Forgiving the Franklins

Caroline Franklin:
Do your friends know that you listen to old show tunes on the way to practice?

Betty Franklin:
When you talk about God, you sound like one of those women on the talkshows who's still in love with the husband that beats them.

Caroline Franklin:
She smokes cigarettes and give blow jobs - that's a 'slut'... right?

Betty Franklin:
You don't know how these women are. You say you're gonna do something *for the church* and you don't do it, you might as well be a prostitute.

Caroline Franklin:
[praying] Dear God, please give me the strength to be the servant that you want me to be, to be the beacon of light that you want representing you on this planet. Do you really want me to make a fool of myself? Is that who you want carrying your message, a fool? Well, is it? Just let me know what you want of me and I'll do it! Can you hear me, you a**hole? I'm sorry, God. I'm sorry and I'm a little hungry. Show me, God, show me what to do and I'll do it, okay?

[Jesus has been chopping down a cross]

Jesus Christ:
These things aren't sacred, it's a piece of wood. It's a marketing tool, really, a very, very annoying marketing tool. Of all the things I tried to do with my life, this is how I'm remembered? This was the worst day of my life, don't get me started!

Peggy Lester:
Caroline, it's either a blessin' or a lesson. God has a plan for you. You keep your eyes aimed up, honey, that's where the help's coming from.

Betty Franklin:
Why would I wanna continue to pretend to be a good Christian when it has ceased to mean being a decent human being as well?

Jesus Christ:
I do love you people. You know that, right?