Driller Killer

Reno Miller:
Holy Christ! What is this? They send us the bill to Madison Square Garden? What are they kidding me, man? How the hell are we supposed to pay this bill? What is this? The bill for three months?

Carol:
That's the bill for one month.

Reno Miller:
Christ, what have we got here? A refrigerator, a couple of lights?

Reno Miller:
Let's see here, telephone. Oh no! Houston, Texas?

Pamela:
My mother.

Reno Miller:
Look at this, L.A. $1.50... $2.75... $7.50.

Carol:
Yeah, they're mine.

Reno Miller:
You talked to L.A. one time for two hours and 10 minutes? What are you, out of your mind? Are you crazy? What's this? Philadelphia?

Pamela:
My sister.

Reno Miller:
Miami?

Carol:
That's mine.

Reno Miller:
Trenton, New Jersey... Queens... wait, isn't Queens a local call?

Reno Miller:
Look, I can't even think with these guys playing that music in the place below mine. It's like they play all day and all night. They don't quit for a minute. Hell, they don't even stop to go to the bathroom!

Landlord:
It's not my problem. It's your problem.

Reno Miller:
What do you mean it's my problem? You're the super around here. It's your job to keep this place quiet.

Landlord:
My job? It's not my job. Besides, they don't bother me.

Reno Miller:
What do you mean? Why should they bother you? Look what the hell you're doing, fixing spark plugs. Nighttime comes you just sit around your place drinking a few beers, watching TV. Me, I've gotta work. I've got a painting due. I can't work with those guys playing that loud music.

Landlord:
Look, I can work. But I'm not gonna say anything to them because they don't bother me.

Reno Miller:
Hey, I'm not kidding here. You either tell those cats to keep it quiet, get rid of them, or I'm not paying the rent!

Landlord:
What do you mean you won't pay the rent? Buddy, you don't pay the rent anyway! That's why you bother me all the time, and they don't.

Pamela:
Hey, while I was in the pizza parlor, this creepy old man came up to me and said, "sweetie, you don't have to kiss to make babies." So, I waited until it was about time to leave with the pizza, so I walked right up to him and said out loud, "I know, but you still gotta f***!"