Doctor Dolittle

Polynesia:
I speak over two thousand languages, including Dodo and Unicorn. I had a classical education.

Emma Fairfax:
I promise to ask for no special privileges.

Dr. Dolittle:
I promise to grant none

Emma Fairfax:
If I were his nephew instead of his niece...

Dr. Dolittle:
If you were his nephew, you'd hardly be called Emma Fairfax.

Dr. Dolittle:
If one place is as good as any other, it's high time we decided. Otherwise when we get there, we won't know we've arrived.

Dr. Dolittle:
Oh it's from Long Arrow.

Matthew:
Who's he when he's at home?

Dr. Dolittle:
An old friend of mine. He's a Red Indian gentleman.

Matthew:
With a name like "Long Arrow" I didn't think he'd be Irish.

Tommy Stubbins:
I was thinking, that if you sold your fish barrow and I sold my grandfather's watch, we could buy a boat and go to China!

Matthew Mugg:
Oh, you're the middle of two ends of a fine fella, Tom, and it's a beautiful proposition. But, don't you see the problem?

Tommy Stubbins:
What's that?

Matthew Mugg:
Well, do you speak Chinese?

Tommy Stubbins:
No.

Matthew Mugg:
Then if you sell your grandfather's watch and we go to China, how are you going to tell the time?

Tommy Stubbins:
I never thought of that.

Matthew Mugg:
Aw, well now, you see, you have to plan ahead! It's very important. I mean, the whole secret of my success with the fish barrow was years of planning ahead.

Tommy Stubbins:
Who is John Dolittle?

Matthew Mugg:
John Dolittle is the greatest animal doctor in the world today and a close personal friend of Matthew Mugg. Lives right here in Puddleby, he does, out in the Ox and Hog Road.

Tommy Stubbins:
What does he do?

Matthew Mugg:
He's a genius, that's what he does. He can talk to animals.

Tommy Stubbins:
Talk to them?

Matthew Mugg:
Speaks their language, he does. Just like you and me's chattin' now.

Dr. Dolittle:
I've come to the conclusion, with the possible exception of yourself, I have nothing in common with the human race.

Matthew Mugg:
You know, the trouble with you Doctor Dolittle, is you prefer animals to people.

Dr. Dolittle:
But, animals are so much more fun than people!

Emma Fairfax:
Don't keep interrupting me!

Dr. Dolittle:
I'm sorry. What did you wish to say?

Emma Fairfax:
Oh, I've forgotten!

Dr. Dolittle:
Very well. Furthermore, I would deem it a favor if, in the future, you and your bloodthirsty relatives would avoid coming here and upsetting the animals.

Emma Fairfax:
In any case, I find it hard to believe that a grown man can waste his entire life playing with animals, in the first place.

Dr. Dolittle:
And I, madame, find it equally hard to believe that a grown woman would spend her entire life doing absolutely nothing.

Emma Fairfax:
Well, where are we going?

Tommy Stubbins:
To hunt for the great pink sea snail.

Emma Fairfax:
And where do you expect to find it?

Dr. Dolittle:
I haven't the faintest idea. But, as one place is as good as another, it is high time we decided. Otherwise, when we get there, we won't know we've arrived.

Matthew Mugg:
Good thinking, Doctor.

Emma Fairfax:
I promise to ask for no special privileges.

Dr. Dolittle:
I promise to grant none. The ship has no place for woman.

Emma Fairfax:
Well, the simple answer then is to treat me like a man.

Dr. Dolittle:
I intend to.

Dr. Dolittle:
[consulting a medical book] This fellow obviously knows what he's talking about.

Matthew Mugg:
Who wrote the book, Doctor?

Dr. Dolittle:
[suddenly realizing] Er... oh, I did.

Emma Fairfax:
What are you trying to say?

Dr. Dolittle:
What?

Emma Fairfax:
I mean, why don't you say what you mean?

Dr. Dolittle:
What do you mean, say what I mean?

Emma Fairfax: [singing] For a month or more I have listened and dreamed While the moon has glistened and a million stars have gleamed. Waiting.

Dr. Dolittle:
Waiting?

Emma Fairfax:
Waiting.

Dr. Dolittle:
What for?

Emma Fairfax: What for?! [singing] For a man I know who is clever and kind But a man who never, ever seems to know his mind Waiting Waiting Waiting for you to say you like me Or hate me Or miss me Or kiss me Or something But nothing! Nothing do you say at all! Little wonder I feel sorely Neglected Unwanted Rejected And small Little more than two feet tall!

Tommy Stubbins:
What do you want us to do? Go to the North Pole?

Dr. Dolittle:
Unfortunately, there isn't time. It isn't pleasant up there.

Tommy Stubbins:
But, the North Pole hasn't been discovered yet?

Dr. Dolittle:
Not officially. And I never say anything about it; because, I promised the polar bears I wouldn't.

Dr. Dolittle:
Anyway, we're all safe. That's the main thing. At least, we will be as soon as we find Miss Fairfax.

Matthew Mugg:
Poor Fred.

Dr. Dolittle:
I said all along a ship was no place for a woman. Heaven knows I did my best to make the voyage pleasant for her. You can't spend your life running after a woman, waiting on her hand and foot, when there's important work to be done. I think under the circumstances, I treated her very well. Probably, too well. I spoiled her, in fact. I tied her very securely to that raft. I hope she's alright, that's all.

Emma Fairfax:
Saved all your books, I see.

Dr. Dolittle:
Yes, most fortunate.

Emma Fairfax:
Lost all my dresses!

Dr. Dolittle:
Eh, yes, most unfortunate. I saw your trunk floating amongst the wreckage. However, that outfit you're wearing this morning is the nicest thing I've seen you in since you left England.

Emma Fairfax:
This is my underwear!

Dr. Dolittle:
Oh. Anyway, it suits you.

Dr. Dolittle:
I think I'll start planning my next voyage.

Emma Fairfax:
Where are you going this time? The moon?

Dr. Dolittle:
Very, probably, yes.

Emma Fairfax:
You're not serious?

Dr. Dolittle:
Oh, yes!

Emma Fairfax:
How?

Dr. Dolittle:
On the giant lunar moth! Magnificent creature. He flies backwards and forth every year to the moon. When it reaches one, it is attracted by the light of the other, and flies back again! Willie tells me there's one on the island. Now, my idea is to build some kind of saddle arrangement, very secure, so I don't fall off half way.

Emma Fairfax:
Can I come?

Dr. John Dolittle:
Did you know that an ant has more intelligence than a hippopotamus? And that a grasshopper, in relation to his size, has more power in his hind legs than a kangaroo. Absolutely, fascinating! There's no doubt about it, animals are much more interesting than people.

Dr. John Dolittle: [singing] I do not understand the human race Has so little love for creatures with a different face. Treating animals like people is no madness or disgrace. I do not understand the human race.

Dr. John Dolittle:
We'll play a little game I invented. One of us opens the atlas at random, sticks a pin in the open page, wherever it lands, that's where we go.

Dr. John Dolittle:
[about learning goldfish] These fish languages, they really only work underwater. It's fascinating! The basic system is mouth movements and bubbles signals. At the moment, I can only make big bubbles and they keep on telling me I'm shouting.

Dr. John Dolittle: [singing] Well, it's true We do not live in a zoo But Man is an animal too. So why can't you, like me Like animals?

Matthew Mugg:
You know, bein' is prison is much the same as being on a boat. Except in prison there's less chance of drowning.

Matthew Mugg:
You should never believe anybody who goes around telling the truth. They're not to be trusted.