Hair

Prison Psychiatrist:
You like men?

Woof:
Men?

Prison Psychiatrist:
You have any sexual attraction towards men?

Woof:
You mean am I a homosexual or something like that?

Prison Psychiatrist:
Yeah.

Woof:
Well, I wouldn't kick Mick Jagger out of my bed.

Jeannie:
I know who the father is.

Hud:
Yeah, you know that, you know a lot. If the baby comes out all white and squishy-like, crying his ass off, then we know Woof is definitely the daddy. But if he comes out all beautiful and chocolate brown, that's mine!

Sheila:

Berger:
Where you from?

Claude Bukowski:
Oklahoma.

Jeannie:
Hey, listen. I know what it's like. I used to be from Kansas myself.

Jeannie:
So, do you wanna to get married?

Claude Bukowski:
To who?

Jeannie:
Me!

Steve:
I'll give you the money at for, ok?

Berger:
That's my othe problem.

Steve:
What?

Berger:
You're full of sh*t.

Berger:
Bukowski!

Claude:
Yes, Sergeant!

Berger:
Let's move it out!

Claude:
Yes, Sergeant!

Berger:
Double time, soldier.

Claude:
Yes, Sergeant! (Claude and Berger walk out of the barracks) Sir?

Berger:
In the car, soldier!

Claude:
Yes, Sergeant!

Berger:
Are you an a**hole, soldier?

Claude:
No, Sergeant!

Berger:
That's too bad, because I am.

Chorus:
[singing] This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius, the age of Aquarius!

Jeanie Ryan:
Of course I'm crazy! We're all crazy. Let's shake on it.

Hippie:
The draft is white people sending black people to make war on the yellow people to defend the land they stole from the red people!

Woof, Hud, Berger:
Oh say, can you see / my eyes? If you can / then my hair's too short.