Fiddler on the Roof

Tevye:
As the good book says, when a poor man eats a chicken, one of them is sick.

Mendel:
Where does the book say that?

Tevye:
Well, it doesn't say that exactly, but somewhere there is something about a chicken.

Perchik:
In this world it is the wealthy who are criminals. Someday their wealth will be ours.

Tevye:
That would be nice. If they would agree, I would agree.

Tevye:
As Abraham said, "I am a stranger in a strange land..."

Rabbi's Son:
Moses said that.

Tevye:
Ah. Well, as King David said, "I am slow of speech, and slow of tongue."

Rabbi's Son:
That was also Moses.

Tevye:
For a man who was slow of speech he talked a lot.

Tzeitel:
But Mama, the men she finds. The last one was so old and he was bald. He had no hair.

Golde:
A poor girl without a dowry can't be so particular. You want hair, marry a monkey.

Perchik:
Money is the world's curse.

Tevye:
May the Lord smite me with it. And may I never recover.

Golde:
Grandmother Tzeitel. How did she look?

Tevye:
For a woman who has been dead for thirty years she looked pretty well.

Tevye:
As the good book says, if you spit in the air, it lands in your face.

Tevye:
I know, I know. We are Your chosen people. But, once in a while, can't You choose someone else?

Motel:
Even a poor tailor deserves some happiness.

Hodel:
Papa, God alone knows when we shall see each other again.

Tevye:
Then we will leave it in His hands.

Tevye:
He loves her. Love, it's a new starting. On the other hand, our old ways were once new, weren't they? On the other hand, they decided without parents, without the matchmaker. On the other hand, did Adam and Eve have a matchmaker? Oh, yes they did. And it seems these two have the same Matchmaker.

Tevye:
Sometimes I wonder, when it gets too quiet up there, if You are thinking, "What kind of mischief can I play on My friend Tevye?"

Motel:
Times are changing, Reb Tevye. The thing is, over a year ago, your daughter, Tzeitel, and I gave each other our pledge that we would marry.

Tevye:
You gave each other a... pledge?

Tzeitel:
Yes, Papa. We gave each other our pledge.

Tevye:
And all this from killing innocent animals.

Lazar Wolf:
How is your brother-in-law? In America?

Tevye:
Oh, he's doing very well.

Lazar Wolf:
Oh, he wrote you?

Tevye:
No, not lately.

Lazar Wolf:
Then how do you know?

Tevye:
If he was doing badly, he would write.

Constable:
You're an honest, decent person. Even though you are a Jew.

Tevye:
Oh... THANK you, your honor. How often does a man get a compliment like that?

Lazar Wolf:
Have a drink?

Tevye:
I won't insult you by saying no.

Tevye:
As the good book says 'Each shall seek his own kind'. In other words a bird may love a fish but where would they build a home together?

Tevye:
When I get angry even flies don't dare to fly.

Mordcha:
If the rich could hire others to die for them we, the poor, would all make a nice living.

Perchik:
I'm a very good teacher.

Hodel:
I heard that the Rabbi who must congratulate himself has a congregation of one.

Motel:
Rabbi, we've been waiting for the Messiah all our lives. Wouldn't now be a good time for him to come?

Rabbi:
I guess we'll have to wait someplace else.

Tevye:
A fiddler on the roof. Sounds crazy, no? But here, in our little village of Anatevka, you might say every one of us is a fiddler on the roof trying to scratch out a pleasant, simple tune without breaking his neck. It isn't easy. You may ask 'Why do we stay up there if it's so dangerous?' Well, we stay because Anatevka is our home. And how do we keep our balance? That I can tell you in one word: tradition!

Tevye:
Traditions, traditions. Without our traditions our lives would be as shaky as... as a fiddler on the roof!

Tevye:
They gave each other a pledge? Unheard of. Absurd.

Perchik:
Your daughter has a quick and witty tongue.

Tevye:
Yes, the wit she gets from me, as the good book says...

Golde:
The good book can wait, it's time for Sabbath.

Tevye:
The tongue she gets from her mother.

Lazar Wolf:
We can fight to keep our home.

Constable:
Against our militia, our army? I highly advise against it.

Tevye:
I have some advice for you, get off my land. This is still my home, my land. Get off my land.

Tevye:
Where are you going?

Lazar Wolf:
Chicago. In America.

Tevye:
Chicago, America? We are going to New York, America. We'll be neighbors.

Perchik:
You'll all chatter yourselves away into the grave.

Yente:
The postman told me there was a letter for your sister, Hodel, from her incumbent, Perchik.

Tzeitel:
Oh, she'll be so happy to hear from him. I'll go and pick it up later.

Yente:
It's okay, I already picked it up.

Tzeitel:
But it's open.

Yente:
So it was open.

Tevye:
You may ask, how did this tradition get started? I'll tell you... I don't know.

Tevye:
Because of our traditions, we've kept our balance for many, many years. Here in Anatevka, we have traditions for everything... How to sleep, how to eat... how to work... how to wear clothes. For instance, we always keep our heads covered and always wear a little prayer shawl. This shows our constant devotion to God. You may ask, "How did this tradition get started?" I'll tell you.

Tevye:
I don't know. But it's a tradition... and because of our traditions... Every one of us knows who he is and what God expects him to do.

Tevye:
And in the circle of our little village, We've always had our special types. For instance, Yente the matchmaker, Reb Nachum the beggar... And most important of all, our beloved Rabbi.

Tevye:
Then there are the others in our village. They make a much bigger circle. We don't bother them, and so far, they don't bother us. And among ourselves, we always get along perfectly well. Of course, there was the time when he sold him a horse and told him it was only six years old, when it was really 12. But now, it's all over, and we live in simple peace and harmony.

Tevye:
All right children. Let's go.

Rabbi's Son:
She's dancing with a man!

Tevye:
I can SEE that she's dancing with a man!

Tevye:
And I'm going to dance with my wife!

Tevye:
Very good. That way the whole world will be blind and toothless.

Yente:
From such children come other children

Yente:
Ah, children, they are your blessing in your old age. But of course my Aaron couldn't give me children. Between you and me, Golde, he hardly tried.

Fruma Sarah:
How could you allow it, How? How could you let your daughter take my place? Live in my house, carry my keys, and wear my clothes, pearls, how?

Fruma Sarah:
Pearls!

Fruma Sarah:
Pearls!

Fruma Sarah:
Pearls!

Fruma Sarah:
Peeeeeearls!

Lazar Wolf:
How is it going with you, Reb Tevye?

Tevye:
How should it go?

Lazar Wolf:
You are right.

Tevye:
And you?

Lazar Wolf:
The same.

Tevye:
I'm sorry to hear that.

Motel:
I can help

Tevye:
Help. Like a bandage can help a cough.