Every Which Way She Can

[first lines]

Clit:
[in voiceover] The name's Westwood, Clit Westwood, and aside from having the best ass this side of the Old Testament, I happen to be a good ol' girl who likes to have a good ol' time. What I do for a living isn't important. Let's just say I do what I have to... and I do it good. I get by. You know what I mean? The real me comes to life on the weekend, and this particular Friday night, not long ago, was the beginning of a night I'll never forget.

Clit:
[in voiceover] A country singer once told me, "You gotta sell the sizzle if you want 'em to buy the steak". And I'm a big believer in packaging. When I put it together, I know it's together, honey.

Clit:
[in voiceover] I like goin' to the LC 'cause there's always somethin' happenin'. Me and Clydie showed up about nine o'clock and things were already startin' to click pretty good. I took a quick look around, tryin' to separate the shitkickers from the shitheads. Life's too short to get stuck with a tourist. Know what I mean?

Clit:
[in voiceover] Going down. Damn, I love a lady who knows what she wants, and Randy does. Holy Hoot Gibson, if the first Adam had been hung like that Eve would have never thought of sinking her teeth into an apple.

Clit:
[in voiceover] This girl really knows how to sell sunroofs, and get a load of those designer jeans. Brooke Shields, watch out.

Biker 1:
I'm comin' back, and when I do I'm gonna make monkeys jump outta your ass.

Waitress:
Can I give you a hand, or a mouth, or both?

[last lines]

Clit:
Clydie!