Department S

Jason King:
Stealing? Its a sure sign of frustration in a woman.

Sir Curtis Seretse:
I don't want to hear that you put his arm on him, Sullivan.

Stewart Sullivan:
Is that a warning?

Sir Curtis Seretse:
It's not anything. I merely said I didn't want to HEAR about it.

Annabelle Hurst:
You don't really think Jason is right, do you?

Stewart Sullivan:
No, but he has a nasty habit of scoring near misses.

Annabelle Hurst:
He has a nasty habit of making wild generalizations that cover just about anything!

Stewart Sullivan:
'Auntie' got indigestion again?

Annabelle Hurst:
No, amnesia. She probably feels we're working her too hard.

Stewart Sullivan:
How is it going, anyway?

Annabelle Hurst:
Slowly. If only I had more data!

Stewart Sullivan:
Yeah, like who took it [the plane] and why!

Stewart Sullivan:
If you need any help, call Jason.

Annabelle Hurst:
Then 'Auntie' would probably have a heart attack on the spot!

Annabelle Hurst:
We should feed the facts into the computer.

Stewart Sullivan:
Let's not insult it. Let's feed 'em into Jason.

Annabelle Hurst:
I've done some research.

Stewart Sullivan:
On what?

Annabelle Hurst:
Ghosts. 22 % of the people in this country believe that ghosts exist.

Stewart Sullivan:
You must be joking.

Annabelle Hurst:
I'm not. There were 106 recorded apparitions in England last year. I couldn't get he figures for America, but they're probably higher.

Stewart Sullivan:
What have you been reading, "Hamlet"?

Annabelle Hurst:
I'm just telling you, that's all.

Stewart Sullivan:
If 22% of the people believe in ghosts, then 22% of the people are fools!

The Doctor:
[about Jason] With all the sedatives he's had, there's no telling what he's going to do next.

Stewart Sullivan:
Doctor, what you just said applies whether he's under sedation or not!

Annabelle Hurst:
[after she couldn't prevent Mrs. Tailor's abduction] Would it have helped if I'd got myself shot?

Stewart Sullivan:
Sure, the department always prefers dead heroes to live failures!

Sir Curtis Seretse:
There isn't very much to go on, is there? Still - there never is... If there was, you wouldn't be here!

Stewart Sullivan:
[to Jason] Have you come up with anything?

Annabelle Hurst:
[ironically] While we've been wasting our time, the Edgar Allen Poe of paperbacks has probably solved the whole thing!

Jason King:
Not quite. But take a look at this...

Annabelle Hurst:
Shall we go through what we've got?

Stewart Sullivan:
Why not. We've got so little it shouldn't take long!

Stewart Sullivan:
Right now I'd trade all this for one good REASON.

Annabelle Hurst:
Well, if you want wild guesses, why don't you try Jason, that's his department!

Jason King:
Whenever I feel the urge to exercise, I lie down until it passes.

Jason King:
Remember, in D.D.D., Mark Caine...

Stewart Sullivan:
D.D.D.?

Jason King:
Dead Dames Don't

Stewart Sullivan:
Don't what?

Sir Curtis Seretse:
[about the Mark Caine novels] What was it, translated into 18 languages, and 60 million copies sold?

Stewart Sullivan:
Or was it the other way around?

Stewart Sullivan:
7 hours on a B-52 bomber, 9 hours on an RAF bomber, and 3 more in a Russian helicopter - gives a man a new slant on comfort!

[a photographer is taking publicity photographs of Jason King, dressed in open-necked shirt and shorts against a background of fake jungle, to accompany Jason's latest novel. A bikini-clad young woman is standing next to Jason]

The Photographer:
Closer! Now, bare your chest!

[the woman turns towards the camera and shows off her b*obs]

The Photographer:
No! Jason!

Stewart Sullivan:
[when Annabelle shows him pictures of some thugs] I bet they do a good deed every day!

Stewart Sullivan:
[when unexpectedly meeting Sir Curtis in a casino] Are you checking up on me?

Sir Curtis Seretse:
No, at least no more than usual... No doubt I'll read all about this when I get your department's expenditure accounts?

Stewart Sullivan:
Oh, don't worry. I STOLE the money.

Stewart Sullivan:
[telling Annabelle what to feed into the computer] We're looking for an outfit working on remote control systems, probably under contract, with connections in Spain.

Annabelle Hurst:
You wouldn't like their horoscopes as well, would you?

Stewart Sullivan:
Well, if you insist.

Stewart Sullivan:
[after Jason was shot in the leg] Are you all right?

Jason King:
I'm in agony - my trousers are ruined!

Stewart Sullivan:
You are all right.