Gummo

Solomon:
Life is great, without it you'd be dead.

Tummler:
I knew a guy who was dyslexic. He was also cross-eyed. So everything came out right.

Solomon:
Tummler sees everything. Some say he's downright evil. He's got what it takes to be a legend. He's got a marvelous persona.

Solomon:
Xenia, Ohio. Xenia, Ohio. A couple of years ago, a tornado hit this place. It killed the people left and right. Houses were split open, and you could see necklaces hanging from branches of trees. Dogs died. Cats died. I saw a girl fly through the sky... and I looked up her skirt.

Tummler:
When I go to bed, I get hungry! When I sit down to eat, I get sexy! I saw a man, lying in the middle of the road! And I said "can I help you"? And he said "I just found a parking space, now I'm waiting for my wife to go buy a car!

Solomon:
Is she dead?

Tummler:
She's alive on that machine.

Solomon:
Do you love me?

Cassiday:
Yes.

Solomon:
Do you think I'm attractive?

Cassiday:
No. You look fine just the way you are.

Eddie:
I take this prescription drug, called Ritalin. It's not the kind of drug that f***s you up. If anything, it makes you normal.

Tummler:
I'm pretty smart, if I say so myself.

Huntz:
Why is that?

Tummler:
This afternoon, we walked into a fruit store, and the clerk thinks I'm some out-of-town hick. "Those apples will be two bucks each", he tells me. I pass over a five. And as he's about to give me a dollar change, I say "keep it, we're even. On the way in, I stepped on a grape".

Solomon:
I know these two brothers. They murdered their parents. They both claim to be raised as Jehova's Witnesses.

Tummler:
His dad never gave a crap. Not even at the end of his game. It was scary to see him despondent like that. Dad didn't care for mom much either, or the little doggy. He started going to church, and he started listening to the gospels. It was expected when he robbed the neighbors. He took their wine. He took some rings, and fine jewelry. I think he got a fur coat as well. When he had a son, he didn't think to watch his ways. He thought the same as his daddy.

Tummler's Father:
There once was a girl from Salt Lake City, with two cord legs and two rubber titties. She loved electricity, but she burned off gas, with a V8 p*ssy, and a Cadillac ass.