Flambards

[talking about Dorothy, Sandy's fiance]

William Russell:
She's Sandy's.

Christina Parsons:
Oh, did Sandy win her in a raffle then?

[Christina has arrived at Flambards to live there; she is not being made to feel welcome.]

Mark Russell:
Good evening.

Christina Parsons:
Good evening.

Mark Russell:
Forgive the rudeness, but am I supposed to know who you are?

Christina Parsons:
I'm Christina.

Mark Russell:
Oh yes, good God, you're coming to live here or something, aren't you?

Christina Parsons:
Those were my instructions, yes.

[Mark takes a swig from a hip flask]

Christina Parsons:
You must be Mark.

Mark Russell:
Correct. Little brother William's upstairs - being put together again.

[Mark looks at Christina's clothes]

Mark Russell:
I get the impression you've dressed for dinner.

Christina Parsons:
More or less, yes. That's what I've always been taught to do.

Mark Russell:
Well just one thing - you'll probably have to get it ready yourself. You any good... with food?

Christina Parsons:
Yes I'm very good, but you'll have to show me where the kitchen is.

Mark Russell:
Oh, I didn't realise *I'd* have to do anything.

Christina Parsons:
I thought I'd take some food up to William.

Mark Russell:
[sarcastically] That's an original idea.

Uncle Russell:
What a funny girl you are, Christina. [to the doctor] Her mother was the same - used to think for herself. Very strange.

[Uncle Russell burned the book on aeronautics that Mr Dermot sent to William, and ordered him to read books on hunting instead. William has just thrown the hunting books out of the window in retaliation - to test the aerodynamics of a book!]

Uncle Russell:
[shouting] You did what?

William Russell:
[calmly] I threw them out of the window.

Uncle Russell:
[shouting] You threw them out of the window?

William Russell:
Yes. An eye for an eye, a book for a book.

Uncle Russell:
Come here, William.

William Russell:
No I will *not* come here.

Uncle Russell:
[snarls] By God you will do as I tell you!

Christina Parsons:
[to William] I think we should leave.

Uncle Russell:
Running away? Is that what you are doing?

William Russell:
Yes, I suppose so.

Uncle Russell:
Absolutely typical. Can't take your punishment like a man. Mark! Mark, where the devil are you?

Christina Parsons:
He's out hunting.

Uncle Russell:
Go on then, run away. I suppose you'll run off to see that aeroplane friend of yours. What's his name?

William Russell:
That's *my* secret.

Uncle Russell:
Well who does he think he is, anyway?

William Russell:
I'll tell you who he is. He's the man I go to for all the things you normally get from your father. *He's* my father - that's who he is. Come on Christina.

[speechless with rage, Uncle Russell glares at William and Christina as they walk out of the room]

[Mark bursts through the door and staggers drunkenly over to William's bed]

Mark Russell:
[slurs] Just popped in to say good night.

William Russell:
Good night then.

Mark Russell:
Good night.

[Mark walks over to Christina and glares down at her arrogantly]

Christina Parsons:
Good *night*!

[Mark laughs arrogantly as he walks out of the room]

Mark Russell:
You miserable lot.

[Mark has now gone]

William Russell:
Wilt thou, Christina Parsons, take that man to be thy lawful wedded husband?

Christina Parsons:
No, I will *not*!

Christina Parsons:
Sometimes, I hate you, Mark!

Mark Russell:
I don't care!

William Russell:
[tentatively] Well... if you're going to become the black sheep of the family...

[pause]

Christina Parsons:
[sighing] Yes?

William Russell:
[looking fixedly at Christina]... why not join the other one?