Great Muppet Caper

Girl:
Look, father. A bear.

Father:
No, dear. That's a frog. Bears wear hats.

Miss Piggy:
You. It was you. Kermit was right. You're a phony. You're a PHONY. Yes, and you know what, you can't even sing. You were dubbed.

Lady Holiday:
It's plot exposition. It has to go somewhere.

Statler:
I guess all's well that ends well.

Waldorf:
I don't care, as long as it ends.

Truck Driver:
What are you doing here?

Oscar the Grouch:
A very brief cameo.

Truck Driver:
Me too.

Kermit:
We're going to catch those crooks red-handed.

Beauregard:
What color are their hands now?

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew:
I suggest we jump.

Fozzie:
Are you crazy? It must be 100 feet.

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew:
I didn't say it was a good suggestion.

Kermit:
How come you don't have an English accent?

Beauregard:
Hey I'm lucky to have a driver's license.

Pops:
Hey, how're you guys fixin' to pay?

Kermit:
What are our choices?

Pops:
A: Credit card; B: Cash; C: Sneak out in the middle of the night.

Fozzie:
We'll take C.

Pops:
Very popular choice.

Gonzo:
Stop the presses.

Gonzo:
I don't know. I just always wanted to say that.

Kermit:
I don't wanna be rude but we're trying to do a movie here.

Statler:
Hey Waldarf, wake up. Here come the bikinis.

Waldarf:
We'd better synchronize our pace makers.

Miss Piggy:
What am I? Gluten for punishment?

Kermit:
We were wondering if you could recommend a nice hotel. Actually, a cheap hotel.

British Gentleman:
How cheap?

Fozzie:
Free.

British Gentleman:
That narrows the field a bit.

British Gentleman:
"Places where you can park your carcasses." Bus terminals, the river banks, the Happiness Hotel...

Kermit:
The Happiness Hotel? That sounds great.

Gonzo:
What's wrong with bus terminals?

Fozzie:
Please let Kermit go. If you hold him too long, you know you'll just get warts.

Gonzo:
Is that the Eiffel Tower?

Fozzie:
Yes.

Kermit:
No.

Fozzie:
No.

Fozzie:
I guess this would be a bad time to ask for a raise?

Nicky Holiday:
Miss Piggy you're a very different looking woman. I'm so tired of the same type. Those tall thin creatures with the long legs, the... the aquiline noses, the teeth like pearls, soft skin...

Miss Piggy:
Yeah, well I can see where that might make you sick to your stomach.

Fozzie:
Kermit, I'm hungry. When do we get to eat?

Kermit:
Sorry Fozzie, they don't serve food in 9th class.

Kermit:
Great the plane is landing.

Kermit:
Great. How close are we?

Kermit:
You mean...

Sam the Eagle:
You are all - WEIRDOS.

Gonzo:
I'd like to try this without a balloon.

Kermit:
Try what? Plummeting?

Gonzo:
Yeah.

Kermit:
I suppose you could try it once.

Kermit:
What's wrong with the drummer? He looks a little crazed.

Zoot:
Oh, he's just upset about missing the Monet exhibit at the National Gallery.

Animal:
RENOIR. RENOIR.

Beauregard:
What's your room number?

Kermit:
What?

Beauregard:
What floor are you staying on?

Fozzie:
Oh. We're staying on the fourth floor.

Beauregard:
Oh, I'm sorry. I can only take you as far as the lobby.

British Gentleman:
I didn't think this was the time for it to be raining cats and dogs.

Kermit:
Actually, we're bears and frogs.

Gonzo:
And Gonzos.