Help!

Clang:
Without the ring, there is no sacrifice, with out the sacrifice there is no congregation, without the congregation there'll be no... more... me.

Clang:
We must find the ring.

Bhuta:
Has nobody looked in the wash basin?

Ringo:
Hey someone's got hold of me finger!

John:
Are you trying to attract attention again?

John:
Stop dragging things down to your own level, it's immature son.

Ringo:
Well I... Well I thought she was a sandwich, 'til she went spare on me finger.

Bhuta:
It's cold, it's a cold place.

Ringo:
Hey! Have you been messing about with me in my kip?

John:
Eh?

Ringo:
No, I mean, you know, with a fishing rod.

John:
I wouldn't touch it with a plastic one. What are you doing on the floor?

Ringo:
I'm tired.

Clang:
Hey Be-a-tle! How about this ay?... Shufty... Gold! All of it pure gold in easy to handle denominational nuggets. Not marked, not a mark on 'em, ay?

Paul:
No, I 'ate them.

Ahme:
No!

Paul:
I, I do! I mean they make your fingers go green.

Ahme:
It is not the Beatle with the ring, he.

Paul:
Aren't I?

Clang:
Quickly, quickly.

Bhuta:
Yes, yes.

Clang:
In, in.

Bhuta:
Right, right.

Clang:
All in together now Sir.

Clang:
What! Arrgghh!

Bhuta:
Shilling

Clang:
Shilling?

Bhuta:
Oh, Shilling.

Clang:
Shilling, now.

Bhuta:
Off, off.

Ringo:
What was it that first attracted you to me?

John:
Well, you're very polite, aren't you?

Ringo:
There's more here than meets the eye!

George:
Ho ho.

John:
Ho.

George:
Ho ho.

John:
Ho.

George:
Ho ho ho

John:
Ho ho!

George:
Ho ho.

John:
Huh ho.

John:
Doesn't the blood rush to your head Sir?

George:
Doesn't the eastern flavor come rather expensive?

Paul:
Doesn't the blood rush to your stomach?

Ahme:
He has three hours to live.

Paul:
Say no more.

Ahme:
I can say no more.

John:
What's this?

Ringo:
It's a season ticket. What do you think it is?

John:
Oh. I like a lot of seasoning in me soup.

George:
There's somebody been in this soup.

Professor Foot:
MIT was after me, you know. Wanted me to rule the world for them.

George:
What's your electric bill like?

Algernon:
Sort of a long counterfoil!

John:
How do you feel?

Ringo:
I used to use me hands.

John:
He used to use his hands.

Ringo:
I like surgery, it gives you a sense of out look, you know.

Professor Foot:
Voltage, VOLTAGE! Up up. Up up

Paul:
Up, up.

John:
Up

Ringo:
Are you sure I'm earthed?

Algernon:
Oh no! Er, hold on, thank you.

Professor Foot:
He's an idiot. Degree in woodwork. I ask you!

Algernon:
Stop him? Me? It's more than my job's worth to stop him once he gets started. He's out to rule the world... if he can get a government grant.

Professor Foot:
It's the brain drain, his brain's draining.

Ahme:
Hold! Release him or I shoot, and I am a dead-eye shot, shooting.

Jeweller:
We have all sorts of little problems like this, sir. Some of them matrimonial!

Bhuta:
Alright, alright. Synchronize your watches. You, you, you and you, paint him red, then kill him!

John:
Get me the Home Office. He's wrecking my home!

John:
How do you know you're not just as filthy and sent by him to nick the ring by being filthy when you have lulled us with your filthy eastern ways?

Paul:
What filthy eastern ways are those?

George:
Hey, it's a thingie! A fiendish thingie!

Superintendent:
So this is the famous Beatles?

John:
So this is the famous Scotland Yard ay?

Superintendent:
How long do you think you'll last?

John:
Can't say fairer than that. Great Train Robbery, ay? How's that going?

Ringo:
They have to paint me red before they chop me. It's a different religion from ours. I think.

John:
Hold on, it's them! Only me and Paul know we're here.

George:
I know we're here.

Superintendent:
Allow me, I'm a bit of a famous mimic in my own small way you know. James Cagney...

Superintendent:
Hey, this is the famous Ringo here, gear fab...

George:
Not a bit like Cagney.

Clang:
Go to the window .

John:
Hey! It's them!

Clang:
Go to the window, Go to the window, Go to the window, Go to the window.

Clang:
Take this hastily scribbled note, hastily to acting Lance Corporal Bhuta. Off!

Professor Foot:
With a ring like that I could - dare I say it? - rule the world.

Paul:
You don't miss your tonsils, do yer?

George:
I'm always getting winked at these days. It used to be you didn't it Paul?

Superintendent:
Oh look! It's Raj, The famous Bengal man-eater who escaped from London Zoo this morning.

John:
Good Lord! So it famous is!

Superintendent:
Oh, don't worry, he's absolutely harmless. All you have to do is sing Beethoven's "Ode to Joy" from the famous ninth Symphony in D minor.

John:
Of course! Why didn't you think of that you twit!

Ringo:
Okay, who let it out.

John:
Nobody'll know!

Paul:
We're not going there!

John:
We just put it about we're going there!

Paul:
We're not going there!

John:
We just put it about we're going there!

George:
Just so everybody would think we're going there?

Ringo:
I'd like to go there.

John:
You wouldn't like it.

Ringo:
Where are we going anyway?

John:
Never you mind.

Paul:
Easterner with greasy feet speak with fork tongue.

John:
Does he? What's he say?

Paul:
Passing this way, hot foot, many moons to temple.

George:
Don't encourage him. You've got the part Paul!

John:
Dare we ask how you know?

Ringo:
How?

Paul:
How! I saw these footprints and this guide book which points out places of local worship.

John:
To the temple!

Superintendent:
Oh come on now lads, don't be windy, where's that famous pluck?

John:
I haven't got any, have you George?

George:
Did have.

Paul:
I have had.

Ringo:
I will have! Lead on!

George:
Hey, you're all red again.

Ringo:
I know, I'm beginning to like it!

Paul:
My skin's soaked right through to the skin!

Ringo:
I don't subscribe to your religion!

Jeweler:
It's not working. Nothing's working. We shall have to use, ... The Wheel.

Jeweler's Assistant:
The Wheel, Sir? Surely not the Wheel.

Jeweler:
- I don't know this metal.

Ringo:
- You're not getting anywhere, are you?

Jeweler's Assistant:
Early days yet, sir.

Jeweler:
Therefore it must be an alloy.

Ringo:
There's a certain amount of hurry up

involved here. My life is in danger.

Jeweler:
Three ten.

Jeweler:
- The wheel.

Ringo:
- Not the wheel.

Jeweler:
Even the Royal House of Hanover

had the wheel, sir.

(Whirring)

George:
Hey, there might be some insurance!

John:
I wouldn't think of such a thing! [under his breath] Find out, eh?

Ringo:
There's more here than meets the eye!

Sub-text reads' "Everyone laughs at Ringo's sudden apprehension."

George:
Ho ho!

John:
Ho.

George:
Ho ho.

John:
Ho.

[Continues on]

Ringo:
[Points at red blob on his shoe] We thought that was you.

Paul:
No, that's not me.

[John recites a poem from In His Own Write as Ringo's arm is trapped inside a mailbox]

John:
What are you doing?

Ringo:
Posting a letter.

Paul:
[To washerwoman] Do you know Clang?

Washerwoman:
I'm his mother, and he's a good boy!

[John is having a bowl of soup]

John:
What's this? [Pulling out a slip of paper]

Ringo:
It's a season ticket. What did you think?

John:
Oh, I like a lot of seasoning in my soup.

Ringo:
The fire brigade once got my head out of some railings.

John:
Did you want them to?

Ringo:
No. I used to put it there when I wasn't using it for school. You can see a lot of the world from railings.

Ringo Starr:
[At the man standing on his head] Is it nasty this ring?

Ringo Starr:
I like operations. They give you a sense of outlook, don't they?

Ringo Starr:
(regarding a broken ladder) All the rungs have been neatly sawed in the middle!

Ringo Starr:
[on the phone] Hello, this is the famous Ringo.

George Harrison:
Doesn't the Eastern flavour come rather expensive?

John Lennon:
Jeweller, you've failed!

John Lennon:
Scientist! You've failed Scientist!

John Lennon:
[Watching a man standing on his head] Doesn't the blood rush to your head, sir?

John Lennon:
Now see what you've done with your filthy Eastern ways!

Paul Mccartney:
Ew, I'm all sticky! You're all red.

Paul Mccartney:
[Watching a belly dancer] Doesn't the blood rush to your stomach?