Guru

Vijay:
Do you know why they call it the American Dream? Because it only happens when you are asleep.

Vijay:
Name one famous Indian in America.

Sanjay:
That guy from the Simpsons.

Vijay:
He is a cartoon!

Mira:
Ramu is on TV!

Mrs. Gupta:
What he is talking about?

Nana:
Sexual intercourse.

Father:
Enough of this swapping of spit! Let's celebrate!

Ramu Gupta:
Why are you afraid?

Kitty:
What makes you think that I'm afraid?

Ramu Gupta:
I feel it.

Sharonna:
I'm engaged to a nice, normal guy. Do you know how hard it is to find a nice, normal guy in New York?

Hank the Cameraman:
Alright, you wanna lose the pants?

Ramu Gupta:
Is that part of the movie?

Hank the Cameraman:
Could be.

Ramu Gupta:
Is the Mercedes in the shop or something?

Vijay:
Or something.

Vijay:
You have a roof over your head, clothes on your back, food in your belly, what more do you want?

Ramu Gupta:
I want what you promised.

Ramu Gupta:
You need to do your own thing. Live your own life.

Lexi:
I'm going to meditate on that.

Ramu Gupta:
The most powerful sexual organ is your brain. Think about it.

Ramu Gupta:
Are you thinking?

Turned-on Woman:
My whole body is about to think!

Rasphal the Cook:
Is he doing the Macarena?

Chantal:
I give you Swami Bu.

Vijay:
Swami, you're on.

Vijay:
Swami Bu has gone to another dimension.

Chantal:
What's wrong? You haven't been up here since the Reagan administration.