Have a Heart

Dr. Spear:
Dr. Perenz charges you according to what you have.

Joan O'Day:
Hooray! We'll get him for nothing.

Dr. Spear:
[Joan laughs.] All you'd need would be your hospital expenses, say, $500.

Sally Moore:
Oh, well I haven't $500.

Joan O'Day:
What're you talking about? You have 220, haven't you? [Joan nods] Well I have 106, and my poor brainless Gus has 80. Why, it's a cinch that in the next ten days we can get the balance. I'll get the money if I hafta... Well, nevermind, I'll get the money!

Gus Anderson:
[Joan, who's a beautician, is giving Gus a manicure] The trouble with you dizzy dames is ya don't know how to make big money.

Joan O'Day:
Hold still, willya? I suppose you do. You're nothing but a bundle-wrapper outta work.

Gus Anderson:
A shipping clerk in quest of a situation, [takes his left hand out of the soaking solution, and shakes his wet finger at her] if ya don't mind!

Joan O'Day:
Hey, quit that, willya?

Gus Anderson:
Besides, it won't be long until I'm one of the biggest racketeers in the country. I'm gonna be a success, I am. Wait and see.

Joan O'Day:
I don't expect to live that long. [holding his hand and making a mock gasp] Mr. Baumgarten, what beautiful moons you have!

Gus Anderson:
Aw, now look here smarty, come across willya? All I'm askin' is for five dollars of m'own money. I'll run it up to 200 over the weekend.

Joan O'Day:
Hmm, like ya ran up that last five dollars I gave ya down to fourteen cents.

Gus Anderson:
[As Joan starts to trim his nails with a scissors] Well, can't a fella get a bad break? Ouch! Go easy!

Joan O'Day:
Alright, Clarissa.

Gus Anderson:
I shoulda known better than to play cards on a rainy Friday the thirteenth.

Joan O'Day:
Ya shoulda known better than to play cards with that mob of thieves ya hang around with. Ya know they cheatcha.

Gus Anderson:
Well, maybe they do, a little. But they're such nice guys. Anyhow, I hafta learn the angles, haven't I? Besides, I've got a way of gettin' even with 'em if I just had a five-dollar stake. [Tickling her under the chin with his wet hand] Aw, ya look so pretty today, ducky-wucky.

Joan O'Day:
[Wiping her chin with a towel] You know better than to ducky-wucky me.

Gus Anderson:
Alright, alright, Brain Trust, if ya don't believe me, just look at this. Right there. [He hands her a folded newspaper showing an ad that reads "SURPRISE YOUR FRIENDS! Get a pack of Sure-Fire Playing Cards. You can tell at a glance what cards your opponents hold in their hands!"]

Joan O'Day:
[reading aloud from the ad] "IT CAN'T MISS! IT CAN'T FAIL! Send $2.00 today. P. O. Box 432, Wilmington, South Dakota." Well, I must say, that's a nice surprise for your friends. Did you send the two dollars?

Gus Anderson:
The cards'll be here any day. Do I get the five?

Joan O'Day:
You're one of MY friends aren't cha?

Gus Anderson:
Sure.

Joan O'Day:
Well, I've got a nice surprise for you, ducky wucky. NO!

Gus Anderson:
That's the trouble with you dames, no foresight, no vision....

Joan O'Day:
Alright, ox-heart, back to your pasture, I'm through with your hoofs.

Joan O'Day:
[to Gus] If ya HAD a brain, I'd brain ya!