Ghost Stories

Narrator:
Come with me to a place of wondrous contradictions. A place that is silent and unstirring yet is restless and alive. A place of untold peace and boundless dread. Come with me into the very cradle of darkness where those who dwell, dwell alone!

Narrator:
[opening narration] A house divided against itself cannot stand. The American Civil War proved that. The year is 1864. The place, a remote corner of the war-ravaged South. Still being assaulted by Union troops. Every day for two years, Alma Harding has prayed for the safe return of her husband, Jeremiah, a farmer serving in the beleaguered army of the South. Her prayers have now become more urgent since their only son Benjamin fell deathly ill with scarlett fever. But as Alma is about to learn, prayers sometimes are answered, in unexpected ways.

Mr. Kravitz:
I'm sorry, Mr. Mooney, there's been a misunderstanding here. It's unfortunate, but I'm going to have to let you go.

Trevor Mooney:
Let me go?

Mr. Kravitz:
There's no sale here. Given your newfound strength of character, I'm afraid you really are defective merchandise, after all.

Narrator:
Attention, viewers. In Aisle 1, we are featuring Trevor Mooney, slacker supreme. Two days short of his 21st birthday. Trevor is idling at the crossroads. Sitting there in life's barcalounger, channel-surfing through a series of insignificant jobs. Trevor and millions like him are the future of our country. God help us.

Narrator:
Attention. Today's special: a word of advice. To those of you who are young and wandering aimlessly, get your act together.