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[From Trailer]

[about Laurel's appeal being turned down]

Steven Goldstein:
This is an outrageous miscarriage of justice. Their next meeting we show up with 100 protesters.

Dane Wells:
Radicals and strangers from New York aren't going to convince these guys.

Steven Goldstein:
I am not a radical. I am a middle-class, Jewish homosexual from New Jersey. How about you, sweetheart?

Dane Wells:
I'm a straight, white, ex-Protestant, atheist cop. You okay with that, *sweetheart*?

Steven Goldstein:
I am. That is very hot.

[From Trailer]

Steven Goldstein:
Hell! If you and I got married tomorrow, *I'd* be entitled to your benefits.

Laurel Hester:
Wait, is that a proposal?

Dane Wells:
Oh my god!

[From Trailer]

[about Laurel's upcoming appeal]

Toohey:
If they say yes my tax dollars go to her girlfriend.

Dane Wells:
Yeah. The same way your wife gets your pension if *you* die!

Toohey:
Yeah, but she's my *wife*.

Laurel Hester:
You can drywall?

Stacie Andree:
Hell yeah.

Laurel Hester:
That's sexy.

Dane Wells:
[to his police team] Who's coming to the meeting?

[no one responds]

Dane Wells:
[angrily] Oh, don't put yourselves out. Laurel would back any of you up in a heartbeat. And she's dying! But hey, you know, she's a dyke, so who gives a sh*t? Cowards!

Laurel Hester:
When my heterosexual partners die. Their pension goes to their spouses. But because my partner is a woman, I don't get to do that. In my twenty three years of being a police officer, I've never asked for special treatment. I'm only asking for equality.

Stacie Andree:
Here come the dykes.

Steven Goldstein:
Hell! If you and I got married tomorrow, I'd be entitled to your benefits!

Laurel Hester:
Wait, is that a proposal?

Steven Goldstein:
Oh honey. I would marry you, but I wouldn't know what to do with your vagina.

Steven Goldstein:
Steven, with a V, that means "Very Gay". And when people disrespect my gay brothers and sisters, I rain terror on them! Shock and awe, shock and awe.