Happily N'Ever After

Frieda:
Forty flights of stairs in heels? This had better be good...

Rick:
Can I get you guys a refill on the mead?

Wolf #1:
[gestures to a chair] What's your rush, kid? Sit down!

Wolf #2:
Take a load off! Pour yourself a glass.

Rick:
[sits] All right! Don't mind if I do. You know, that's the first time anybody asked me to sit down...

[puts feet up, accidentally kicks fork, drink flies across room and melts witch]

Wolf #1:
So, what's your name, kid?

Rick:
Rick.

Wolf #2:
So, are you a good guy, or a bad guy, or what kind?

Rick:
Neither! I work in the kitchen.

Wolf #1:
Let me give you some advice. Around here, you're either a good guy, or a bad guy. And between you and me, I don't see much future in being good. *Capiche*?

Munk:
We're not tipping the scales of good and evil so YOU can be entertained!

Mambo:
What if we made the seven dwarves, seven feet TALL? And...

Munk:
No way!

Mambo:
What about making Rapunzel go bald...

Munk:
[interrupts, grabs remote] NO! Forget it.

[walks away]

Mambo:
Couldn't we just give her split ends? Or dandruff? Or a mullet! Or SOMETHING!

Rick:
What's goin' on?

Mambo:
[watching Prince Humperdink storm the castle] There's the dashing prince, he's charging, he's wielding his noble sword, with... with fiery determination, he's falling off, he's falling off the steed, he fell off... he's on the ground now, he's on the ground, he's lookin' for his noble sword...

Rick:
I'm almost startin' to feel sorry for the guy!

Mambo:
He's feeling around, is that, he has a stick, [Humperdink shrieks] oh... ooh, they're kicking him now... and they're laughing, they're laughing at him, and they're, he, oh, he just... got... captured...

Ella:
[gushing to Rick about Prince Humperdink] Oh, did you see him today? Who's he wearing?

Mambo:
I hate gravity!

Rick:
Munk's the guy who looks at the glass as half-empty. Mambo's the guy who... Probably peed in the glass.

Mambo:
[as the group is being chased by a wolf] KISS IT! Maybe it'll turn into a prince!

Rick:
Believe it or not, it gets worse.

Munk:
Are you sure about this?

Rick:
No. Act cool.

Rick:
[to Troll guards] Hey I'm just tryin' to put money in your pocket playa. Yo.

Munk:
Umm... Yo?

Mambo:
Yo! We're cool. We're low. We're on the down low. The DL. Down low. Way down we're slowly rolly polly oly.

Mambo:
[after Munk pulls him away from the guards] Hey! What's wrong with you? I'm down!

Frieda:
Girls, mom's gonna take matters into her own hands, don't wait up.

Munk:
Cinderella, going to the ball... again.

Prince Humperdink:
Why... log... hurt... prince? Sleepy now.

Rick:
Uhh... happy music please.

Rick:
...I'll give you the lowdown on Fairytale Land. Yeah, the name's kind of corny, but we had to call it something and "Canada" was already taken.

Ella:
Rick! I was dancing with the prince and my dress disappeared!

Rick:
Ok, too much information, but thank you!

Fairy Godmother:
Time to get your prince, my dear Mozzarella!

Ella:
It's Cinderella.

Fairy Godmother:
Really? Why'd you change it?

Rumplestiltskin:
I STOLE A BABY! That's about as EVIL as it GETS!

Frieda:
The *DISHWASHER* saved her? This is like a good dream you can't wake up from!

Frieda:
Go forth! Find Cinderella, and bring her to me!

Wolf #1:
[pauses] Us? Work?

Wolf #2:
Before NOON?

Giant:
Yes, well, ah, we're more nocturnal villains. You see, that means we operate at night.

Rick:
Look, I say there's no time to find the prince! We gotta take Frieda out! Ourselves!

Munk:
But she has the wizard's staff!

Rick:
So, take it! Just create a distraction, sneak up on her, and jump her.

Mambo:
Okay, good, we make a distraction, we do some sneaking, and then this 'jumping' thing thoUGH; I don't know, I have a bad back. Who's doin' the jumping?

Ella:
[the Prince sniffs the air as they dance] What's wrong?

Prince Humperdink:
I detect the strangest smell of pumpkin. [grins] I like pumpkin.

The Wizard:
Time for my vacation! I'm off to Scotland!

Mambo:
Uhh... why?

Frieda:
I hate that girl! She's so... girly!