Demolition Man

Simon Phoenix:
Spartan? John Spartan? Oh sh*t! They let anybody into this century.

John Spartan:
Send a maniac to catch a maniac.

John Spartan:
You're gonna regret this the rest of your life... both seconds of it.

Lenina Huxley:
I was wondering if you would like to have sex?

John Spartan:
With you? Here? Now?

John Spartan:
Oh, yeah.

John Spartan:
I was thinkin' we could do it the old-fashioned way.

Lenina Huxley:
You mean... *fluid transfer*?

Lenina Huxley:
Let's go blow this guy.

John Spartan:
Away! Blow this guy *away*!

Lenina Huxley:
Whatever.

Simon Phoenix:
Wait a minute... This is the future. Where are all the laser guns?

Simon Phoenix:
Look I don't need a history lesson! C'mon, HAL, where are the god damn guns?

Moral Statute Machine:
You are fined one credit for a violation of the Verbal Morality Statute.

Simon Phoenix:
What? F*** you!

Moral Statute Machine:
Your repeated violation of the Verbal Morality Statute has caused me to notify the San Angeles Police Department. Please remain where you are for your reprimand.

Simon Phoenix:
Yeah, right.

Simon Phoenix:
F***ers are fast too.

John Spartan:
Hey Luke Skywalker, use the force.

Simon Phoenix:
I'm sorry to say that the world has become a p*ssy-whipped, Brady Bunch version of itself, run by a bunch of robed sissies.

Lenina Huxley:
Looks like there's a new shepherd in town.

John Spartan:
That's sheriff.

Lenina Huxley:
Chief, you can take this job, and you can shovel it.

John Spartan:
"Take this job, and *shovel* it."

Lenina Huxley:
Yeah?

John Spartan:
Close enough.

Lenina Huxley:
Looks like he matched his meet. You really licked his ass.

Boggle Guard:
Mellow greetings, sir. What seems to be your boggle?

Lenina Huxley:
The exchange of bodily fluids? Do you know what that leads to?

John Spartan:
Yeah, I do! Kids, smoking, a desire to raid the fridge.

Lenina Huxley:
I find this lack of stimulus to be truly disappointing, don't you think?

Warden Smithers:
I try not to. However, you're young. Think all you want.

Simon Phoenix:
Simon says, "Die."

Simon Phoenix:
Simon says, "Bleed."

Troubled Guy:
I don't know... lately I just don't feel like there's anything special about me.

Erwin:
We're police officers! We're not trained to handle this kind of violence!

John Spartan:
I'm going to go down there. I'm gonna find Phoenix and I'm gonna put him in a hurt locker.

Taco Bell Patron:
What would you say if I called you a brutish fossil, symbolic of a decayed era gratefully forgotten?

John Spartan:
I don't know... thanks?

Simon Phoenix:
Damn, this f***er's like a New York cockroach!

Simon Phoenix:
I must've done something right in a previous life. Can't imagine what that could've been.

Simon Phoenix:
I hope my butt didn't look like that! Okay, who do we have that's good? Wilkes, Patrick... Jeffrey Dahmer? I love that guy!

Simon Phoenix:
I'll be goddamned! What is happening with the cops today? Huh? Don't you know you're endangering the lives of some villains?

Edgar Friendly:
You see, according to Cocteau's plan I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think; I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder - "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecued ribs with the side order of gravy fries?" I WANT high cholesterol. I wanna eat bacon and butter and BUCKETS of cheese, okay? I want to smoke Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section. I want to run through the streets naked with green jello all over my body reading playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiener".

John Spartan:
You're on TV!

Simon Phoenix:
So let me get this right, they defrosted you just so you could lasso my piddly ass? Damn, you been had! I been dreamin' about killin' you for forty years.

John Spartan:
Well, keep dreaming!

Dr. Cocteau:
Well I must say that whacking, whatever it is, sounds most disagreeable.

John Spartan:
So let me get this right, Spacely Sprockets here, whose now the man in charge, the Mayor Gov who want to take me to dinner at Taco Bell, and lord knows what in my burrito, is also one of the guys who built the God-damned cryo-prison?

Lenina Huxley:
That is correct, money is out-moded. All transactions are through code.

John Spartan:
All right, so he can't buy food or a place to stay for the night. And, it would be a waste of time to mug somebody. Unless he rips off somebody's hand, and let's hope he doesn't figure that one out.

John Spartan:
You're Under Arrest, Phoneix.

Simon Phoenix:
Sh*t! Arrest? And You're Trespassing.

Squad Leader:
Simon Phoenix! Lie down with your hands behind your back.

Simon Phoenix:
What's this? Six of you. Such nice, tidy uniforms. Oh I'm so scared!

Simon Phoenix:
What you guys don't have sarcasm anymore?

Squad Leader:
Maniac is responding with a scornful remark.

Simon Phoenix:
The museum is no longer sealed is it! Haha! What can I say, I'm a blast from the past!

John Spartan:
You should've stayed there.

Simon Phoenix:
Whoa that voice sounds familiar. Who is that?

Chief George Earle:
We can just wait for another code to go red. And when Phoenix performs another Murder Death Kill, we'll know exactly where to pounce.

John Spartan:
Great plan.

Chief George Earle:
Thank you.

Erwin:
He likes your plan, Chief!

John Spartan:
Somebody put me back in the fridge.

John Spartan:
Is it cold in here, or is it just me?

Simon Phoenix:
Good memory.

LeninaHuxley:
I have, in fact, perused some newsreels in the Schwartzenegger Library.

JohnSpartan:
Hold it. The Schwartzenegger Library?

LeninaHuxley:
Yes. The Schwartzenegger Presidential Library. Wasn't he an actor when you...

JohnSpartan:
But how? He was President?

LeninaHuxley:
Yes! Even though he wasn't born in this country, his popularity at the time caused the 61st Amendment which states...

JohnSpartan:
I don' wanna know. President.

Simon Phoenix:
No free rides!

Edgar Friendly:
All I wanna do in bury Cocteau up to his neck in sh*t, and let him think happy-happy thoughts forever.

John Spartan:
Brake! Brake! Brake now, you Mickey Mouse-piece of sh*t!

John Spartan:
Why don't you just shove a leash up my ass?

Computer voice:
John Spartan you are fined one credit for a violation of the verbal morality code!

"you can't take away people's right to be a**holes" - Simon phoenix

I'd lose my head if it was not attached I'll keep that in mind

Lenina Huxley "Enhance Calm"