Full Moon High

Dad - Col. William P. Walker:
I know, son, it hasn't been easy growing up deprived of some of the things that other young boys have.

Tony:
Like what, dad?

Dad - Col. William P. Walker:
Well, like a mother. Didn't you notice? I mean, you do remember mom, don't you?

Tony:
Oh yeah, she was the nice lady that used to come to the beach and the playground when I was real little.

Dad - Col. William P. Walker:
That was the maid.

Tony:
Oh. Oh I remember mom, now. I came into the room once without knocking, and you were both in bed together. You screamed at me to get out.

Dad - Col. William P. Walker:
That was the maid.

Tony:
Oh. What ever happened to that maid, dad?

Dad - Col. William P. Walker:
Oh, she ran off with my handkerchiefs and my ties. I haven't heard from her since.

Tony:
What ever happened to mom?

Dad - Col. William P. Walker:
She ran off with my bank account and stock portfolio. And I haven't heard from *her* since.

Dad - Col. William P. Walker:
Romania, it's quite a country. It's deep behind the Iron Curtain. It's steeped in the superstition of the Dark Ages. A country wrapped by ignorance and fear. You'll enjoy it.

Fortune Teller:
You will live forever.

Tony:
Hey, now come on folks, let's not get carried away here, huh?

Fortune Teller:
You will always remain young, never to age.

Tony:
Does that mean I will never be able to order a drink?

Dad - Col. William P. Walker:
All right son, we're going to have a little talk. Staying out all night, watching too much television, filthy language. That's all right. But growling - I will not tolerate growling in this house.

Tony:
[canine hair sprouting on his face] Grrrrr!

Miss Montgomery:
You're new here. I bet you aren't even armed yet.

Tony:
Oh no, I'm just here to register for classes.

Dr. Brand:
You expected someone to kiss you ass, didn't ya, big shot? What's so great about taking a step backwards in evolution? I'd like to see a wolf turn into a man! That would be progress.

Tony:
Don't worry about me, folks. Now a-days with inflation it takes at least 8 silver bullets to kill a werewolf.

Fortune Teller:
Then you will return home to fulfill your destiny.

Tony:
What destiny is that?

Fortune Teller:
I'm sorry, you're out of palm.

Dad - Col. William P. Walker:
[preparing to have sex with two Romanian women] Alright, lovelies, let's see what communist infiltration is all about.

Tony:
You're lucky being able to die. I can't die. I don't even get a temperature.

Miss Montgomery:
Come back you premature ejaculator!