Everybody Wants Some!!

Roper:
Look at what we have here! Hey, ladies! Party later tonight at the baseball houses.

Bev's Friend:
You should be investing this energy elsewhere.

Roper and Finn:
[together] Lesbians.

Beverly:
I like the quiet guy in the back seat.

Roper:
Whoop, there's nothing here.

Jake:
I can see how that would be threatening, new guy coming in getting all the ladies... That was a joke.

Plummer:
I've got your joke right here.

Finn:
Did he just call his dick a joke?

Dale:
That's what he implied.

Roper:
We have a little tradition welcoming the new guys.

Everyone:
[to the freshman, taped up onto a wall] Freshman batting practice!

Plummer:
Welcome to the big time, boys.

Willoughby:
[while smoking pot] It's about finding out who you are. You gotta tune in, man. You guys want to try a little telepathic stuff?

Dale:
Let's do it.

Willoughby:
Okay, what am I thinking about?

Dale:
Baseball

Plummer:
Having a tail.

Jake:
Cereal.

Willoughby:
I was thinking about sharks.

Plummer:
Sharks have tails.

Willoughby:
Good point, that's a good point.

Coma:
I wish I had a tail. That'd be awesome.

Jake:
I'm starting to have an identity crisis. We danced out of disco, danced to Cotton-Eyed Joe in shitkicker attire, here we are, punks for a night.

Willoughby:
You gotta f***ing embrace your inner strange, man. Just be f***ing weird, you know?

Beverly:
How did you know what room I was in?

Jake:
I'm an investigative journalism major.

Beverly:
So, I guess you know my name then.

Jake:
Yes, as soon as you tell me.

Finnegan:
It's all so damn tribal. That's the pack mentality, all the adrenaline.

Jake:
Does that mean you're not going?

Finnegan:
I didn't say that.

Beverly:
It's kind of beautiful, isn't it?

Jake:
What?

Beverly:
That we get to feel passion in this world, you know about anything.

Jake:
The gods intend Sisyphus to suffer, right?

[Beverly nods]

Jake:
Well, my point was that they'd actually blessed him with something to focus on, something that he could potentially find meaning in. It's a gift to be striving at all, even if it looks futile to others. I mean, yeah, it's ridiculous to roll a boulder up a mountain over and over and over again, but so is everything else in life.

Finnegan:
Have you noticed whenever we're around baseball all we talk about is p*ssy. Now, we're actually around a few potentially interesting young women, all you talk about is baseball. It's a little f***ed up!

Finnegan:
That just went from cute to restraining order.

Finnegan:
Everything around here is a competition. You get a bunch of competitors together and you are addicted to winning.

Charlie Willoughby:
The trick is, you can’t fight it.You gotta accept it. You gotta f***ing embrace your inner f***ing strange, man.Just be f***ing weird, you know? And when you do that, you bring who you are, never who they want.And that, my friend, is when it gets fun.

Charlie Willoughby:
We came for a good time, not for a long time.

Charlie Willoughby:
Don't be afraid to let the experience find you.

Beverly:
Things only mean as much as the meaningfulness that we allow them to have.

Glen Mcreynolds:
[about practice] Voluntary means mandatory.

Dale Douglas:
This ain't high school, man. This is a new level. You have not earned teammate status yet...And until you do, you're nobody.

Jay:
I'm too f***in' philosophical for this sh*t!