Easy to Wed

Warren Haggerty:
Do you want me to kill myself, Gladys?

Gladys Benton:
Not until you change your insurance.

William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler:
You're too modest. Why, you're a woman of great depths, depths that have never been plumbed.

Gladys Benton:
[referring to her boyfriend] No, Warren's not much of a plumber.

William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler:
[referring to the sham wedding just performed] How much do i owe you?

Mr. H.O. Dibson - Justice of the Peace:
Well, anything you think it's worth.

William Stevens 'Bill' Chandler:
[handing the Justice money] There's two dollars. [to which Gladys looks outraged, then disgusted]