George Carlin: You Are All Diseased

George Carlin:
I don't have pet peeves; I have major psychotic f***ing hatreds, okay. And it makes the world a lot easier to sort out.

George Carlin:
Here's another guy thing that sucks. These t-shirts that say: "Lead, follow, or get out of the way". You ever see that? This is more of that stupid Marine Corps bullshit. Obsolete, male impulses from a hundred thousand years ago, "Lead, follow, or get out of the way". You know what I do when I see that shirt; I obstruct. I stand right in the guy's path, force him to walk around me, he gets a little past me, I spin him around kick him in the nuts, rip off his shirt, wipe it on my ass, and shove it down his f***ing throat. Hey, listen that's all these marines are looking for; a good time.

George Carlin:
Here's another example of overprotection. You ever notice on the TV-news every time some guy with an AK47 strolls on to a school yard and kills three or four kids and a couple of teachers, the next day... the next day the school in overrun with counsellors, and psychiatrics, and grief counsellors, and trauma therapists trying to help the child cope. Sh*t, when I was in school, someone came to our school and killed three or four of us; we went right on with our arithmetic: "35 classmates minus 4... equals 31". We were tough.

George Carlin:
I'm thinking of opening up a motel and calling it "The Sleep and F***". Wouldn't that be a good, honest name for a motel, who needs this "Shady Pines"-bull sh*t? "The Sleep and F***"-motel. Get me one of them big neon signs: "Sleep", "F***", "Sleep", "F***".