Gone in Sixty Seconds

Memphis:
I just stole fifty cars in one night! I'm a little tired, little *wired*, and I think I deserve a little appreciation!

Ignacio:
That's nasty. What kind of a sicko gets their jollies from playin' with dog sh*t man?

Freb:
The corner of Wiltern and Wetherley... Tumbler messed up, he said the Porsche should be at the corner of Wiltern and Wetherly.

Kip:
There it is.

Mirror Man:
You're bullshitting me!"

Kip:
I gotta get my tool

Mirror Man:
Kip that's not a tool... that's a damn brick! Kip, man we gonna use a brick, we may as well call prison and make reservations!

Otto Halliwell:
We're gonna have to go old school on this. A day to shop, a day to prep.

Memphis:
I am a baaaad man.

Raymond Calitri:
Am I an a**hole? Do I look like an a**hole?

Memphis:
Yeah.

Sway:
I've got two jobs. I've discovered that you have to work twice as hard when it's honest.

The Sphinx:
If his unpleasant wounding has in some way enlightened the rest of you as to the grim finish beneath the glossy veneer of criminal life, then his injuries carry with it an inherent nobility, and a supreme glory. We should all be so fortunate. You say poor Toby? I say poor us.

Raymond Calitri:
I try to learn your ways, understand your obsessions. But this baseball, it's so bleedin' boring, isn't it?

Raymond Calitri:
They threw us out of England, they threw us out of France, so here we are. Flourishing, really, except for the minor inconvenience of despising everything about your country.

Freb:
You ever feel bad about any of this?

Donny:
Hell, no. I'm Robin Hood, man. I rob from the rich and give to the needy.

Freb:
You mean the poor.

Donny:
No, like I said, the needy. 'Cause brother, we need this car.

Drycoff:
All gone, we didn't get a single one of them, and we are talking about professionals. No visible damage to locking mechanisms, steering columns, or ignitions, and as you can see, these are not Honda Civics. This is one of three brand-new Mercedes, a car they say is "unstealable."

Sway:
What do you think is more exciting , having sex or stealing cars?

Memphis:
Having sex or boosting cars... Um, oo! Uh. How about having sex WHILE boosting cars?

Mirror Man:
Hey, Sphinx, I don't look suspicious, do I, man?

Raymond Calitri:
Then bring me his brother. One Raines is as good as the other. It never rains but it pours.

Memphis:
The ladies are dirty. Walk away. The ladies are dirty.

Memphis:
Without disappointment you cannot appreciate victory.

Det. Roland Castlebeck:
Did Eleanor tell you that?

Memphis:
For the next 24 hours, all your decision-making privileges have been removed. You got it?

Mirror Man:
It's cool, man.

Memphis:
Obviously, they're on to us. He's sniffing real close. If anything tonight appears out of place, I want you to cut bait, get out of there, and walk away. And get rid of this goddamn car!

Otto Halliwell:
How Many Days?

Memphis:
Three

Otto Halliwell:
How many in your crew?

Memphis:
One, but, I'm here to negotiate for a second.

Sway:
Hello, ladies. I always was a sucker for a redhead.

Mirror Man:
Hey, lookie here, she's a brick... , duh-duh-duh, house.

Donny:
Hello, and welcome to "TV Car Trivia!" First question, who was the driver of a '73 Firebird? Uh, Otto?

Otto Halliwell:
Uh, Jim Rockford, "Rockford Files".

Sara "Sway" Wayland:
Gimme "Columbo".

Kip:
A Peugeot convertible.

Donny:
What color?

Kip:
Gray.

Mirror Man:
How do you know that?

Kip:
'Cause I love that show.

Mirror Man:
Man, I got three words for all of y'all: Get a life!

Freb:
What's on Magnum P.I.'s license plate?

Tumbler:
"ROBIN-1"

Kip:
Wait, wasn't Robin that faggoty guy that always hung with him?

Memphis:
Naw, that was Higgins. That was Higgins.

Otto Halliwell:
Hey, hey, ten points for our fearless leader. Sway, how about giving us the Bill Bixby trifecta?

Sara "Sway" Wayland:
Drove a Corvette in "The Magician", a Ford pickup truck in "The Incredible Hulk", and in "The Courtship of Eddie's Father", he walked.

Roger the Car Salesman:
My name's Roger, Sir. May I be of some help?

Memphis:
That's funny, my name's Roger... Two Rogers don't make a right.

Memphis:
Roger, I have a problem...

Roger the Car Salesman:
Yes?

Memphis:
I've been in L.A. for three months now. I have money, I have taste. But I'm not on anybody's "A" list, and Saturday night is the loneliest night for the week for me.

Roger the Car Salesman:
Well, a Ferrari would certainly change that.

Memphis:
Perhaps, Mmmm. But, you know, this is the one. Yes, yes yes... I saw three of these parked outside the local Starbucks this morning, which tells me only one thing. There's too many self-Indulgent wieners in this city with too much bloody money! Now, if I was driving a 1967 275 GTB four-cam...

Roger the Car Salesman:
You would not be a self-indulgent wiener, sir... You'd be a connoisseur.

Memphis:
Precisely. Champagne would fall from the heavens. Doors would open. Velvet ropes would part.

Memphis:
Shut it off!

Raymond Calitri:
You got 30 seconds to consider your options. One, you kill me, they kill you, your brother dies anyway.

Memphis:
Shut it off!

Raymond Calitri:
Two, you lie, you accept the job, you run, I hunt you down, I kill you, I kill your brother, and I kill your mother for the aggravation you cause me. Three, you accept the job, you steal some cars, you make some money, and you be a big brother.

Raymond Calitri:
8 A.M. Friday morning. The cars are on the boat, or your brother's in the coffin.

Drycoff:
Who's Eleanor?

Det. Roland Castlebeck:
A damn car. And don't ever talk about my wife.

Mirror Man:
Hey Sphinx, check it out. Homeboy got "SNAKE" on the license plate. Well, Snake gon' have to slither his ass all the way to the bus stop in the morning... I got some low-riding music for you. It's better than that cracker sh*t you listen to.

Memphis:
How did you get this car?

Freb:
Boosted her myself.

Memphis:
You stole a car that wasn't on the list. Why don't you just go to the police station in a red clown suit and let everybody know what we're doing here?

Donny:
How did you get this car?

Freb:
Actually, the keys were in it.

Donny:
Well, that kinda defies the point.

Kip:
Why are people shooting at us?

Memphis:
'Cause I blew up their car!

Memphis:
Look!

Memphis:
Cop car! Uh-huh! Long as I'm in there, you're just gonna sit out there, aren't you, ai'ight?

Kip:
Hey, what time is it?

Atley Jackson:
Seven-thirty. I think I'm gonna have to - get you outta town or something. Your brother's the best boost in the world but I don't how if he's gonna make this one.

Kip:
Uh, I'm not like my brother. You know, I don't just abandon my friends.

Atley Jackson:
Oh, man, I oughtta smack you silly, boy.

Kip:
Well, go on then. Straighten it out.

Atley Jackson:
Your mother told him to go. She knew that if Memphis stayed, you were gonna walk his line. You were gonna join his crew. But she told him to pick up and go. And he did, thinking it was best for you. He left all of us, for you. I guess it wasn't that big a deal for him though, really. Wasn't that big a sacrifice leaving everything he'd ever known behind. Than six years later, ain't life grand? You became a car boost anyway. How 'bout that?

Det. Roland Castlebeck:
GOD!

Drycoff:
Man this guy can drive!

Det. Roland Castlebeck:
What? WHAT?

Drycoff:
It's probably mostly the car...