Harry O

Harry O:
A procedure? You go by the book this time, you'll have a dead star on your hands!

Harry O:
There'll be others.

Judy:
No, there won't be others.

Harry O:
Oh, that's right, you fixed it.

Judy:
Yes, I did.

Harry O:
You fixed it by framing Lester.

Judy:
What?

Harry O:
By framing Lester, it was *his* car that ran over Lynn Northrup! The pictures were in *his* files! You really fixed him, didn't you?

Judy:
That's a terrible thing to say, I didn't!

Harry O:
If you can't have him, nobody can have him?

Judy:
He's *my* husband!

Harry O:
That's a fantasy! The loss of virginity is *not* a marriage!

Lt. K.C. Trench:
Orwell... Why in the world should I bother answering your questions?

Harry O:
Because my feet hurt?

Harry O:
Trench, you have tunnel vision about your work. By your own admission, you do not drink in public, you do not socialize with other members of the department. You're a snob, you're opinionated, and what's worse, you're usually right.

Lt. K.C. Trench:
I don't know that you're the best judge of that, Orwell.

[first lines]

Harry Orwell:
Looking back on that day, I realize I would have been dead now if I'd been a better mechanic.

Harry Orwell:
Funny how you can spot trouble. I hadn't seen Margaret Ballinger for about six months. Maybe it was the way she stood there, not moving, just waiting for me, that warned me something was wrong.

[first lines]

Harry Orwell:
Some people think that catching fish depends on the fisherman. Some people think it depends on the fish. Well I kind of go along with the first group. No one ever asked the fish what they think.

[first lines]

Harry Orwell:
If the fog hadn't burned off early that morning, I wouldn't have gone fishing, and I might never have seen her. The perfect image of the good life. Like a travel brochure. Or a glossy advertisement for your favorite brand of cigarettes.

[first lines]

Harry Orwell:
My friend Manny Quinlan called in sick, took the day off, and came north to Los Angeles on family business. Two hours and 10 minutes by the legal speed limit. My friend Manny was a legal man. Behind him was his wife, his children, his job, his mother and his father, his brothers, and his sisters. My friend Manny was a family man. Very few people knew where Manny was going. Only the people who had to know. His mother and his brother Jesus knew what he was trying to do, but they didn't know where he was. His wife knew he was in Los Angeles, but she didn't know where in Los Angeles. My friend Manny was alone.

Harry Orwell:
Any honest policeman knows that if he's shot and killed in another city where he's not supposed to be and his body is found with $2,400 on it, then there has to be a scandal. And people have to question his honesty. But he can't answer for himself when he's dead. He knows that.

Harry Orwell:
$2,400 is a funny amount of money. It's $200 a month; $50 a week for a year; like a cheap and rotten policeman on a weekly payroll. Not a big crook, just a little crook without self respect.

Harry Orwell:
I came to pay my last respects. I was trying to avoid private grief in a public place. I got there after the funeral was over.

Harry Orwell:
My mother is dead, so's my father. And I never had a sister. Even Sherlock Holmes had a brother, but not me. All I have are my friends. If you take one of them away from me, you steal a piece of my life.

Harry Orwell:
I don't have information. If I want information I go to you. What I have is hunches.

Lt. K.C. Trench:
But I don't trust hunches.

Harry Orwell:
Well then what do you want me to share them with you for?

Lt. K.C. Trench:
That's why I always have mixed feelings.

Harry Orwell:
Put it on my gravestone, like in those old New England cemeteries. Stranger, pass not by for beneath this stone lies a man on whom judgment was passed with mixed feelings.

[first lines]

Harry Orwell:
Some days it doesn't pay to pursue your hobby. Some days your hobby can turn on you. Your hobby tries to hit you, hit it back. That's what I always say.

Lt. K.C. Trench:
[Harry answers his door; Trench and another detective push past him] Harry Orwell?

Harry Orwell:
Yeah, who're you?

Lt. K.C. Trench:
Trench. Lieutenant Trench.

Harry Orwell:
Whaddya want?

Lt. K.C. Trench:
Maybe you.

Lt. K.C. Trench:
You know I'm about to book you as an accessory, Orwell.

Harry Orwell:
Accessory to what?

Lt. K.C. Trench:
Don't play dumb.

Harry Orwell:
I'm not playing dumb. That's the real me, coming through.

Lt. K.C. Trench:
I like the way you operate, Orwell. Like a cop. Who knows? Maybe we'll get along. Just don't ever keep anything from me.

Harry Orwell:
When I was a cop I spent a lot of time around jails but never in one. I was beginning to understand how the bad guys felt. Stone walls do not a prison make, a poet once wrote, nor iron bars a cage. He was wrong.

Harry Orwell:
A clue is anything that doesn't happen the way it oughtta happen.

Gertrude Blainey:
I don't think you're the right detective for me.

Harry Orwell:
Gertrude, all detectives are immoral. And we all drink alcoholic beverages.

Gertrude Blainey:
[Gertrude hands Harry a beverage in a glass. He starts to drink it and puckers his lips] Oh, did I put too much sugar in there?

Harry Orwell:
No, it's very good for what it is.

Gertrude Blainey:
Oh, dear, I hope you weren't expecting liquor of some kind.

Harry Orwell:
Well, occasionally that's what people mean when they say refreshment.

[first lines]

Harry Orwell:
Where I wanted to be was in Idaho Falls, Idaho. Because that's where the circus was playing that day. I would have gotten in my car and gone there. It was only 970 miles, but the car was in Roy Bardello's garage for a new muffler and a starter motor rebuild. So I thought about that.

Harry Orwell:
There are a lot of cases I won't take. I don't have to. I have a bullet in my back that gives me a police disability pension. But how often does a private detective get a case where the clue is one shoe, left, civilian, but it belongs to a sailor? Besides which, you don't meet a lot of women who had voices like Gertrude's. If she looked like what she sounded like she looked like, I certainly didn't want anything bad to happen to her brother.

Harry Orwell:
Get yourself something to sleep in and bring the sugar canister.

Gertrude Blainey:
You mean a night gown?

Harry Orwell:
You sleep in a night gown?

Gertrude Blainey:
That isn't any of your business.

Harry Orwell:
Whatever you wear when you don't sleep at home.

Gertrude Blainey:
Sir!

Harry Orwell:
You're going to sleep at my house tonight.

Gertrude Blainey:
Why can't I sleep here?

Harry Orwell:
Mattress is lumpy.

Gertrude Blainey:
You're very skeptical.

Harry Orwell:
I am. You like the ocean?

Gertrude Blainey:
Sometimes I can't follow your sequiturs.

Harry Orwell:
Likewise.

Harry Orwell:
One of the collateral advantages of riding buses is that it's hard for anyone to tail a bus without giving himself away. A bus moves with a different rhythm than somebody's car. When I was on the force, I had to tail a guy in a bus once. It was the worst 45 minutes I ever spent.

Harry Orwell:
He thinks you're on that plane to Brazil.

Gertrude Blainey:
Were you so absolutely sure I wouldn't be?

Harry Orwell:
Well I thought the very best kind of young woman would not be on it, so I assumed you would not be on it. [Gertrude smiles] An act of faith.

Harry Orwell:
You see baseball teams win more games in their own ball parks. San Diego is my ball park and when you name a street, I can close my eyes and tell you where the traffic lights are. That also applies to bus stops.

Bill Dempsey:
Mr. Sawyer.

Paul Armin Sawyer:
Oh, no.

Paul Armin Sawyer:
Profession. Scavenging at human sewage. I'd scarcely call that a profession. I'm not at all surprised that my daughter hired you, Mr. Orwell. She has an outstanding talent for poor judgment.

Marian Sawyer:
You're beautiful. Not exactly handsome, but beautiful.

Harry Orwell:
I've always thought of myself exactly that way.

Harry Orwell:
Is Ms. Conners home?

Blanche Olney:
No she isn't.

Harry Orwell:
Will she be back soon?

Blanche Olney:
Yes.

Harry Orwell:
May I come in and wait?

Blanche Olney:
Is she expecting you?

Harry Orwell:
If she's a psychic she is.

[first lines]

Harry Orwell:
Shopping isn't one of my favorite things. Neither is planning ahead. Now how do I know what I'm gonna want for dinner tomorrow. How do I know I'm gonna want dinner tomorrow. How do I know there's gonna be a tomorrow. When you live alone your thinking gets funny. Next time I'll make a list.

[first lines]

Harry Orwell:
When they tore down my house in San Diego to make an empty place for a new high rise, I felt they were trying to tell me something. So I decided to stay in Santa Monica. I like my neighbors. I like the little bar I was sitting in. I like the piano player.

Harry Orwell:
Once when I was a little kid I built a castle out of some old soda pop bottles. Freddy was a mean kid who lived up the block. He came by and he knocked over my castle. Lt. Trench reminds me of Freddy.

Harry Orwell:
How old are you?

Girl Clerk:
19

Harry Orwell:
You ever go fishing?

Girl Clerk:
I'd love to.

Harry Orwell:
Sometimes when you go fishing you catch a little fish.

Girl Clerk:
Hmmm

Harry Orwell:
You can't keep those; you gotta throw 'em back. [pauses] If they're too young.

Girl Clerk:
You have to?

Harry Orwell:
[Nods slightly] It's a pity.

[first lines]

Harry Orwell:
In the desert people have a hard time living. They need water; they need shade. Otherwise, they die. Mostly people stay away.

Letty:
Tell me, Valentino, are you married?

Harry Orwell:
Well, I was once.

Letty:
To a young girl?

Harry Orwell:
She was when I married her.

Letty:
Have you got anything against mature women?

Harry Orwell:
No.

Letty:
Lot of rich widows in this world. You might give that some thought next time.

Harry Orwell:
[sees his ride back to town start to drive away] Hey! Hey! [pauses] Now what am I gonna do?

Letty:
Oh don't worry he'll be back in a week.

Harry Orwell:
Well what am I gonna do in the meantime?

Letty:
Where did I hear that you believe in happy endings?