Entry Level

Clay:
[first lines - about his panhandling] You're in the wrong business Nick.

Nick:
Oh I'm not in it for the money, just the prestige.

Clay:
It's a pleasure to watch you eat.

Nick:
We can't steer the world, Clay. Just sometimes if we're lucky we get to steer ourselves.

Charlie:
[with growing agitation] Let me tell you something, this company is run by serial killers and ass whores. The 5 regional sales managers each have an assistant whose job is to perform fellatio. The CEO has a policy of randomly firing one person a week to keep the rest of us on our toes. Our primary product caused 12 fatalities last year, but the actuaries calculated that a law suit is $1 cheaper than a recall; guess which one they chose. I feel guilty every time I bring a new schmuck into this company. And you want to know how I decide who I will hire? I hire the person that I hate the most, because I believe that working in the company should be a form of punishment for 8-time drunk drivers, and priests who molest alter boys.

Clay:
Okay, so is the shipping and receiving position still open?

Charlie:
So you were talking about the milk of human kindness? Uh uh. My friend, that is how it is all over the world. All over the world...

Clay:
Guys, what do you think? You agree with this?

Liz:
Well if you call France, England, Spain, Portugal, Luxembourg, Lichtenstein, Sweden, Germany, Austria, Italy, Switzerland, Turkey, Indian, Nepal, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Turkmenistan, China, Japan, South Korea, Burma, Vietnam, Nepal, Fiji, Mexico, Panama, Uruguay, Paraguay, Chili, Argentina, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Togo, Tuvalu, and Kiribati a lot of places.

Bob:
Kiribati?

Liz:
Look it up.

Charlie:
You forgot Canada.

Liz:
Canada's not a real country.

Clay:
Everything involves risk and I'd rather risk something I care about.