Dungeons & Dragons

Snails:
I've got a new word for "stupid" now: "Ridley"! This is the Ridleyest thing I've ever heard!

Snails:
Why don't we just rob God while we're up here.

Ridley:
I thought you said this was going to be easy.

Snails:
No, I said it wasn't impossible.

Ridley:
See that's the same thing you said when we robbed that halfling's house.

Ridley:
And who did he catch? Me. And who did he beat from the waist down? Me.

Snails:
Are you gonna jump?

Ridley:
You gonna catch me?

Snails:
I'm gonna catch you.

Snails:
Promise?

Ridley:
I promise. Now jump.

Snails:
All right.

Ridley:
Sorry, I though I heard something.

Snails:
You did. Me hitting the ground.

Snails:
She must've put some kind of holding spell into that bracelet.

Ridley:
Yeah, must be the only way she can get guys to come home with her.

Marina Pretensa:
I'll have to put a feeble mind spell on myself to want to take you home.

Ridley:
Yeah well, have you ever heard of honor amongst thieves? We might live outside the law but we respect each other.

Xilus:
So, why don't you give what's rightfully mine? Hmm?

Ridley:
What about honor amongst thieves?

Xilus:
Oh, what a romantic notion. Do you honestly believe that I could've amass the wealth that I have if I worried about honor? Ooh, no, no, no, no, no, tisk, tisk, tisk. So, pretty boy, if you don't want Hugo over here to come rearrange your features for you, I suggest you just give it up.

Elwood:
If I ain't drinking, you sure ain't shopping.

Ridley:
We gotta save Marina.

Snails:
Wait. What about the dwarf?

Ridley:
You get the dwarf. I get the girl.

Snails:
Wait, how come I always got to get the dwarf?

Norda:
How old are you?

Snails:
Twenty-three. Yeah, I know I'm a little young for you, but what if I get my hnds on an aging potion, huh? I'll sacrifice a couple of years for you.

Norda:
I'm two hundred and thirty-four.

Ridley:
Oh look, I've cut you. What a shame.

Damodar:
Just like you thieves, always taking things that don't belong to you.

Marina:
I'm an aristocrat! A mage!

Ridley:
A low level mage; completely expendable...

Profion:
Not so talented eh, Mr Ridley!

Ridley:
Alanor, salah, bedara!

Ridley:
Can't blame me for trying. At least I...

Snails:
Woo hoo! I knew that boy had talent!

Elwood:
She's too skinny lad! What you need is a good dwarven woman... with a beard you CAN HANG ON TOO! AHAHAH!