Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Hagrid:
You're the boy who lived.

Hagrid:
Who told you 'bout Fluffy?

Ron:
Fluffy?

Hermione:
That thing has a name?

Dumbledore:
It does not do to dwell on dreams, Harry, and forget to live.

Ron:
It's spooky! She knows more about you than you do!

Harry:
Who doesn't?

Mr. Ollivander:
I think it is clear that we can expect great things from you.

Dumbledore:
Dear Mr. Potter, we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Soon, you and your schoolmates will join us here, and your education in the magical arts will begin.

Hermione:
Now, if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed. Or worse, expelled.

Ron:
She needs to sort out her priorities.

Hagrid:
I lent him to Dumbledore to guard the...

Harry:
Yes?

Hagrid:
I shouldn't have told you that. No more questions, don't ask anymore questions!

Hermione:
Stop moving, both of you. This is devil's snare! You have to relax. If you don't, it'll only kill you faster!

Ron:
Kill us faster? Oh, now I can relax!

Hagrid:
You're a wizard, Harry!

Harry:
I'm a what?

Hermione:
Harry, no way! You heard what Madame Hooch said, besides, you don't even know how to fly!

Hermione:
What an idiot!

Hermione:
You'll be okay, Harry. You're a great wizard. You really are.

Harry:
Not as good as you.

Hermione:
Me? Books and cleverness. There are more important things: friendship and bravery. And Harry, just be careful.

Hermione:
Ron, you don't suppose this is going to be like . . real wizard's chess, do you?

Ron:
Yes Hermione, I think this is going to be exactly like wizard's chess.

Harry:
I swear I don't know. One second the glass was there and the next it was gone. It was like magic.

Uncle Vernon:
There is no such thing as magic!

Draco Malfoy:
Think my name's funny, do you? No need to ask you yours. Red hair... and a hand-me-down robe... you must be a Weasley.

Dumbledore:
What happened in the dungeon between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret, so naturally, the whole school knows.

Dumbledore:
I was unfortunate enough in my youth to come across a vomit-flavored one, and since then I have rather lost my liking for them. But, I think I could be safe with a nice toffee.

Dumbledore:
...Hmm, alas, earwax.

Ron:
Wingardium leviosa!

Hermione:
Stop, stop stop! You're going to take someone's eye out. Besides, you're saying it wrong. It's Levi-o-sa, not Levio-sar

Ron:
You're a little scary sometimes, you know that. Brilliant. But scary.

Hagrid:
Dry up Dursley, you great prune!

Percy Weasley:
And keep an eye on the staircases. They like to change.

Hermione:
Look at you playing with your cards. Pathetic! We've got final exams coming up soon.

Ron:
I'm ready! Ask me any questions.

Hermione:
All right, what's the three most crucial ingredients in a Forgetfulness Potion?

Ron:
I forgot.

Hermione:
And what may I ask do you plan to do if this comes up in the final exam?

Ron:
Copy off you?

Hermione:
No, you won't! Besides, according to Professor McGonagall, we're to be given special quills bewitched with an anti-cheating spell.

Ron:
That's insulting! It's as if they don't trust us!

Aunt Petunia:
This is what you're going to be wearing when I finish dying it.

Harry:
But that's Dudley's old uniform! It'll fit me like bits of old elephant skin.

Professor Severus Snape:
For your information Potter, Asphodel and Wormwood making a sleeping potion so powerful it is known as the draught of the living dead, a Beozar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and will save you from most poisons. As for Monkshood and Wolfsbane, they are the same plant which also goes by the name of Aconyte. Well, why aren't you all copying this down?

Harry:
Good of you to get us out of trouble like that.

Ron:
Mind you, we did save her life!

Harry:
Mind you, she might not have needed saving if you hadn't insulted her.

Ron:
What are friends for?

Hagrid:
Blimey, I'd love a dragon.

Harry:
You'd like a dragon?

Hagrid:
Fascinating but misunderstood beasts, Harry. Fascinating but misunderstood.

Professor Quirrel:
Troll! In the dungeons!

Professor Quirrel:
Thought you ought to know.

Seamus Finnigan:
I'm half and half. Dad's a muggle, Mam's a witch. Bit of a nasty shock for him when he found out.

Draco Malfoy:
So it's true then, what they were saying on the train. Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts.

Caretaker Argus Filch:
A pity they let the old punishment die... Was a time detention found you hanging by your thumbs in the dungeons... God, I miss the screaming.

Oliver Wood:
Scared, Harry?

Harry:
A little.

Oliver Wood:
It's all right. I felt the same way before my first game.

Harry:
What happened?

Oliver Wood:
Er, I don't really remember. I took a bludger to the head two minutes in. Woke up in the hospital a week later.

Dudley Dursley:
Daddy's gone mad hasn't he?

Professor McGonagall:
This boy will be famous. There won't be a child in our world who doesn't know his name.

Harry:
I can't be a wizard. I'm just Harry, just Harry.

Mr. Ollivander:
It's curious that you should be destined for this wand when its brother gave you that scar.

Professor Severus Snape:
There will be no foolish wand-waving or silly incantations in this class... As such, I don't expect many of you to appreciate the subtle science and exact art that is potion-making. However, for those select few

Professor Severus Snape:
, who possess, the pre-disposition... I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death.

Professor Severus Snape:
Then again, maybe some of you have come to Hogwarts in possession of abilities so formidable that you feel confident enough to NOT... PAY... ATTENTION.

Professor Severus Snape:
Mister Potter. Our... new... celebrity.

Neville Longbottom:
The only problem is I can't remember what I've forgotten.

Ron:
I think we've had a bad influence on her.

Ron:
It's you that has to go on, Harry. I know it. Not me. Not Hermione. You!

Dumbledore:
It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends.

Dumbledore:
It was one of my more brilliant ideas. And between you and me, that is saying something.

Dumbledore:
And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a most painful death.

Ron:
That was bloody brilliant!

Professor McGonagall:
Well, thank you for that assessment, Mr Weasley. Perhaps it would be more useful if I were to transfigure Mr Potter and yourself into a pocket watch. That way, one of you might be on time.

Harry:
We got lost.

Professor McGonagall:
Then perhaps a map? I trust you don't need one to find your seats.

Ron:
What do they think they're doing, keeping a thing like that locked up in a school?

Hermione:
You don't use your eyes, do you? Didn't you see what it was standing on?

Ron:
I wasn't looking at its feet! I was a bit preoccupied with its heads... or maybe you didn't notice? There were three!

Hagrid:
Isn't he beautiful? Oh, bless him! Look! He knows his mummy! 'alo Norbert!

Harry:
Norbert?

Hagrid:
Yeah, well, he's gotta have a name, don't he?

Ron:
Mental that one, I'm telling you.

Oliver Wood:
Nasty little buggers.

Hagrid:
Not all wizards are good.

Lord Voldemort:
There is no good and evil, there is only power, and those too weak to seek it...

Professor Quirrel:
Yes, he does seem the type, doesn't he? Why, next to him, who would suspect p-p-poor, st-st-stuttering Professor Quirrell?

Ron:
Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow, turn this stupid, fat rat yellow!

Uncle Vernon:
He'll not be going!

Hagrid:
Oh, and I suppose a great muggle like yourself is gonna stop him, are ya?

Harry:
I think if he had the chance, he would have killed me tonight.

Ron:
And to think, I've been worrying about my potions final.

Fred Weasley:
Well done, Harry. Wood just told us.

Ron:
Fred and George are on the team, too. Beaters.

George Weasley:
Our job is to make sure you don't get bloodied up too bad. Can't make any promises, though. Rough game, Quidditch.

Fred Weasley:
Brutal, but no one died in years. Someone will vanish occasionally, but they always turn up in a month or two!

Professor Severus Snape:
What would three young Gryffindors such as yourselves be doing inside... on a day like this?

Professor Severus Snape:
You ought to be more careful. People with think you're...

Professor Severus Snape:
up... to something.

Caretaker Argus Filch:
For God's sake, pull yourself together man. You're going into the Forest after all. Got to have your wits about you eh?

Draco Malfoy:
The Forest? I thought that was a joke. We can't go in there. Students aren't allowed. And there are...

Draco Malfoy:
...werewolves.

Caretaker Argus Filch:
Oh, there's more than werewolves in those trees, you can be sure of that. Nighty night.

Mr. Ollivander:
We can expect great things from you. After all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things. Terrible, yes! But great!

Harry:
Excuse me sir, can you tell me where I might find Platform 9 and 3 quarters?

Station Guard:
9 and 3 quarters? Think you're being funny do ya?

Station Guard:
9 and 3 quarters!

Harry:
Sorry.

Hermione:
Sorry.

Ron:
It's for your own good, you know.

Ron:
I look good!

Sorting Hat:
Hmm, difficult. VERY difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind, either. There's talent, oh yes. And a thirst to prove yourself. But where to put you?

Harry:
Not Slytherin. Not Slytherin.

Sorting Hat:
Not Slytherin, eh? Are you sure? You could be great, you know. It's all here in your head. And Slytherin can help you on your way to greatness, there's no doubt about that. No?

Harry:
Anything but Slytherin, anything but Slytherin.

Sorting Hat:
Then, better be... GRYFFINDOR!

Sorting Hat:
Ah! Another Weasley. I know just what to do with you.

Seamus Finnigan:
Eye of rabbit, heartstring hum, turn this water into rum.

Harry:
What's Seamus trying to do to that glass of water?

Ron:
Turn it into rum. He managed a weak tea yesterday before...

Professor McGonagall:
Are the rumors true, Albus?

Dumbledore:
I'm afraid so, Professor. The good... and the bad.

Hermione:
Honestly, don't you two read?

Draco Malfoy:
OK. Then I get Fang!

Hagrid:
Fine. Just so you know, he's a bloody coward.

Hermione:
That's totally barbaric!

Ron:
That's wizard's chess.

Harry:
Say, Percy, who's that teacher talking to Professor Quirrell?

Percy Weasley:
That's Professor Snape, head of Slytherin House.

Harry:
What does he teach?

Percy Weasley:
Potions. But everyone knows it's the Dark Arts he fancies. He's been after Quirrell's job for *years*.

Draco Malfoy:
You'll soon find out that some wizarding families are better than others, Potter. You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort.

Harry:
I think I can pick out the wrong sorts, thank you.

Nearly Headless Nick:
Hello, how are you? Welcome to Gryffindor!

Professor Severus Snape:
There will be no foolish wand waving or silly incantations in this class.

Mr. Ollivander:
The wand chooses the wizard, Mr. Potter. It's not always clear why.

Hagrid:
What are you lookin' at?

Hagrid:
If that dolt of a cousin of yours, Dudley, gets up to any mischief, you could always threaten him with a nice pair of ears, to go with that tail.

Harry:
But, Hagrid, we,re not allowed to do magic outside Hogwarts.

Hagrid:
I know that, but your cousin don't, do he?

Professor Severus Snape:
Tell me, what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?

Professor Severus Snape:
You don't know? Well, let's try again... Where, Mr. Potter, would you look if I asked you to get me a bezoar?

Harry:
I don't know, sir.

Professor Severus Snape:
And what is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?

Harry:
I don't know, sir.

Professor Severus Snape:
Pity... clearly, fame isn't everything, is it, Mr. Potter?

Snape:
Turn to page 394

Ron:
You're a little scary sometimes, You know that, brilliant, But Scary