Good Luck Charlie, It's Christmas!

Bob Duncan:
Uh, kids, very important.

PJ Duncan:
Well, what?

Bob Duncan:
The... thing that your mom said.

Gabe Duncan:
Grandpa, how'd you get an antique like this?

Grandpa:
I bought it new.

Small Town Cop:
Just let it go, ma'am.

Amy Duncan:
Oh, for the last time, I didn't hit anybody.

Small Town Cop:
Yeah, I know. You were just gesturing for emphasis.

Small Town Cop:
I'd take you there myself but rush hour is starting and... someone's gotta turn on the traffic light.

Gabe Duncan:
Grandpa's lost his mind.

Bob Duncan:
Well, it's one more thing he and Grandma have in common.

Amy Duncan:
Do they seem a little weird to you?

Teddy Duncan:
Yeah. Almost as weird as you eating a napkin for dessert.

Teddy:
[doing a selfie video] Guess what, Charlie? We're one day away from going on your first trip on an airplane, and celebrating our first Christmas at Grandma and Grandpa's new condo in Palm Springs! You're going to have so much fun.

Amy:
[nearby on the phone] No, no, no, Mom, you have to toddler-proof the place.

Teddy:
[continuing her video] Just so long as you don't touch anything.

Amy:
No, anything breakable has to be at least three feet off the ground.

Charlie:
Uh-oh.

Amy:
[broken vase at her little feet] Make that four. I gotta go. Charlie! Get back in here! No, no, no, stay away, there's shards everywhere! Are you eating a cookie in the living room? You get back here! And stay away!

Amy:
For the last time, no!

PJ:
[walking behind] She thinks that's going to be the last time.

Teddy:
So I'm old enough to take care of Charlie but not myself? Mom, that doesn't make any sense!

Amy:
Sweetheart, I'm your mother, I never make sense.

Teddy:
Look, I bought magazines at the bus station.

Amy:
Yeah, I'm not really up for reading right now.

Teddy:
Oh, don't worry, these are fashion magazines. They don't require any reading at all!