Hello, Dolly!

Horace:
Advice is cheap Ms. Molloy. It's the things that come gift wrapped that count!

Horace:
It takes a woman all powdered and pink to joyously clean out the drain in the sink!

Dolly Levi:
Here, let me cut your wings!

Horace:
I don't want my wings cut!

Dolly Levi:
No man does, Horace, no man does.

Dolly Levi:
Money, pardon the expression, is like manure. It's not worth a thing unless it's spread around, encouraging young things to grow.

Barnaby Tucker:
Holy cabooses!

Cornelius Hackl:
We're gonna close the store.

Barnaby Tucker:
Close the store?

Cornelius Hackl:
We have to, 'cause some rotten cans of chicken mash are going to explode.

Barnaby Tucker:
Holy cabooses, how do you know?

Cornelius Hackl:
Because I'm gonna light some candles under them.

Joe, Vandergelder's barber:
You'll have to sit still Mr Vandergelder, if I cut your throat it'll be practically unintentional.

Horace:
I'm going to march in the 14th street parade with the only kind of people I can trust, 700 men.

Horace:
Eighty percent of the people in the world are fools and the rest of us are in danger of contamination.

Dolly Levi:
And on those cold winter nights, Horace, you can snuggle up to your cash register. It's a little lumpy, but it rings!

Dolly Levi:
Hello! Hello there, how are you? Oh Hello!

Horace:
You know too many people.

Dolly Levi:
Total strangers!

Horace:
Then why do you greet them?

Dolly Levi:
It makes me feel good to have so many friends.

Horace:
Oh, say hello for me too then.

Dolly Levi:
I already did.

Dolly Levi:
As my late husband, Ephraim Levi, used to say, 'If you have to live from hand-to-mouth, you'd better be ambidextrous.'

Ambrose Kemper:
This doesn't concern her!

Dolly Levi:
Mr. Kemper, everything concerns Dolly Levi!

Horace:
You are a seven-foot-tall nincompoop!

Ambrose Kemper:
That's an insult!

Horace:
All the facts about you are insults!

Sullivan, ticket seller:
Where to, Dolly?

Dolly Levi:
Yonkers, New York, to handle a highly personal matter for Mr. Horace Vandergelder, the well-known, unmarried, half-a-millionaire.

Sullivan, ticket seller:
Gonna marry him yourself, Dolly?

Dolly Levi:
Why, Mr. Sullivan, whatever put such a preposterous idea into my head... Your head!

Irene Molloy:
Do get done with that, Minnie. The men are eyeing us for the wrong reasons.

Minnie Fay:
A banana a day keeps the doctor away.

Irene Molloy:
You mean an apple a day.

Minnie Fay:
Who ever heard of a doctor slipping on an apple peel?

Rudolph Reisenweber:
No expression. Let the food smile.

Irene Molloy:
Minnie, I don't mind that you never finish your lunch, but I do mind that you never finish your sentences.

Dolly Levi:
Goodness, the whole room is crawling with men. Irene, my dear, congratulations.

Irene Molloy:
What's this? A return from Miss Mortimer again?

Minnie Fay:
Same old story, cherries and feathers, cherries and feathers. To catch a beau I suppose.

Irene Molloy:
If you ask me, she'd do better with a heavy veil.

Cornelius Hackl:
I've lost everything: my job, my future, everything people *think* is important, but I don't care - because even if I have to dig ditches for the rest of my life, I shall be a ditch-digger who once had a wonderful day.

Dolly Levi:
Mr. Kemper, do you mind if we go inside? I'm feeling an updraft in my underpants!

Irene Molloy to Minnie Fay (about Cornelius and Barnaby):
We'll heat them up, then drop them cold. It'll be good practice for married life.