Dream Team

Billy:
You guys need to pay up and get out of here.

Billy:
I'm an escaped mental patient with a history of violence.

Billy:
Yeah, I got a big story for ya'; we came to town to see a ball game, and now they wanna give us the chair. I love New York. Bring your kids. Have 'em arrested. Do some time in The Big Apple.

Jack McDermott:
This is the body and blood of our savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. And a damned fine Beaujolais!

Jack McDermott:
I don't want him next to me. He smells like tuna fish.

Billy:
Ah, it's great to be young and insane!

Billy:
Restaurant security. Just a minor utensil violation. Go ahead, enjoy your dinner.

Dr. Weitzman:
There's about 65,000 seats up at that stadium. But I don't want you to get your hopes up, because they're all screwed down.

Jack McDermott:
I am the Lord they God. Thou shalt not have strange gods before Me. Out of my way, a**hole.

Henry:
The doctor will be back soon. We're on a very tight schedule.

Billy:
How do you like the game so far? I'm having a ball. Great seats huh guys? it's funny the hot dog guy hasn't been around.

Jack McDermott:
What about dinner? Who's gonna get us our dinner?

Billy:
"Who's gonna get us our..." aren't you the same guy who changed water into wine? Huh? J.C.? Ain't the son of God good for a burger in his town? You get us something!

Jack McDermott:
That's not funny. You're a very disturbed young man.

Billy:
Man you don't know how disturbed I am.

Sergeant Vincente:
You know what? You got the whole think back-ass-wards, I think you're the missing persons. Just go to 48th street and wait. The guy doesn't show, we're open 24 hours.

Sergeant Vincente:
Hello, Vincente.

Billy:
We're not done!

Sergeant Vincente:
You're done, it's been a pleasure.

Billy:
Hey, we used to be tax payers!

Sergeant Vincente:
Now that will get my attention. You're not out of here in 30 seconds, you got a night in jail!

Billy:
What kind of bonehead cop would send four confessed mental patients back out in the streets?

Billy:
Where the hell did you go to take that piss? Moscow?

Henry:
I'm the doctor until the doctor comes back!

Billy:
Okay, you be the doctor and I'll be the escaped mental patient, okay?

Henry:
Does this mean we are actually leaving the hospital grounds?

Billy:
No, the Yankees are going to come here and play. There gonna throw some lights up in the rec room. What a stroker.

Billy:
You guys see Wolfen? They filmed it down here. You know, the movie about those gigantic wolves that come out at night. They eat people and rip their guts open, man, got kinda sh*t hangin' out of their mouths and stuff. And they would live for an hour or so, just lay there twitching and stuff. They filmed it here because this is exactlly where it happened. It's a true story.

Henry:
10 minutes and 47 seconds, Mr. Caufield. Boy, some patients make a therapist want to shake his head.

Henry:
Straighten out that chair!

Billy:
Henry, imagine this: my chair is straight and all the other chairs are out of order. There's a real mind-bender for you there.

Jack:
Great! Breakfast. I'm starved.

Henry:
That's not ours. That's Ed's.

Jack:
Did Ed make the sun shine? Did Ed make the wheat grow?

Henry:
I don't know the man.

Billy:
You're busting my balls.

Jack:
I fear my doctor may have been seized by the Romans!

Henry:
Hey guys, time for a hug?

Jack:
I don't think so.

Billy:
Maybe after the game.

Albert:
Play ball!

Dr. Weitzman:
Hey Billy, we gotta go. Are you sure you can drive this thing?

Billy:
Are you kidding? I finished second at Daytona.

Billy:
Now I've played some of the top Chinese guys, and I tell ya if you ever whip up a serve to go along with that backhand... it's gonna be a dark day in Peking, babe!

Gianelli:
I'll shoot the girl.

Billy:
Go ahead. I got lot's of girlfriends.

Gianelli:
I'm a police officer. Drop the gun!

Billy:
I'm a mental patient. I'm not impressed.

Gianelli:
You're not this crazy, are you?

Billy:
Actually, this is my idea of a good time.

Billy:
Does Ed go out the window? Let's have a show of hands.

Billy:
You can vote too, it's America.

Dr. Verboven:
Jack, Jesus Christ would never point a gun at another human being.

Jack McDermott:
Stay out of my psychosis! Now get your ass in that van.

Dr. Weitzman:
Henry, the kitchen made us some brownies. I'd like you to be in charge of passing them out.

Henry:
Okay,

Henry:
but none for the bishop of bullshit.

Billy:
We're a special combat unit looking for some Libyan terrorists. In fact, I think we have them cornered at a bagel shop across the street. Now if we could just get some pants for the colonel.

Bernie:
Give me a break.

Billy:
Alright, we're four escaped lunatics.

Bernie:
This I believe.

Billy:
You probably want us out of here as quickly as possible, right?

Bernie:
I'm prepared to carry you in my arms.

Henry:
Can you recommend a good clinical psychiatrist in the area? We seem to have lost ours.

Billy:
Albert, you step on my foot one more time and I'll kill you.

Albert:
Kill the ump!

Jack:
Why does a grown man have to smell like tuna fish?

Billy:
We gotta come up with $165, get the van and pull Weitzman out of the hospital before those two goddamn cops come back. Now how's that for a goal?

Jack:
Us? But we're crazy.

Billy:
Yeah? Well we better get sane real goddamn fast.

Billy:
Can we go now?

Dr. Weitzman:
Billy, every week you get up and say, "Can we go now?" And every week I tell you we haven't heard from Albert yet.

Billy:
Nobody's ever heard from Albert. I've had better conversations with cheese.

Billy:
You see those two towers? World Trade Center. I was an architect working on them. First they just wanted to build one but I said, "Fellas, we're here. What the hell, throw the other one up".

Henry:
Fantasy.

Billy:
Look, I don't think I'm Elvis, alright? I don't carry on conversations with my dog, I don't put on a dress and dance around Times Square.

Billy:
I just want you guys to believe me. They're two cops and they can come back at any tie.

Billy:
Actually, I lied. Once I did put on a dress and dance around Times Square, but I was with Elvis. My dog told me to do it so you can't really blame me, can you?

Henry:
Jerry, I need two Rum Collins, two Jack Daniels, one on the rocks, and a Heineken. Please.

Jack:
You told me you played for the New York Rangers.

Billy:
Are you saying I didn't?

Dr. Weitzman:
Attacking a referee on the ice doesn't make you a hockey player either.

Billy:
That guy had no right to be an NHL referee!

Dr. Weitzman:
Although it did get you into our little group, didn't it?

Jack:
I was pulling down a hundred big ones a year while you and Satan were chasing Daryl Hannah!

Jack:
You two should be cast into the outer darkness. The rec hall will look pretty damn good from the bowels of Hell.

Billy:
I got news for you. You're gonna be the first Supreme Being EVER TO MAKE A LICENSE PLATE!

Jack:
Hey Murray, congratulations. Benson called while I was in there. You got the Natachi account.

Murray:
We got it? Really, we got it?

Murray:
We got the Natachi account! We got the Natachi account.

Jack:
Hey Murray, just kidding! Wah wah wah wah.

Billy:
We're gonna have to search all these hospitals ourselves.

Henry:
That's public property.

Billy:
Yeah? Watch this: public property...

Billy:
Private property.

Henry:
Vandal.