Ghost World

Alcoholic Customer:
Do you serve beer or any alcohol?

Enid:
I wish. Actually you wish... after about five minutes of this movie, you're gonna wish you had ten beers.

Rebecca:
This is so bad it's almost good.

Enid:
This is so bad it's gone past good and back to bad again.

Rebecca:
You actually like that guy?

Enid:
I don't know, I kind of like him. He's the exact opposite of everything I really hate. In a way, he's such a clueless dork, he's almost kind of cool.

Rebecca:
That guy is many things, but he's definitely not cool.

Enid:
So what was all that about enlarged holes and tight cracks?

Seymour:
I can't relate to 99% of humanity.

Rebecca:
Oh, face it, you just hate every single guy on the face of the earth.

Enid:
That's not true. I just hate all these extroverted, obnoxious, pseudo-bohemian losers.

Enid:
God, what a bunch of retards...

Rebecca:
I thought Chipmunk-face was never going to shut up.

Enid:
I know, I liked her better when she was an alcoholic crack addict! She gets in one car wreck and all of a sudden she's Little Miss Perfect and everybody loves her.

Rebecca:
It's totally sickening.

Enid:
I think only stupid people have good relationships.

Seymour:
That's the spirit.

Rebecca:
Oh look, there he is.

Enid:
As always.

Rebecca:
Waiting for the bus that never comes.

Enid:
I wonder if he's just totally insane, or he really thinks the bus is coming?

Rebecca:
Why don't you just ask him?

Enid:
Hi. What's your name?

Norman:
Norman.

Enid:
Are you waiting for a bus?

Norman:
Yes.

Enid:
I hate to tell you this, but they canceled this bus line two years ago. There are no more buses on this street.

Norman:
You don't know what you're talking about.

Rebecca:
So, what do you do if you're a Satanist?

Enid:
Sacrifice virgins and stuff.

Rebecca:
I guess that lets us off the hook.

Enid:
I think I'm going crazy from sexual frustration.

Rebecca:
And you haven't heard the miracle of masturbation?

Maxine:
It's really quite something to see you all grown-up like this, Enid. I'd love to know what you're doing now. I can't help but feel I had some small part in how you turned out. What're you studying? You were always such a smart little girl.

Enid:
I'm taking a remedial high school art class for f***-ups and retards.

Enid:
We need to find a place where you can go to meet women who share your interests.

Seymour:
Maybe I don't want to meet someone who shares my interests. I hate my interests.

Seymour:
What are we, in slow motion here? C'mon, what are you, hypnotized? Have some more kids, why don't you.

Seymour:
You think it's healthy to obsessively collect things? You can't relate to other people, so you fill your life with stuff... I'm just like all these other collector losers.

Enid:
So, I don't get it. Are you saying things were better then, even though there was stuff like this?

Seymour:
I suppose things are better now, but... I don't know. People still hate each other, they just know how to hide it better.

Enid:
Hey, look. There's the pants.

Doug:
What's up, Josh? Give me two packs of cigarettes today. Working overtime: Sixteen hours.

Doug:
And nature's nectar, wake-up juice. And give me six of these beef jerky's. I'm hungry enough to chew the crotch out of a rag doll.

Sidewinder Boss:
Hey. Hey. How many times do I have to tell you? No shirt, no service. Get the hell out of my store. What do you think this is, Club Med?

Doug:
It's called America, dude. Learn the rules.

Sidewinder Boss:
"Learn the rules?" No, YOU learn the rules. We Greeks invented democracy.

Doug:
You also invented homos.

Sidewinder Boss:
F*** you.

Doug:
You wish. You gotta buy me dinner first.

Doug:
Rock n' roll, baby: Freedom of speech.

Enid:
If he's so weird, why is he wearing Nikes?

Enid:
It's not like I'm some modern punk, d*ckhead. It's an obvious, 1977 original punk rock look. I guess Johnny f***face over there's too stupid to realize it.

Rebecca:
I didn't really get it either.

Enid:
Everyone's too stupid.

Enid:
Oh my God. He just ordered a giant glass of milk.

Josh:
...That's a vanilla milkshake.

Enid:
Oh my god. It's him. He's insane.

Rebecca:
We should follow him home.

Seymour:
Well, I have to admit that things are really starting to look up for me since my life turned to sh*t.

Angry Garage Sale Woman:
How much for this dress?

Rebecca:
God, I can't believe you're selling that.

Enid:
That's $500.

Angry Garage Sale Woman:
What?

Enid:
500.

Angry Garage Sale Woman:
You're crazy. It should be like $2.

Enid:
I was wearing that dress when I lost my virginity.

Angry Garage Sale Woman:
Why do I care?

Enid:
Well, why do you want it? I mean, it would look stupid on you anyway.

Angry Garage Sale Woman:
God. F*** you.

Dana:
I am so excited to see this movie. Dustoffvarnya is such a brilliant director. Did you see his last film, "The Flower that Drank the Moon"? It was simply glorious!

Seymour:
I guess I must have missed that one. But then what do I know. I like Laurel and Hardy movies.

Dana:
Really? I never really cared for those. I mean, why does the fat one always have to be so mean to the skinny one?

Roberta:
That piece is entitled "Mirror, Father, Mirror." I like to show it to people that I'm meeting for the first time because I feel it says so much about who I am and what it feels like to inhabit my specific skin.

Enid:
Wow, look at me. I'm not even listening to a word you're saying.

John Ellis:
You know, you never paid me for that Indian dance routine tape.

Enid:
Yes I did.

John Ellis:
You Jews are so clever with money.

Enid:
F*** you. Stupid redneck hick.

Soda Customer:
Hi, can I get a medium 7-Up?

Enid:
...Medium? Why sir, did you now know that for a mere 25 cents more you can purchase a large beverage? And you know... I'm only telling you this because we're such good friends: Medium is really only for suckers who don't know the concept of value.

Enid:
Look at this.

Rebecca:
What?

Enid:
Is Stacy Himmler going out with Rod Harbaugh.

Rebecca:
Oh, God. How perfect.

Enid:
He better watch out or he'll get AIDS when he date-rapes her.

Enid:
Gimme all your money, b*tch!

Rebecca:
God, I'm so sick of Seymour.

Seymour:
Let the machine get it, I have no desire to talk to anyone who might be calling me.

Enid:
By the end of the summer you're going to be up to your neck in p*ssy.

Enid:
Are you into girls with big tits?

Seymour:
As long as she's not a complete imbecile and she's even remotely attractive.

Phillip:
It's a really great video game about a guy who kills people with a big hammer.

Roberta:
Oh. I thought it was supposed to be your father.

Enid:
How come all that time I was trying to get you a date you never asked me out?

Seymour:
You're a beautiful girl, I couldn't imagine you'd have any interest in me except as an amusingly cranky eccentric curiosity.

Enid:
Yeah, yeah, just list your 5 main interest in order of importance.

Seymour:
I'm gonna hve to put trad, trad jazz, Blues then rhythm at the top of the list.

Enid:
Right, so, let's just put music, that way we only use up one.

Enid:
Josh, he's nobody's boyfriend, he's just this guy that Becky and I like to torture.

Enid:
How can you stand all these a**holes

Rebecca:
Some people are ok, mostly I just feel like poisoning everybody.