Happy-Go-Lucky

Zoe:
You can't make everyone happy.

Poppy:
There's no harm in trying that Zoe, is there?

Poppy:
Oh! What-chu-ma-call-it ding dang dilly dilly da da hoo hoo!

Poppy:
Blimey O'Reilly!

Poppy:
You keep on rowin', and I'll keep on smilin'.

Scott:
Bear with me.

Poppy:
Is there? Where is he?

Poppy:
Oh no there's a juggernaut, get down!

Poppy:
Don't think so, gigolo.

Scott:
What am I supposed to call you?

Poppy:
Oh how 'bout, Poppy?

Scott:
Poppy?

Poppy:
Yeah. No, whatever turns you on Scott, I don't mind.

Poppy:
Here we go, gigolo!

[repeated line]

Scott:
En-ra-ha!

Poppy:
Do penguins emigrate?

Zoe:
What - do they move to the Costa del Sol?

Poppy:
It was in a Cadillac. In Miami. Bunny hop down the beach. I was a bit pissed. It was hilarious!

Ezra:
[starts to massage Poppy's back] And you let me know where the pain is.

Poppy:
I'll send you a text.

Scott:
Cheapness is relative.

Scott:
The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

[repeated line]

Scott:
Keep to the left of the center of the road.

[repeated line]

Scott:
Mirrors, signal, maneuver, En-ra-ha.

Scott:
The American dream never happened. The American nightmare is already here. I mean, look at the Washington Monument. It is 555 feet above the ground and 111 feet below the ground. 555 plus 111 is 666. 6-6-6, Poppy. 6-6-6

Title Card:
[first lines]

Poppy:
[pulls out book from shelf] The Road to Reality... [smiles and pushes the book back] Don't wanna be going there! [laughs]

Scott:
The education system in this country produces left-brain prisoners!

Helen:
You want a baby though, don't you Poppy?

Poppy:
No thanks, I just had a kebab!

Poppy:
[on the phone] Alright then; see you then, then. Then - then - then [laughs]

Poppy:
Are you a Satanist, Scott?

Scott:
No... in fact, I'm exactly the opposite.

Poppy:
Are you the Pope, then? [laughs]

Scott:
It's the same thing.

Poppy:
Is it? Does he know that?

Poppy:
I've got a violent pupil in my flock.

Zoe:
What's he doing?

Poppy:
Being violent.

Zoe:
What, is he hitting you?

Poppy:
Been hitting the other kids.

Zoe:
What are you doing about it?

Poppy:
Spoke to Heather... Poor little bugger. You've got to love them, haven't you?

Zoe:
Yes, otherwise you kill 'em.

Zoe:
O.K., here's another one...

Poppy:
Yeah.

Zoe:
Circle... completely red...

Poppy:
What, like a tomato?

Zoe:
For instance [Poppy smiles]... white horizontal line.

Poppy:
Give us a clue Zoe.

Zoe:
[gesturing] Horizontal: *parallel* to the *horizon*.

Poppy:
[nods and smiles] Thank you, Miss Marsh.

Zoe:
You're welcome!

Poppy:
So it's not... [gesturing] up and down, like a yo-yo?

Zoe:
No.

Poppy:
Right.

Zoe:
What is it?

Poppy:
Vertical. [smiles]

Zoe:
[laughing] No you muppet, the sign.

Suzy:
The thing is, we're starting with Criminal Justice.

Poppy:
Is that your first exam?

Suzy:
Yeah, it's crap. If we had Cyber Crime first, or like, Crime and Pleasure, I could ease myself into it. No probs.

Poppy:
What we having, then?

Zoe:
Food.

Poppy:
That makes a change.

Zoe:
Are you hungry?

Poppy:
I'm ravishing.

Scott:
Now I'm going to take you to a spot we take all the learner drivers.

Poppy:
Are you now?

Scott:
And we are going to go through what we call the Cockpit Drill.

Poppy:
[glances down at Scott's lap] Oh, naughty.

Scott:
So, you're going to listen and take responsibility.

Poppy:
See what I can do.

Scott:
Right, you see three mirrors: your two side-view mirrors and your rear-view mirror. They make a Golden Triangle.

Poppy:
Is that like the pubic triangle?

Scott:
It's a pyramid, and at the top of the pyramid, you see the all-seeing eye, Enraha. Can you repeat that, please? En-ra-ha.

Poppy:
Are you talking about the eye of Lucifer?

Scott:
No!

Poppy:
[laughing] 'Cause I don't know if I want to look in there, thank you very much.

Scott:
It's not Lucifer. There are two fallen angels before Lucifer. There is Enraha, Raziel and Lucifer.

Poppy:
Sorry, I don't have them in my phone book.

Scott:
The teacher's job is to bring out good habits in the pupil and to get rid of bad habits. He does that through frequent repetitive thinking. And he does that by creating clear and distinct images that are easy for the pupil to retain.

Poppy:
Oh, does he, now?

Scott:
Yes.

Poppy:
[pointing to forehead] Don't worry, it's burnt in there, it's burnt in there.

Scott:
You see, you'll remember. You will remember Enraha till the day you die, and I will have done my job.

Poppy:
Why don't you have something nice up there, like a giant strawberry or something?

Scott:
You know what it means when they express themselves?

Poppy:
Go on.

Scott:
How little do they know. How little do their mothers know.

Poppy:
Ooooh...

Scott:
And they smell.

Poppy:
It's not easy being you, is it, eh?

Zoe:
[testing Poppy on the Highway Code] Next to the black car is a red car.

Poppy:
That's Mr. Golly overtaking Noddy.

Zoe:
Enraha.

Poppy:
Enraha to you.

Flamenco Teacher:
[in slightly broken English] So, my name is Rosita Santos and I'm coming from Sevilla in Spain. Or Seville, what you say here. What is famous for our bullfighting, our beautiful oranges... what your English peoples turn into disgusting marmalade.

Scott:
Okay Poppy, this is your third driving lesson.

Poppy:
I'm getting quite good, aren't I?

Scott:
No, you're not good. You're smug. You're too easily distracted. You're distracted by squirrels, by dogs, by children in the park, by old ladies in surgical stockings, by half-naked men in their gardens.

Poppy:
Oh well, he was quite fit, wasn't he?

Scott:
No, he wasn't fit, he had a paunch.

Poppy:
I didn't know you were checking it out so carefully, Scott, eh?

Poppy:
Where are you going?

Tramp:
Longest way out, shortest way home.

Poppy:
Oh, Sod's Law.

Tramp:
[whispering very softly] Is he gone?

Poppy:
Alright, you what?

Tramp:
[moves towards Poppy urgently, whispering] Is he gone?

Poppy:
Ease up! What?

Tramp:
[whispering urgently] Is he gone? Is he gone?

Poppy:
Is who gone?

Tramp:
[whispering] The rubber knocker man.

Poppy:
What?

Tramp:
[whispering with emphasis] The rubber knocker man.

Poppy:
Oh, the rubber knocker man! Why didn't you say?

Tramp:
[whispering urgently] Is he gone? Is he gone?

Poppy:
Yah yah, yah. He's gone, he's gone. [playing along, looking behind her] I see him. He's a-running. He's a-rubbing his knockers. He's gone.

Scott:
Do you remember the shape of the pyramid?

Poppy:
Enraha.

Scott:
No, Enraha is the eye at the top of the pyramid. I'm talking about the bottom of the pyramid.

Poppy:
Oh yah?

Scott:
Where those at the bottom of the pyramid in this world are kept in total ignorance of what those at the top of the pyramid are achieving. [reminding Poppy to check rear-view mirror] Enraha. Enraha.

Scott:
Where are you on the pyramid?

Poppy:
Me, I'm outside the pyramid and I'm looking in.

Scott:
Oh, of course you are.

Poppy:
But where are you... but where are you? That is more to the point. Where are you, and where are your children?

Scott:
That is the question, where are we all, eh?

Zoe:
So where did you go tonight?

Poppy:
Eternal question. Where have we been? Where are we going? What's the meaning of life? I went to the moon, and then back again.

Zoe:
Wow, you walk quickly.

Poppy:
I've got good legs.

Zoe:
Yeah, you've got great legs. Not that you're my type.

Zoe:
[scrutinizing Poppy's palm] Oh, I see a very strong line. It's your bullshit line. And I see a tall, dark, handsome... turd.

Scott:
The left brain is information, data. It's dead. The right brain is individuality. It's where the soul lies. And the education system, it works like this... "I will give you a world view. And if you repeat my world view, if you reconfirm my world view, you will pass your exams and you will go higher and higher and higher, and you will become a policeman, a magistrate, a lawyer, a general, a politician. And you will be happy and you will succeed. But if you think for yourself, if you think outside of the box, then you will be unhappy and you will fail. That's how the education system works. Left turn. Enraha. Signal. Enraha.

Poppy:
[silence, then contemplatively] Were you bullied at school, Scott?

Scott:
You know, you can make jokes while you're driving, Poppy, but you will crash and you will die laughing.

Poppy:
Well, if you're going to go, it's the best way to go, I suppose. Are you scared of death, Scott?

Scott:
No, I'm not scared of death. I'm scared of dying. That's why I woke up.

Poppy:
Oh, when did you wake up?

Scott:
A long time ago.

Poppy:
Who set the alarm?

Scott:
I set the alarm. I opened my eyes, and I saw.

Scott:
[agitatedly] Look, another camera, speed camera. Why do you need speed cameras? There's two guys at the back of the road there selling drugs, and you have a speed camera. Why do you need a speed camera?

Poppy:
[closing lines, on cellphone while rowing] I'm on the lake, with Zoe. Yeah... the bathroom flooded, yeah. It's alright now. We've found a boat.

Heather:
What're you reading?

Nick:
"Yuck!"

Heather:
"Yuck!"? That's nice, isn't it?

Poppy:
It's a classic, that.

Helen:
[somewhat patronizingly] I just want you to be happy, that's all.

Poppy:
I am happy.

Helen:
I don't think you are.

Poppy:
I am! I love my life. Yeah, it can be tough at times, that's part of it, isn't it? I've got a great job, brilliant kids, lovely flat. [points at Zoe, laughs] I've got her to look at. I've got amazing friends. I love my freedom. I'm a very lucky lady, I know that...

Helen:
[annoyed] Alright, there's no need to rub it in.

Poppy:
What? What am I rubbing in?

Helen:
I know what you're saying.

Poppy:
What am I saying?

Helen:
You think I've taken the easy option.

Zoe:
Hey, hang on, Helen. She didn't say that.

Helen:
That's what she meant.

Poppy:
No I didn't.

Suzy:
Now you're just blatantly insecure about your own life.

Poppy:
[trying to keep the peace] Alright, Suzy...

Helen:
That's not true.

Suzy:
Then why are you trying to control everyone else?

Scott:
Every week I ask you, "Please wear appropriate footwear." And every week you insist on wearing those stupid boots.

Poppy:
Yeah, sorry about that.

Scott:
You know what this is? This is vanity before safety.

Poppy:
Oh, right.

Scott:
"I'm sorry, Mrs Jones, I'm sorry. Poppy killed your child, but don't worry, she looked really cool in her sexy, seductive boots."

Poppy:
Hmm, am I keeping you awake at night?

Scott:
No.

Poppy:
You sure about that?