Halloween Treat

Narrator:
[from the extended version] Nobody has pleasant dreams on Halloween, for along with witches and ghouls, nightmares are the order of the evening.

Narrator:
There was a mean chapter in history when cats were condemned and persecuted, a dark age, when the world was filled with strange fears and superstitions. It was believed that evil traveled the land in human forms and thousands of innocent people were hanged or burnt at the stake for witchcraft or sorcery. They were condemned by the words of the ignorant, spreading through towns and villages, twisting and turning into fantastic and monsterous tales. These tales became known as legends, one of them held that anyone or anything who traveled by night was an evil spirit and to blame for any sickness in the community.

Magic Mirror:
You know, I've been hanging around here for centuries. And what I've seen has given me plenty for reflection. Being a mirror, I see things from the other side. And there's something that's been wrangling me for ages. Frankly it's the way you mortals have misjudged a certain character: the villain.

Magic Mirror:
So tonight I'll present for your hisses and boos, a cavalcade of caitiffs who always must lose: the villains.

Narrator:
Once you're in the mood to be scared, almost anything can make your hair stand on end, especially if you already have an overactive imagination.

Magic Mirror:
[of the villain] He's the fellow who does his best to give you his worst. The chap who gives the hero a chance to be brave. Bow where would David be without Goliath? Or Jonah without the whale? How interesting would Samson be without Delilah?

Captain Hook:
[thinking Peter Pan has been blown up] So passeth a worthy opponent.

Mr. Smee:
Amen.

Magic Mirror:
Don't get too softhearted, boys. Peter's getting ready to zap you good any minute now.

Magic Mirror:
I give you that unsung creature who gave his all to make the feature.

Magic Mirror:
He had all the applause, and the glory. Now I ask you, was that fair? Pan was an able-bodied boy who could fly in all directions, while Captain Hook was definitely earthbound, and had to fight with only one hand.

Magic Mirror:
You see, as always, the hero goes to the rescue, and gets the world's acclaim. While the villain, who has worked so hard to give you an exciting story, as always gets it in... the end.

Magic Mirror:
Even in a classic fairy tale it's the villain who gives the suspense of the story. Take away the villain and what have you got? Boredom. How about "Jack and the Beanstalk"? You see, the villain didn't even get billing. It should've been "Jack and the Giant and the Beanstalk". As a result of this cruel injustice, Jack went on to become one of the great heroes of all time. In fact, once the giant was disposed of, Jack went into retirement and hasn't worked since. Fortunately, the story can be told without him. You see, as long as the villain remains the same, *anyone* can play the part of the hero.

Magic Mirror:
[of Mickey, Donald, and Goofy in Mickey and the Beanstalk] Heroes indeed! Guilty of trespassing, breaking and entering, and now petty larceny. And why? Because the guy who lives in the castle happens to be a giant. Scorned and detested because of a glandular disorder. Now really!

Magic Mirror:
If you want to make it as a villain, never leave your own turf.

Magic Mirror:
Well, just as our rotten reptile has a firm grasp on things, along comes Shere Kahn. And the last thing a villain needs is another villain.

Magic Mirror:
And, oh, what fireworks, when I had to tell her that her plot had failed! Oh, no setback is gonna keep *her* from giving her great performance in cruelty. Not if it kills her. And it will, believe me; she'll go to any lengths to keep this story exciting.

Magic Mirror:
Now here's the part I can't stand. Unable to face Maleficent alone, the brave young prince has to get help with help from three little old ladies, with magic wands yet! Now that's four against one!

Magic Mirror:
Here lies Maleficent, Goddess of Evil Things. Thank heavens there are more, awaiting in the wings.

Magic Mirror:
Ahh, the wicked witch from Snow White, Mad Madame Mim - what delightful damsels of doom they were. Come to think of it, the villainess has always been *my* favorite.

Magic Mirror:
[Medusa shoots his frame] Now wait just a minute - this thing has gone too far.

[another shot partly gets the glass, which begins to crack]

Magic Mirror:
I don't know about you, but I'm getting out of here.

Narrator:
Who would believe it? The first sign of real danger, and our guest of honor vanishes. He's probably scared of ghosts as well. Of course, ghosts don't scare *you*. So come along to a real haunted house. After all, it is Halloween. The time for every fun-loving ghost to really howl.