to talk, Rick!

Rick Patterson:
I'm sorry.

Dallin Earl:
When I grew up, my parents named me Giovanni, but I hated that name, so I changed it to Pablo at the age of twenty-three. Then I hated Pablo, so I was like, 'Oh, who'd become Pablo?' So then I was like, 'Okay, no Pablo,' I changed my name to, um...

Jaren Garff:
Ballal. Ballal.

Dallin Earl:
Ballal? Ballal is an Indian name! Who even cares about Ballal?

Jaren Garff:
I do!

Dallin Earl:
I grew up in, uh Mexico. So I was like 'Oh yo, dude! Mexico is awesome!' But, my father, every day...

Jaren Garff:
He beat him with a toaster!

Dallin Earl:
He beat me with a toaster.

Dallin Earl:
Then I changed my name to Arted, and I was just like, 'Ayf Ayf Arted!'

Dallin Earl:
So I grew up, and I went to the farm, and I picked some potatoes, and they were pretty good, but I don't like potatoes very much.

Rick Patterson:
[singing] Rice-a-Roni, Rice-a-Roni, yummy. Three times daily, pretty please! Rice-a-Roni, Rice-a-Roni is so cool. I'm from China, and I like rice!

Dallin Earl:
AUGH!

Dallin Earl:
Hi! I use Bed, Bath, and Beyond every day!

Jaren Garff:
It doesn't kill the super germs, which kill you!

Rick Patterson:
Yeah, exactly. So never use hand sanitizer. It's evil!

Dallin Earl:
I'm still doing my commercial.

Dallin Earl:
I use this under my arms, in my mouth, and on my feet. Including in between the toes!

Dallin Earl:
And here we have a squirrel... eating Pooh!

Travis Neal:
[Title Cards] Back in the car, Dallin made up a story which inspired us later on to make a movie called "Jimmy Stratford". If you've never seen this movie, it's probably a good thing you haven't.

Dallin Earl:
So, recently, my mom was talking to me about what I want to be for Christmas, i mean Halloween! Okay? 'Cause like, Christmas is my, I mean Halloween is my favorite holiday, because, like, you get to dress up. And everyone knows everyone dresses up!

Dallin Earl:
So this is what I'm gonna do. I especially-, sorry I'm spitting a little bit. Especially, I'm gonna be Ash!

Dallin Earl:
So. So I was just thinking about what I wanted to be for Halloween, and I was just like 'What do I wanna be for Halloween?' First my mom was like, 'Hey yo, Halloween's coming up soon!' I was just like, 'What? Halloween's coming up?' 'Yeah, Halloween's coming up!' 'Oh, what should I be for Halloween?' 'I don't know. You think of something, because-, or else I'm gonna slap you,' I was like, 'I don't wanna be slapped! So I will think of something! Leave me alone!' She's like, 'Okay, I will leave you alone, because you better think of something,' I was like, 'Okay, I will think of someth-,' Okay.

Rick Patterson:
Flashback!

Travis Neal:
[Title Card] For Scout Camp, we went to Camp Oljato, by Huntington Lake, up in the Sierra Nevadas.

Travis Neal:
This is Rick's realization.

Rick Patterson:
I told you! Told you all! We are going to Fresno! Totally told you all! Yeah, baby!

Travis Neal:
Brother Spencer just said we 're going to Fresno, so...

Rick Patterson:
We're going to Fresno!

Travis Neal:
Yes.

Travis Neal:
[In McDonalds] Jeremy, look! It's Ronald McDonald!

Jeremy Glenn:
[Starts laughing] Dang it, Travis! Where's my old dang shotgun?

Travis Neal:
We found this bike.

Dallin Earl:
And it sucks!

Travis Neal:
Oh, hey Dallin.

Dallin Earl:
Sitting. I'm tired.

Travis Neal:
[Points camera to Dallin's bloody leg] Oh, what happened to your leg?

Dallin Earl:
I got bit by a fish.

Kyle Makaiwi:
Mmhmm!

Connor Hyde:
[to Jeremy on the bike] Hey, ride it as fast as you can down the dock and see what happens!

Jaren Garff:
[At the lizard and spider habitat] The lion sleeps with the lamb?

Kyle Makaiwi:
[Coaching Rick in the spaghetti-eating competition] Go for the greens, come on! There's a viscous sausage with your name on it!

Dallin Earl, Rick Patterson:
Shut up!

Travis Neal:
Shut up!

Dallin Earl:
Shut up!

Paul Kukuk:
Don't make me go to the fists.

Dallin Earl:
Shut up!

Paul Kukuk:
No.

Dallin Earl:
Shut up. Shut the fudge up!

Paul Kukuk:
I don't think you want me going to the fists!

Dallin Earl:
Shut up!

Travis Neal:
[Playing Sweet and Sour] He's shaving? That guy was shaving in there!

Dallin Earl:
Ew!

Dallin Earl:
[Playing Sweet and Sour] Dude, did you see how fat that guy was? He had like, six chins, and his stomach went out like, under the steering wheel!

Jaren Garff:
What's the serving size? What's the serving size?

Dallin Earl:
[Reading off Goldfish bag] Fifty-five pieces.

Dallin Earl:
Okay, listen to this. Combine the taste of Brooke and Xtreme crackers, and what do you get? Baby crackers!

Travis Neal:
[Title Card] We found out the pool was super cold, from Brother Kukuk jumping in and then rushing out, squealing like a little girl. We made a competition of whoever could stay in the pool the longest.

Taylor Jackson:
Okay, all the scouts, this is Wilderness Survival Part 2, you guys stay outside, you have to stay outside and stay alive until tomorrow morning. You can come in for breakfast at 8:00.

Grant Carver:
Okay, can I have your car keys?

Rick Patterson:
[Talking in his sleep] James...

Travis Neal:
James?

Jeremy Glenn:
Who's James?

Rick Patterson:
I don't know.

Jeremy Glenn:
James and the Giant Peach?

Rick Patterson:
No.

Jeremy Glenn:
Do you like peaches?

Rick Patterson:
I've never had prunes.

Jeremy Glenn:
No, not prunes. Peaches.

Rick Patterson:
I've never had one.

Travis Neal:
Rick, what's the meaning of life?

Rick Patterson:
[Talking in his sleep] To have children.

Travis Neal:
[Title Card] In the morning, we had some bacon... [Picture shows fifty pieces of bacon stacked on a plate] .

Dallin Earl:
[Talking into a women's bathroom door] Dude! Dude! Don't come out. There's a lady out here. Don't come out!

Travis Neal:
Brother Kukuk is in there. In the women's.

Dewlin Rosdahl:
[laughing] Video-tape it!

Dallin Earl:
[Driving out in the middle of nowhere] Stupid fence! Stupid grass! Stupid Dewlin! Stupid cows!

Dallin Earl:
Dustin jumped on that cloud over there, and he thought it was fun.

Dallin Earl:
[Reading off Goldfish bag] Combine... combine the taste of savory parmesan Goldfish crackers with explosive pizza. So what are we doing, are combining Brooke with Xtreme? Look, we're combining Brooke with Xtreme! And they are joining together to form goodness... TASTYness.

Jeremy Glenn:
Do you like pink dresses with red polka dots?

Rick Patterson:
[Talking in his sleep] Mickey... Minnie Mouse.

Ryan Hales:
Uh huh?

Travis Neal:
Do you like Mickey Mouse, Rick?

Rick Patterson:
He's my best friend.

Jeremy Glenn:
Do you wanna make out with his girl, Minnie Mouse?

Rick Patterson:
No... He's real.

Jeremy Glenn:
Mickey Mouse isn't real, he's just a FAKE character!

Ryan Hales:
Who DO you wanna make out with?

Travis Neal:
Mickey Mouse is a beast.

Rick Patterson:
I like... swimming.

Jeremy Glenn:
Do you wanna make out with Jaren?

Rick Patterson:
No, that's gay!

Ryan Hales:
It's Laughing Sal!

Paul Kukuk:
Shoo-fly!

Travis Neal:
[Title Card] Jaren had a bit of trouble getting his sleeping bag in his pack. [Picture shows Jaren's sleeping bag flowing out of his pack]

Dallin Earl:
Who drew that? Who ruined my picture of Ballal? Was that you, Jaren?

Dallin Earl:
[Spotting license plate] Oh yeah. Oh. Oh shoot.

Travis Neal:
Illinois!

Rick Patterson:
That's what I was about to say!

Dallin Earl:
Aw, man!

Travis Neal:
Yes!

Travis Neal:
Truck-bo-buck!

Dallin Earl:
Aw man. Dude, you got me.

Dallin Earl:
My friend Travis here thought of a good one! [Flosses his teeth with the string] Floss! It could be-, [Spits] Travis, that was a terrible idea!

Dallin Earl:
This thing's worthless. I mean... I know, man, why, why would anyone buy it? Oh, are we on?

Dallin Earl:
Harassing? That's a good word! I'm gonna use that.

Travis Neal:
Harassment?

Dallin Earl:
Aw man, here's Billy Bob Joe stepping up. Billy Bob, how did you use it? Billy Bob?

Rick Patterson:
Oh, I'm Billy Bob, okay um, I used it as a hotdog. Well as a prank on April Fools Day.

Dallin Earl:
No you didn't!

Rick Patterson:
Yes I did!

Dallin Earl:
That's great!

Rick Patterson:
Yes I did. Yes.

Dallin Earl:
He used it as a... a hotdog? Is that, is that what he said?

Rick Patterson:
A PRANK hotdog.

Dallin Earl:
Oh a prank hotdog. That's a good idea! Look, because someone could walk right up and go 'CHOMP!' but then, it's not a hotdog! Ta-da! Can I get a 'Ta-da'?

Travis Neal:
We're at the Jamboree.

Dewlin Rosdahl:
Yeah, Jamboree! YEAH!

Travis Neal:
[Title Card] After watching a weird performance of skits, Vietnamese dancing kids, and a guy running around in a banana suit, we went back to our camp and went to bed.

Dallin Bruschke:
[On the old train machine] Guys, look, they left the spark plug in there!

Jeremy Glenn:
Let's start up the spark plug!

Dallin Bruschke:
If you stuck a battery to that, it might start working!

Travis Neal:
[Title cards] We walked past this one troop, who was roasting their own pig on a fire. Don't know why, don't even know how they got it, but they were roasting a FREAKING PIG.

Travis Neal:
[Title Card] We then went to the weirdest concert we have ever been to.

Dallin Earl:
[At the concert] I know this song, hold on.

Jeremy Glenn:
It's Michael Jackson.

Dallin Earl:
Yeah I know.

Jeremy Glenn:
[Remembering] Billie Jean!

Dallin Earl:
Augh!

Travis Neal:
Billie Jean.

Dallin Earl:
I knew that. [Impersonating Michael Jackson] Ow!

Travis Neal:
[Watching the San Francisco Boys Chorus] Oh, now they're splitting.

Dallin Earl:
That's horrible.

Travis Neal:
What?

Dallin Earl:
Oh, now they're playing the xylophone.

Travis Neal:
They have a xylophone? Where?

Dallin Earl:
[Eating the baby food peas] This tastes delish! I could eat this all day!

Jaren Garff:
Okay. The first uh, the first uh, thing is open up the big envelope with hats. We have to wear the hats for the rest of the race. Go to Primo's and find a stranger to wear the extra hat. The team and stranger must sing "Happy Birthday" to Rick on video. Get a group photo with your stranger.

Travis Neal:
We have to get one pound of candy from At The Candy Shop!

Jaren Garff:
Take off party hats for just this challenge. Put on Santa hats or reindeer antlers.

Jeremy Glenn:
I call a Santa hat! I call one!

Jaren Garff:
Okay, so we need to to deliver a cart per person to a shopper in the parking lot,we need to go inside the store and write "Happy Birthday Rick!" on the chalk board. Entire team sing five Christmas carols outside of Trader Joe's. Alright?

Jonathan Wright:
[singing] Santa Claus is NOT coming to town!

Travis Neal:
Yes he is, John!

Alec Viera:
Yeah, he is! Nonbeliever!

Jeremy Glenn:
[to Jaren, after he chased a man down with a cart] Don't chase after them with a cart!

Travis Neal:
[Talking about a lady in a car] She's calling somebody!

Alec Viera:
[to the lady] It's chill. It's chill. You can still come out. You don't have to hide from your problems. We're alright. We're alright.

Travis Neal:
We're fine.

Alec Viera:
We're not gonna murder you.

Alec Viera:
We're just giving out carts!

Travis Neal:
We're just weird kids.

Travis Neal:
[Reading from card] Alright, buy five dollars worth of party decorations. Buy five dollars worth of party favors for the other team. Take pictures of one dreadlock wig, a Hawaiian lei, a horse sticker, a fake mustache, a smiley face ring, and an acrylic container of plastic babies. You may not ask the employees for help. Take a silly picture in the store of everyone wearing a funny hat or holding a funny prop. I call dibs on the babies.

Travis Neal:
The clue is "If you're a fan of St. Patrick's Day, this is where you should go today." What is it?

Jeremy Glenn:
Is it a house?

Jen Garff:
No.

Jaren Garff:
It's not a house.

Jeremy Glenn:
Is it like, a shop or something?

Jen Garff:
Yes. It's an establishment.

Spencer Patterson:
Green Walls! Like, Walgreens! Walgreens!

Jaren Garff, Jeremy Glenn:
Walgreens?

Jen Garff:
No. Good guess.

Jonathan Wright:
Walmart!

Jeremy Glenn:
Okay no.

Spencer Patterson:
Awww, I'm a fail!

Jeremy Glenn:
Greenbrook?

Travis Neal:
Greenbrook School?

Jen Garff:
I'll tell you what, it does not have "green" in the name.

Jeremy Glenn:
Oh, so then it has to have, like a clover, or something.

Travis Neal:
Lucky's!

Travis Neal:
[Showing a truck stuck on the side of a curb] We're at Luck'ys, and these people got stuck on the side of the curb, so uh, yeah. But we're going into Lucky's. We have to get some Superfood and drink it out of our Dixie cups.

Alec Viera:
[Showing his broken arm] Yeah, it will heal this in like, five seconds. That's why it's called Superfood.

Travis Neal:
Superfood.

Alec Viera:
It's not just food. It's SUPERfood.

Alec Viera:
[Points to a "Solomon" DVD] He drinks Superfood.

Travis Neal:
He drinks Superfood. Solomon.

Alec Viera:
[Points to a "Jesus" DVD] Maybe he does too.

Travis Neal:
Jesus does not drink Superfood. He doesn't need it.

Alec Viera:
He's already super.

Spencer Patterson:
[as Jaren is pouring the Superfood into the cups] Beer me. Do you not understand that term, "Beer me"?

Jaren Garff, Jeremy Glenn, Alec Viera, Spencer Patterson, Travis Neal, Jonathan Wright, Jeff Reed:
[Chanting to the camera] R-I-C-K Rick! You are smarter than a brick!

Alec Viera:
[Trying to unscramble a word "REBLBSCOKUT" on a card] It's all one word.

Jeremy Glenn:
So it's like, a store or something?

Jonathan Wright:
It has two "B"s in it.

Alec Viera:
Blockbusters.

Jeremy Glenn:
[to John, standing in the Carl's Jr. Drive-Thru] We're not going through the Drive-Thru, idiot!

Alec Viera:
Go go go go go go go! Break all traffic laws!

Kyle Makaiwi:
[Talking about the smashed-up cake] It depends who thinks it's pretty!

Jeremy Glenn:
Wow that guy's got gigantic legs!

Dallin Earl:
You can see his legs?

Jeff Reed:
[Frustrated] What does legs mean? Tell me.

Travis Neal:
Well legs... are a part of your body, it's a part of your body that's below your waist.

Jeff Reed:
But what are you literally meaning by it?

Travis Neal:
Legs. Just legs!

Dallin Earl:
If you guys want, you can keep your bikes at my house, just don't expect them to be there when you come back

Jeff Reed:
Okay. Why not.

Jeremy Glenn:
We'll take 'em

Jeff Reed:
You can just have it I don't really care.

Jeremy Glenn:
We'll sell 'em on the Black Market.

Dallin Earl:
Black Market? I was thinking eBay.

Jaren Garff:
So I said to Jeremy, "Jeremy, those Spandex legs-, those Spandex, those Spandex, that really look awesome. And he was like, 'Oh yeah, girls like Spandex that show their... LEGS!' And so that just became like a joke.

Dallin Earl:
What? I don't get it.

Jaren Garff:
Girls really like Spandex that shows guys'... LEGS!

Dallin Earl:
That is disgusting!

Jeff Reed:
[Hits the cue ball, and it flies off the pool table] Agh!

Jaren Garff:
[laughing] I'm pretty sure I can just put it wherever I want!

Jeremy Glenn:
[Trying set up a shot for pool with Ryan in the way] Hey Ryan, can you move?

Alec Viera:
RYAN MOVE!

Ryan Hales:
OKAY!

Jeremy Glenn:
[after singing] That was the worst thing I ever heard!

Dallin Earl:
What is he doing?

Jodi Reed (Sr.):
What?

Dallin Earl:
Nothing.

Dallin Earl:
[Answering an unknown call on Rick's phone in a funny voice] Hello, who is this? Hey if this is a prank... Ah okay, you're just wasting my time now. Come on, who is this? [Caller hangs up] From Unkown. Call back.

Rick Patterson:
Some person was giving out my number, and I got all these random calls asking for Maria, asking to go out on dates.

Allison Clark:
Who's Maria?

Rick Patterson:
What?

Allison Clark:
Who's Maria?

Rick Patterson:
I don't know.

Dallin Earl:
One time I got a call from this like, German lady about how a kid got in trouble at school, and I'm like, 'Uh, I think you got the wrong number'.

Jaren Garff:
I got a call from this Asian guy that was telling me about how bad I am at gardening. He was like, 'Dude, you don't cut the bushes, you don't mow the lawn, you don't wipe the windows!' He was like, 'You're so bad at gardening!' I was like, 'What the heck?'

Dallin Earl:
[Talking again to the Unknown caller on Rick's phone in a funny voice] Hey come on. Please stop calling me. I mean really. I'm getting really ticked off now. No. If you want I can go for my shovel. And come over to your house. And introduce you to it! Come on, just tell me your address. Come on. What is your name? [laughing] They hung up a long time ago.

Travis Neal:
There was a girl at the dance and she was just like, 'Hey Jaren, remember me from Elementary School?' And he was like, 'Ooh, no I don't,'

Dallin Earl:
This is Jaren under stress: 'Hey hey, I'm Brittany!' 'What? What? Look, lady, I think you've got the wrong Jaren,'