Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Hermione:
Is that really what my hair looks like from the back?

Ron:
I'm warning you Hermione! Keep that bloody beast of yours away from Scabbers or I'll turn it into a tea cozy!

Hermione:
It's a cat, Ronald! What do you expect? It's in his nature.

Ron:
A cat? Is that what they told you? It looks more like a pig with hair if you ask me.

Hermione:
That's rich! Coming from the owner of that smelly old shoe brush. It's all right, Crookshanks, just ignore the mean little boy.

Professor Snape:
Well, well, Lupin. Out for a little walk... in the moonlight are we?

Hermione:
Did I mention it's the most haunted place in Britain?

Ron:
Twice.

Hermione:
Oh. Do you want to move a bit closer?

Ron:
Huh?

Hermione:
To the Shrieking Shack.

Ron:
Oh, no. I'm fine here.

Ron:
What the bloody hell was that all about?

Ron:
Bloody hell!

Hermione:
If you're going to kill Harry, you'll have to kill us, too.

Sirius Black:
Only one will die tonight.

Shrunken Head:
Watch your head!

Malfoy:
You're going to regret this.

Hagrid:
Class dismissed.

Malfoy:
You and your bloody chicken.

Professor Snape:
Expelliarmus! Ah vengeance is sweet. How I hoped I'd be the one to catch you.

Professor Snape:
I told Dumbledore you were helping an old friend enter the castle and now here's the proof.

Sirius Black:
Brilliant, Snape; once again you've put your keen and penetrating mind to the task and as usual come to the wrong conclusion. Now if you'll excuse us, Remus and I have some unfinished business to attend to.

Professor Snape:
Give me a reason. I beg you.

Professor Lupin:
Severus, don't be a fool.

Sirius Black:
He can't help it. It's habit by now.

Professor Lupin:
Sirius, be quiet...

Sirius Black:
Be quiet yourself, Remus!

Professor Snape:
Listen to you two, quarrelling like an old married couple.

Sirius Black:
Why don't you run along and play with your chemistry set?

Professor Snape:
I could do it you know. But why deny the Dementors? They're so longing to see you. Do I detect a flicker of fear? Ah yes. The Dementor's Kiss. One can only imagine what that must be like to endure. It's said to be nearly unbearable to witness but I'll do my best.

Hermione:
Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats, you know.

Ron:
Yeah, along with the dung beetle.

Harry:
"Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs are proud to present the Marauder's Map."

George Weasley:
We owe them so much.

Harry:
Hang on. This is Hogwarts. And that... No. Is that really...?

Fred Weasley:
Dumbledore.

George Weasley:
In his study.

Fred Weasley:
Pacing.

George Weasley:
Does that a lot.

Harry:
So you mean this map shows...?

Fred Weasley:
Everyone.

Harry:
Everyone?

George Weasley:
Everyone.

Fred Weasley:
Where they are.

George Weasley:
What they're doing.

Fred Weasley:
Every minute.

George Weasley:
Of every day.

Harry:
Brilliant! Where'd you get it?

Fred Weasley:
Nicked it from Filch's office, of course, first year.

George Weasley:
Now, listen. There are seven secret passageways out of the castle. We'd recommend...

George Weasley:

Fred Weasley:
The One-Eyed Witch passageway.

George Weasley:
It'll lead you straight to Honeyduke's cellar.

Fred Weasley:
We best hurry. Filch is heading this way.

George Weasley:
Oh, and Harry, don't forget. When you're done, just give it a tap and say...

George Weasley:

Cornelius Fudge:
Now write your name only.

Dumbledore:
It's quite a long name.

Professor Trelawney:
Your aura is pulsing my dear. Are you in the beyond? I think you are.

Ron:
Sure...

Professor Trelawney:
Cup... tell me what you see.

Ron:
Oh yeah um... well um Harry got sort of a wonky cross,

Ron:
that's 'trials and suffering'. And that there could be the sun and thats

Ron:
'happiness'. So you're gonna suffer but you'll gonna be happy about it.

Ron:
Hermione, how did you get here?

Professor Lupin:
Eat this. It'll help.

Harry:
Why would I go looking for someone who wants to kill me?

Professor Snape:
Have you any theories as to how Black got in?

Dumbledore:
Many, each as unlikely as the next.

Stan Shunpike:
Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard. My name is Stan Shunpike and I will be your conductor this evening.

Harry:
I knew I could do it because I already saw myself do it. Does that make any sense?

Hermione:
No...

Hermione:
BUT I DON'T LIKE FLYING!

Ron:
There's something moving out there.

Sirius Black:
It's cruel that I got to spend so much time with James and Lily, and you so little. But remember, the ones who love us never truly leave us. They will always be found in here.

Dumbledore:
A word of caution: dementors are vicious creatures. They will not distinguish between the one they hunt and the one who gets in their way. Therefore I must warn each and every one of you to give them no reason to harm you. It's not in the nature of a dementor to be forgiving. But you know happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, when one only remembers to turn on the light.

Professor Lupin:
You know the very first time I saw you, Harry, I recognized you immediately. Not by your scar, by your eyes. They're your mother, Lily's. Yes, oh yes. I knew her. Your mother was there for me at a time when no one else was. Not only was she a singularly gifted witch, she was also an uncommonly kind woman. She had a way of seeing the beauty in others even more perhaps. Most especially when that person couldn't see it in themselves. Then your father, James on the other hand, he uh ha, he had a certain shall we say talent for trouble. The talent, rumor has it, he passed onto you. You are more like them than you know, Harry. In time you'll come to see just how much.

Ron:
Neville, you're supposed to stroke it!

Harry:
Expecto Patronum!

Professor Lupin:
You are not weak, Harry. The Dementors affect you more because there are true horrors in your past, horrors your classmates can scarcely imagine. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

Harry:
I'm scared, Professor.

Professor Lupin:
Well, I'd consider you a fool if you weren't.

Harry:
But the Muggles. Can't they see us?

Stan Shunpike:
Muggles? They don't see nothin', do they?

Shrunken Head:
No, but if you jab them with a fork, they feel.

Professor Lupin:
Come in. Now, I don't know how this map came to be in your possession but I am astounded that you didn't hand it in. Did it never occur to you that this in the hands of Sirius Black is a map to you?

Harry:
No sir.

Professor Lupin:
No. You know your father never set much store by the rules either but he and your mother gave their lives to save yours. And running around the castle at night unprotected with a killer on the loose seems to me to be a pretty poor way to repay them. Now I will not cover for you again Harry. I want you to return to your dormitory and stay there. And don't take any detours, if you do I shall know.

Cornelius Fudge:
As the Minister of Magic it is my duty to inform you, Mr Potter, that at approximately 7:30 this evening your uncle's sister was located a little south of Sheffield, circling a chimney stack. The Accidental Magic Reversal squad was dispatched immediately, she has been properly punctured and her memory modified. She will have no recollection of the event whatsoever so that's that and no harm done. Pea soup?

Harry:
No thank you. Minister?

Cornelius Fudge:
Yes?

Harry:
I don't understand.

Cornelius Fudge:
Understand?

Harry:
I broke the law. Underage wizards aren't allowed to use magic at home.

Cornelius Fudge:
Come now Harry, the Ministry doesn't send people to Azkaban for blowing up their aunts.

Harry:
Professor, why do the dementors affect me so?

Professor Lupin:
Listen, dementors are among the foulest creatures to walk this earth. They feed on every good feeling, every happy memory until a person is left with nothing but his worst experiences. The dementors affect you more than others because there are true horrors in your past, horrors your classmates can scarcely imagine. You are not weak Harry.

Harry:
Poor Professor Lupin is having a really tough night.

Professor Trelawney:
Here in this room, you will discover if you possess the Sight!

Professor Lupin:
Our pain becomes their power.

Harry:
Nice punch.

Hermione:
Thanks.

Hermione:
At least somebody's enjoying himself.

Sirius Black:
Come out, come out, Peter! Come out, come out and play!

Professor Snape:
Potter, what are you doing wandering the corridors at night?

Harry:
I was sleepwalking.

Professor Snape:
How extraordinarily like your father you are Potter; he too was exceedingly arrogant, strutting about the castle.

Harry:
My Dad didn't strut, and nor did I. And if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you lower your wand.

Dumbledore:
Well?

Harry:
We did it.

Dumbledore:
Did what? Good night.

Harry:
It's not exactly a happy memory... it's complicated.

Professor Lupin:
Is it strong?

Hermione:
Ow! That looks really painful.

Ron:
It's sorta painful. They uh, they might... chop it.

Hermione:
I'm sure Madame Pomfrey will fix it in a heartbeat.

Ron:
It's too late, it's ruined. It'll have to be chopped off.

Aunt Marge:
They use the cane at St. Brutus's, boy?

Harry:
Oh. Yeah, yeah. I... I've been beaten loads of times.

Stan Shunpike:
What you doin' down there?

Harry:
I fell over.

Stan Shunpike:
Well, what you fell over for?

Harry:
I didn't do it on purpose.

Stan Shunpike:
Well come on then! Let's not wait for the grass to grow!

Ginny Weasley:
The Fat lady... she is gone!

Ron:
Serves her right. She was a terrible singer...

Hermione:
That's not funny, Ron!

Ron:
So Sirius Black has broken out of Azkaban to come after you?

Hermione:
But they'll catch Black, won't they? I mean, everyone's looking for him.

Ron:
Sure... except no one's broken out of Azkaban before and he's a murderous, raving lunatic.

Harry:
Thanks, Ron.

Professor Snape:
That is the second time you have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger. Are you incapable of restraining yourself, or do you take pride in being an insufferable know-it-all?

Ron:
He's got a point, you know.

Shrunken Head:
Ernie, little old lady at twelve o'clock!

Shrunken Head:
Ten... nine... eight... seven... six... five... four... 'tree'... 'tree' and a half... two... one and 'tree' quarters... YES!

Sirius Black:
Sorry about the bite, I reckon that twinges a bit.

Ron:
A bit? A bit? You almost tore my leg off!

Sirius Black:
I *was* going for the rat. Normally, I have a very sweet disposition as a dog. In fact, more than once, James suggested that I make the change permanent. The tail I could live with. But the fleas? They're murder.

Harry:
I didn't mean to blow her up, I just... lost control.

Ron:
Brilliant!

Hermione:
Honestly Ron, it's not funny! Harry was lucky not to be expelled.

Harry:
I think I was lucky not to have been arrested actually.

Ron:
I still think it's brilliant.

Ron:
She's gone mental, Hermione has! I mean, not that she wasn't always. But, now it's out there in the open for everyone to see.

Sirius Black:
Enough talk, let's kill him!

Professor Lupin:
Wait!

Sirius Black:
I DID MY WAITING! TWELVE YEARS OF IT! IN AZKABAN!

Young Witch Maid:
Housekeeping!

Young Witch Maid:
I'll come back later.

Stan Shunpike:
What did you say your name was again?

Harry:
I didn't.

Stan Shunpike:
Well, whereabout are you headed?

Harry:
The Leaky Cauldron! That's in London.

Stan Shunpike:
D'you hear that, Ern? The Leaky Cauldron that's in London.

Shrunken Head:
Ah, the Leaky Cauldron! You get the pea soup, make sure you eat it before it eats you!

George Weasley:
Not flashing that clipping again, are you, Ron?

Ron:
I haven't shown anyone!

Fred Weasley:
No, not a soul! Unless you count Tom.

George Weasley:
The day maid.

Fred Weasley:
The night maid.

George Weasley:
The cook.

Fred Weasley:
That bloke who came to fix the toilet.

George Weasley:
And that wizard from Belgium!

Percy Weasley:
I'm Head Boy!

Dumbledore:
For in dreams, we enter a world that's entirely our own.

Peter Pettigrew:
What would you have done, Sirius?

Sirius Black:
I would have died. Died rather than betray my friends, Peter.

Sirius Black:
Pettigrew's alive! And he's right there!

Ron:
Me? He's mental!

Sirius Black:
Not you! Your rat!

Hagrid:
Well, first the committee took turns in talking about 'why we were there'. Then I stood up and said my bit, how Buckbeak was a good hippogriff, always cleaned his feathers. And then Lucius Malfoy got up...

Dumbledore:
Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical Creatures teacher for many years, has decided to retire in order to spend more time with his remaining limbs.

Hagrid:
First thing you wanna know about hippogriffs, is that they're very proud creatures, very easily offended. You do not want to insult a hippogriff. It may just be the last thing you ever do. Now, who'd like to come and say hello?

Hagrid:
Well done, Harry, well done!

Harry:
But the Muggles! Can't they see us?

Stan Shunpike:
Muggles? They don't see nothing, do they?

Shrunken Head:
Yeah, but if you jab them with a fork, they feel it!

Cornelius Fudge:
You will be pleased to hear that two members of the Accidental Magical Reversal Department were dispatched to Privet Drive a few hours ago. Miss Dursley has been punctured and her memory has been modified. She has no recollection of the incident at all. So that's that, and no harm done.

Harry:
Professor, can I ask you something?

Professor Lupin:
You want to know why I stopped you fighting the boggart that other day? I would have thought that was obvious. I assumed that if you faced the boggart, it would assume the shape of Lord Voldemort.

Harry:
I did think of him at first. But then I remembered that night on the train. I thought of those dementors.

Professor Lupin:
I'm impressed, Harry. That suggests that what you fear most of all... is fear. Very wise.

Harry:
Lumos Maxima!

Hermione:
Harry, Harry!

Hermione:
So rude!

Ron:
Thick-heads.

Aunt Marge:
Do they use the cane at St. Brutus', boy?

Harry:
[catching Uncle Vernon's eye; sarcastically] Oh yeah, yeah, I've been beaten loads of times.

Aunt Marge:
Excellent. I won't hear any of this namby-pamby, wishy-washy nonsense about not beating someone when they deserve it. You mustn't blame yourself about how this one turned out, Vernon. It's all to do with blood. Bad blood will out. What is it that the boy's father did, Petunia?

Petunia:
Oh, nothing. He didn't work. He was unemployed.

Aunt Marge:
And a drunk too, no doubt?

Harry:
[irritated] That's a lie!

Aunt Marge:
What did you say?

Harry:
[getting angry] My dad wasn't a drunk!

[The glass Aunt Marge is holding suddenly breaks, causing the Dursleys to yelp]

Aunt Marge:
[notices what just happened] Oh, don't worry. Don't fuss, Petunia. I have a very firm grip.

Uncle Vernon:
[sternly to Harry] I think it's time you went to bed.

Aunt Marge:
Actually, it's nothing to do with the father, it has to do with the mother. You see it all the time with dogs. If there's something wrong with the b*tch, then there's something wrong with the pup.

Harry:
[yelling angrily at Aunt Marge with a snap] SHUT UP! SHUT UP!!

Aunt Marge:
Mm. Right! Let me tell you... y-y-- [Her finger starts to inflate.]

[A short time later, Harry is about to leave the house shortly after inflating Aunt Marge for insulting his parents and she flew away]

Uncle Vernon:
[angrily, shouting at the top of his lungs at Harry] You bring her back!! You bring her back now, you put her right!

Harry:
No! She deserved what she got! [Uncle Vernon furiously tries to grab Harry with a savage yell, but Harry stands up to him with his wand] Keep away from me.

Uncle Vernon:
You're not allowed to do magic outside school.

Harry:
Yeah? Try me.

Uncle Vernon:
They won't let you back now. You have nowhere to go.

Harry:
I don't care. Anywhere's better than here. [angrily leaves the house and storms off]

Fred:
You're not flashing that clipping about again, are you Ron?

Ron:
I haven't shown anyone!

George:
No, not a soul!

Fred:
Not unless you count Tom...

George:
The day maid...

Fred:
The night maid...

George:
That bloke came to who fix the toilet...

Fred:
And that wizard from Belgium!

The Fat Lady:
[In a painting; she sings while holding a glass] Ah ah ah ahhh!

Harry:
Fortuna Major.

The Fat Lady:
No, wait, wait! [Sings in a higher pitch] Ah ah ah ahhh!

Harry:
[Irritated] Fortuna Major.

The Fat Lady:
No, no, no! Wait, wait! Watch this! [Screams] Ah ah ah AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! [The Fat Lady surreptitiously looks around to make sure nobody's watching, then smashes the glass on a pillar in the painting] Oh, amazing! Just with my voice!

Harry:
[Impatient] Fortuna Major!

The Fat Lady:
[Petulant] Yes, all right, all right, you can go in.

[The door behind her opens to let the students in.]

Harry:
[Exasperated] Thank you!

The Fat Lady:
Plebs.

[Harry's lying in the hospital wing, unconscious, after getting injured during a Quidditch game.]

Ron:
He looks a bit peaky, doesn't he?

George:
Peaky?

Fred:
What do you expect? He fell over 100 feet.

George:
Yeah, Ron. Let's walk you off the top of the Astronomy tower.

Fred:
And see what you look like.

Harry:
[coming to] Probably a right sight better than he normally does.

George:
Gave us a right good scare there, mate.

Hermione:
Harry, are you all right?

Harry:
[jokingly] Brilliant. [serious again] What happened?

Ron:
Well, you fell off your broom.

Harry:
[sarcastically] Oh, really? I meant the match. Who won?

Hermione:
Um... no one blames you, Harry. The Dementors aren't supposed to come inside the grounds. Dumbledore was furious. As soon as he saved you, he sent them straight off.

Ron:
There's um... something else you should know about, too, Harry. When you fell, your broom, it sort of blew into the Whomping Willow and... [Holds up what's left of the destroyed handle of Harry's Nimbus 2000] ...Well.

Harry:
[looking at the Marauder's Map for the first time] Hang on. This is Hogwarts. And that... no. Is that really...?

Fred:
Dumbledore...

George:
In his study....

Fred:
Pacing...

George:
Does that a lot.

Harry:
So this map shows...

Fred:
Everyone.

Harry:
Everyone?

George:
Everyone.

Fred:
Where they are...

George:
...what they're doing...

Fred:
...every minute...

George:
...of every day!

Harry:
Brilliant!

[Professor Snape has caught Harry in a hallway.]

Professor Snape:
Potter. What are you doing wandering the corridors at night?

Harry:
I was sleepwalking.

Snape:
How extraordinarily like your father, you are, Potter. He too was exceedingly arrogant, strutting about the castle.

Harry:
[irritated] My dad didn't strut. And nor do I. Now if you don't mind, I would appreciate it if you would lower your wand.

Snape:
[Lowers his wand, level with the pocket on the hooded sweater Harry is wearing] Turn out your pockets. [Harry just stands there] [sternly] Turn out your pockets. [Harry takes out the Marauder's Map] What's this?

Harry:
Spare bit of parchment.

Snape:
Really? Open it. [Harry opens the map; Snape puts his wand on the map] Reveal your secrets. [To Harry, as the logo seems to appear] Read it.

Harry:
[reading the map's text] "Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs... offer their compliments to Professor Snape and..."

Snape:
Go on.

Harry:
[still reading, amused] "...and request that he keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business."

Snape:
Why you insolent, little--!

Professor Lupin:
[approaching Snape from the back] Professor.

Snape:
Well, well. Lupin. Out for a little walk in the moonlight, are we?

Lupin:
[to Harry] Harry, are you all right?

Snape:
That remains to be seen. [takes the Marauder's Map] I have just now confiscated a rather curious artifact from Mr. Potter. Take a look, Lupin. Supposed to be your area of expertise. Clearly, it's full of Dark Magic.

Lupin:
I seriously doubt it, Severus. It looks to me as though it's merely a parchment designed to insult anyone who tries to read it. [chuckles] I suspect it's a Zonko product. Nevertheless, I shall investigate any hidden qualities it may possess. It is, after all, as you say, my area of expertise. [to Harry] Harry, would you come with me, please. [to Professor Snape] Professor, good night.

[Hermione sees Malfoy laughing about Buckbeak, Hagrid's hippogriff, being executed that night.]

Draco Malfoy:
[to Crabbe and Pike] Father said I could have the hippogriff's head. Maybe I'll donate it to the Gryffindor Common Room.

Crabbe:
Look who's here.

Draco Malfoy:
Ah! Come to see the show?

Hermione:
[furiously] You! You foul, loathsome, evil, little cockroach! [holds Malfoy at wandpoint]

Ron:
Hermione, no! He's not worth it!

[Hermione relaxes and takes her wand away from Malfoy, but almost immediately punches him in the face. He and his gang run off, panicking.]

Hermione:
That felt good.

Ron:
[impressed] Not good. Brilliant!

Lupin:
Severus, don't be a fool.

Sirius:
He can't help it Remus, it's habit by now.

Lupin:
Sirius, be quiet.

Sirius:
Be quiet yourself, Remus!

Snape:
Oh listen to you two, quarreling like an old married couple.

Sirius:
Why don't you run along and play with your chemistry set?

Snape:
[puts wand on Sirius' throat] I could do it, you know? But why deny the Dementors, when they're so longing to see you? Do I detect a flicker of fear? Ah yes, a Dementor's Kiss. One can only imagine what that must be like to endure. It's said to be nearly unbearable to witness but I'll do my best!

Harry:
Tell me about Peter Pettigrew.

Lupin:
He was at school with us. We thought he was our friend.

Harry:
No. Pettigrew's dead. [to Sirius] You killed him!

Lupin:
No he didn't. I thought so too until you mention seeing Pettigrew on the map.

Harry:
The map was lying, then.

Sirius:
The map never lies! Pettigrew's alive! And he's [points to Scabbers] right there!

Ron:
Me?! He's mental!

Sirius:
Not you! You're rat!

Ron:
Scabbers has been in my family for...

Sirius:
Twelve years? Curiously long life for a common garden rat! He's missing a toe, isn't he?

Ron:
So what?!

Harry:
All they could find left of Pettigrew was his...

Sirius:
Finger! But then the dirty coward cut it off so that everyone would think he was dead! And then he transformed into a rat!

Harry:
Show me. [Sirius tries to take the rat from Ron, but Ron holds onto it] Give it to him, Ron.

Ron:
What are you trying do to him? [Sirius finally gets a hold of the rat] Scabbers! Leave him alone! [tries to run toward Sirius, but Hermione holds him back] Get off him! What are you doing? Scabbers!

[Sirius drops the rat, which runs while Sirius finally transforms it into Peter Pettigrew; he and Remus pull him out of the hole, Ron has a shocked look on his face]

Peter Pettigrew:
[realizes he's not a rat anymore] Remus? S-Sirius? My old friends! [runs toward the door, but Lupin and Sirius block him] Harry. Look at you. [walks toward Harry] You look so much like your father. Like James! We were the best of friends...

Sirius:
How dare you speak to Harry?! [Pettigrew scowls and runs away from Sirius] How dare you talk about James in front of him?!

Lupin:
You sold James and Lily to Voldemort, didn't you?!

Pettigrew:
I didn't mean to! The Dark Lord. You have no idea the weapons he possesses! Ask yourself, Sirius! What would you've done? What would you've done?

Sirius:
I would have died! [Pettigrew crawls under piano] I would have died rather than betray my friends!

Pettigrew:
[runs over to Harry, whispering to him] Harry, James wouldn't have wanted me killed! Your dad... your dad would have spared me! He would shown me mercy...!

[Lupin and Sirius yank him off Harry]

Sirius:
Should've realized, Peter, that if Voldemort didn't kill you, then we would! [he and Lupin pull out their wands and point them and Pettigrew] Together!

Harry:
No!

Lupin:
Harry, this man is...

Harry:
I know what he is. But we'll take him up to the castle.

Pettigrew:
Bless you, boy! Bless you!

[kneels to Harry]

Harry:
Get off! I said we'll take you to the castle. After that, the dementors can have you.

Sirius:
It's beautiful, isn't it? I'll never forget the first time I walked through those doors. It'll be nice to do it again as a free man. That was a noble thing you did back there. He doesn't deserve it.

Harry:
Well, I just didn't think my dad would've wanted his two best friends to become killers. Besides, dead the truth dies with him. Alive, you're free.

Pettigrew:
Turn me into a maggot! Turn me into a flobberworm! Anything but the dementors! Ron! Haven't I been a good friend? A good pet? You won't let them give me to the dementors, will you? I was your rat! Sweet girl! Clever girl! Surely you won't let them...

Ron:
[to Harry and Hermione, who have just disappeared and reappeared in thin air] How did you get there? I was just talking to you there! And now you're there!

Hermione:
What's he talking about, Harry?

Harry:
I don't know. Honestly Ron, how can somebody be in two places at once?

Draco Malfoy:
God, this place has gone to the dogs. Wait until my father hears that Dumbledore's got this oaf teaching classes.

[He, Crabbe, and Pike laugh]

Harry:
Shut up, Malfoy.

Draco, Crabbe, and Pike:
Ooh. [Draco drops his bag on Crabbe and faces Harry as if to fight him then he points] Dementor, Dementor.

[Harry and everyone else looks around startled. With their backs turned many Slytherins, including Pike and all the members of Malfoy's gang, cover their heads, in an attempt to resemble the Dementors.]

Slytherin students:
Oooooooooooh!

Lupin:
Very well, Kill him. But wait one more minute Harry has the right to know why.

Harry:
(to Sirius) I know why! You betrayed my parents! You're the reason they're dead!

Lupin:
No, Harry, it wasn't him. Somebody did betray your parents but it was somebody who, until quite recently, I believed to be dead!

Harry:
Who was it then?!

Sirius:
Peter Pettigrew! And he's in this room, right now! Come out, come out, Peter! Come out, come out and play!

Snape:
[barges in and disarms Sirius' wand] Expelliarmus!

Draco Malfoy:
Potter? [Harry turns] Is it true you fainted? [Pike pretends to swoon] I mean that you actually fainted?!

Ron:
[turning Harry away] Shove off, Malfoy!