Folks!

Fred:
Hey, one-nut! Wanna beer?

Jon Aldrich:
You're not gonna kill yourself. I'll kill you if you kill yourself.

Harry Aldrich:
McDonnells!

Jon Aldrich:
Hungry, Pop?

Harry Aldrich:
Um, yeah.

Mildred Aldrich:
I'll put'im in the closet.

Audrey Aldrich:
Sara wouldn't like that.

Mildred Aldrich:
I meant Harry.

Harry Aldrich:
The mafia!

Jon Aldrich:
You let your patients smoke in here?

Taxi Driver:
My parents stay here too. They ain't never gonna die. It's the air conditioning. It's like they're in cold storage.

Jon Aldrich:
I wanna tell you something, Pop, I missed you.

Harry Aldrich:
You know I have to tell you something too. I don't know who the hell you are.

Jon Aldrich:
Sure you do.

Harry Aldrich:
No, I don't.

Jon Aldrich:
Still a kidder, aren't you Dad? It's me, Jon!

Harry Aldrich:
Jon? Jon! My boy!

Jon Aldrich:
This morning he named every member of his fighter squad like it was yesterday.

Mildred Aldrich:
1943 he remembers like it was yesterday. It's yesterday he can't remember like it was yesterday.

Jon Aldrich:
I remember this picture.

Harry Aldrich:
Oh yeah. Guy on the left had is Tom Hankerman, he flew 37 missions before going down over Okinawa.

Jon Aldrich:
Pop, you're putting your shorts on backwards.

Harry Aldrich:
Huh? Oh yeah. That guy there is Lenny Coleman. Lenny ran that little airfield I flew out of after the war.

Jon Aldrich:
Is that the place you took me to for my first ride?

Harry Aldrich:
Your mother too. And last ride for her!

Jon Aldrich:
Pop, you see much of Arlene?

Harry Aldrich:
Arlene?

Jon Aldrich:
Your loving daughter.

Harry Aldrich:
No.

Jon Aldrich:
Oh, Pop.

Jon Aldrich:
My father accidentally put the car in the wrong gear and then he accidentally got his foot stuck on the accelerator.

Arlene Aldrich:
I'm 35 years old, Jon!

Jon Aldrich:
You're not 35 years old, I'm 40 and you're older than I am!

Arlene Aldrich:
I'm 35! I'm got two obnoxious teenage boys and no husband. I have to compete with firm young women and there's only so much plastic surgery can do for me.

Arlene:
I'd have blown Hitler to get out of that house.

Harry Aldrich:
I'm happy.

Mildred Aldrich:
We're so disappointed, no one would kill us.

Harry Aldrich:
Don't worry, Lenny, the hook will catch the wire.

Jon Aldrich:
Thanks, Pop, I got one nut. Thank you very much!

Harry Aldrich:
You're welcome.

Jon Aldrich:
I'm perfect if anybody wants a one-balled, deaf, blind, unemployed vagrant with a limp.

Jon Aldrich:
Yes, I feel horrible.

Jon Aldrich:
Oh yeah, them too.

Jon Aldrich:
You work too hard, Ed. Get a girl.

Jon Aldrich:
Arlene Setters.

Jon Aldrich:
Well gee, I feel sorry for you, you back-stabbing pig!

Jon Aldrich:
What happened to your clothes?

Harry Aldrich:
The mob stole'em.

Fred:
Hey, ball sac, they're towing your car! What am I supposed to drive?

Audrey Aldrich:
What about your sister?

Jon Aldrich:
The b*tch?

Jon Aldrich:
That's it, Arlene, I am retiring as executioner!

Jon Aldrich:
Operate?

Jon Aldrich:
Did you say I have only one testicle?

Jon Aldrich:
Nope, nope.

Jon Aldrich:
Oh no!