FDR: American Badass!

Abraham Lincoln:
Emancipate that ass.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt:
Does my cock still work?

Franklin Delano Roosevelt:
MOTHERF***ERRR!

Franklin Delano Roosevelt:
F*** Polio!

Franklin Delano Roosevelt:
Aw, sh*t Goblins!

Senator Bronson:
Why me? I'm fat and weak.

Louis:
Probably for exactly that reason.

Louis:
How are you feeling, Frank?

Franklin Delano Roosevelt:
Like a bag full of d*cks at a lesbian convention.

Dr. Ellington:
There's something I need to show you.

Louis:
Do NOT grab your dick and ask me to guess the temperature!

Reporter Robert Bruckner:
What was it like being attacked by a werewolf, Governor?

Franklin Delano Roosevelt:
About the same as having your money in the stock market these days.

Louis:
Did you debrief him?

Eleanor Roosevelt:
Yes.

Louis:
Cool. I hate when I have to take his boxers off.

Louis:
Here's the paper, by the way.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt:
Thank you. Let's see... Oh, American hero and werewolf killer... Franklin Delano announces he's running for President... Thank you, Mmm-hmm... I hope it mentions something about my cock still working.

Louis:
No.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt:
Well, sh*t, call them up! I want a press release first thing in the morning.

Louis:
Before we do that...

Franklin Delano Roosevelt:
Let's leak them a picture, too.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt:
Beautiful melons, Ma'am.

Marietta Buford:
They sure are ripe for the picking!

Franklin Delano Roosevelt:
I meant your tits.

Marietta Buford:
So did I.

Cleavon Buford:
Congressman Cleavon Baybridge Buford... 'Repube,' Georgia.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt:
Nice to meet you.

Cleavon Buford:
Yes, you too.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt:
Did you just say 'Repube?'

Cleavon Buford:
Mmm-hmm... yes, sir.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt:
You mean Republican?

Cleavon Buford:
No, sir. The form I filled out when I ran for Congress said 'Repube' on it. It was a professional form, sir. It was typed on paper... maybe even double spaced.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt:
I think you meant 'Repub,' short for Republican.

Cleavon Buford:
No, sir! I saved the form, sir. It is inside a folder marked official on it, so I know that it is real.

Cleavon Buford:
My cousin... wife is excellent at entertaining guests.

Guy on dock:
Yeah, keep laughin', boys... You think God blessed Tommy?

Franklin Delano Roosevelt:
Hold on a minute, fellas. Who's Tommy?

Guy on dock:
Tommy? Tommy used to work on the docks... Union's been on strike... Down on his luck... It's tough...

Franklin Delano Roosevelt:
Sooo tough.