Devil's Advocate

John Milton:
A woman's shoulders are the front lines of her mystique, and her neck, if she's alive, has all the mystery of a border town. A no-man's land in that battle between the mind and the body.

John Milton:
Who, in their right mind Kevin, could possibly deny the twentieth century was entirely mine.

Kevin Lomax:
"Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven", is that it?

John Milton:
Why not? I'm here on the ground with my nose in it since the whole thing began. I've nurtured every sensation man's been inspired to have. I cared about what he wanted and I never judged him. Why? Because I never rejected him, in spite of all his imperfections. I'm a fan of man. I'm a humanist. Maybe the last humanist.

John Milton:
Don't get too cocky my boy. No matter how good you are don't ever let them see you coming. That's the gaffe my friend. You gotta keep yourself small. Innocuous. Be the little guy. You know, the nerd... the leper... sh*t-kickin' surfer. Look at me.

John Milton:
Underestimated from day one. You'd never think I was a master of the universe, now would ya?

Kevin Lomax:
Is this a test?

Pam:
Isn't everything?

John Milton:
Are we negotiating?

Kevin Lomax:
Always.

John Milton:
Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts. He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does He do, I swear for His own amusement, his own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. Ahaha. And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is he doing? He's laughin' His sick, f***in' ass off. He's a tight-ass. He's a sadist. He's an absentee landlord. Worship that? Never.

John Milton:
Freedom, baby... is never having to say you're sorry.

John Milton:
Guilt is like a bag of f***in' bricks. All ya gotta do is set it down.

Kevin Lomax:
What about love?

John Milton:
Overrated. Biochemically no different than eating large quantities of chocolate.

John Milton:
The worst vice is advice.

John Milton:
Vanity, definitely my favorite sin.

Mary Ann Lomax:
I know we've got all this money, and it's supposed to be OK, but it's not.

John Milton:
You sharpen the human appetite to the point where it can split atoms with its desire; you build egos the size of cathedrals; fiber-optically connect the world to every eager impulse; grease even the dullest dreams with these dollar-green, gold-plated fantasies, until every human becomes an aspiring emperor, becomes his own God... and where can you go from there?

John Milton:
Free will, it is a b*tch.

Alice Lomax:
Let me tell you about New York.

Kevin Lomax:
Let me guess.

Alice Lomax:
Fallen, fallen, is Babylon the great. It has become a dwelling place of demons." Revelation 18. Wouldn't hurt you to look it over.

Kevin Lomax:
Couldn't forget it if I tried.

Alice Lomax:
Oh, really? And what *happened* to Babylon?

John Milton:
Look at me - underestimated from Day One. You'd never think I was a master of the universe, now, would you?

John Milton:
I'm the hand up Mona Lisa's skirt. I'm a surprise, Kevin. They don't see me coming: that's what you're missing.

John Milton:
It's your wife, man. She's sick, she needs you... she's got to come first. Ah, wait a minute, wait a minute. You mean the possibility of leaving this case has never even entered you mind?

Kevin Lomax:
You know what scares me? I quit the case, she gets better... and I hate her for it. I don't want to resent her, John, I've got a winner here. I've got to nail this f***er down, do it fast, and put it behind me. Just get it done. Then - then. - put all my energy into her.

John Milton:
I stand corrected.

Kevin Lomax:
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I know you've spent all morning listening to Mr. Broygo talk; I know you're hungry; what I need to tell you won't take very long at all. I don't like Alexander Cullen. I don't think he's a nice person. I don't expect you to like him. He's been a terrible husband to all three of his wives; he's been a destructive force in the lives of his stepchildren; he's cheated the city, his partners, his employees... So I don't like him. I'm going to tell you some things during the course of this trial that are going to make you like him even less. But this isn't a popularity contest; it's a murder trial.

John Milton:
And as we're straddling from one deal to the next, who's got his eye on the planet, as the air thickens, the water sours, and even the bees' honey takes on the metallic taste of radioactivity? And it just keeps coming, faster and faster. There's no chance to think, to prepare; it's buy futures, sell futures, when there is no future.

John Milton:
Free will. It's like butterfly wings: once touched, they never get off the ground. No, I only set the stage. You pull your own strings.

Kevin Lomax:
What are you?

John Milton:
Oh, I have so many names...

Kevin Lomax:
Satan.

John Milton:
Call me Dad.

Alice Lomax:
Behold I send you out as sheep amidst the wolves.

Kevin Lomax:
In the Bible you loose. We're destined to lose dad.

John Milton:
Well consider the source son.

Kevin Lomax:
Lose? I don't lose! I win! I'm a lawyer, that's my job, that's what I do!

John Milton:
I rest my case.

John Milton:
What about you? Your family, you gotta miss 'em.

John Milton:
No?

Mary Ann Lomax:
I told Kevin the only thing worse than not having a father was having mine.

John Milton:
I can relate. I can, believe me.

Kevin Lomax:
God damnit, what did you do to my wife?

John Milton:
Well, on a scale of one to ten... ten being the most depraved act of sexual theatre know to man... one being your average Friday night run-through at the Lomaxes' household... I'd say, not to be immodest, Mary Ann and I got it on at about... seven.

John Milton:
There's this beautiful girl just f***ed me forty ways from Sunday... we're done, she's walking to the bathroom, she's trying to walk, she turns... she looks... it's me. Not the Trojan army just f***ed her. Little ol' me. She gets this look on her face like: "How the hell did that happen?"

John Milton:
Are we treating you good.

Kevin Lomax:
Yeah, everything's been great.

John Milton:
We kill you with kindness, that's our secret

Mary Ann Lomax:
Say I can handle it.

Kevin Lomax:
You can handle it.

Mary Ann Lomax:
Say something nice.

Kevin Lomax:
Something nice.