Henry's Crime

Julie:
Aren't you guys worried about getting caught?

Max:
It's kind of a win-win situation for me.

Julie:
Why?

Max:
I like jail.

Julie:
I just don't want my legacy to be a Buffalato commercial.

Max:
This is my home.

Julie:
I'm so glad I ran you over.

Max:
What are you in for?

Henry Torne:
Bank robbery.

Max:
Nice. Clean, simple. I like it.

Henry Torne:
I didn't do it.

Max:
No, of course not.

Max:
So last time, um... I'm sitting there, and um... the Head of the Board comes and says, "OK, Max, what are you going to do for us this time if we let you out?" I get the old twitch working, and I go..."Well, um... I'm going to break into your house and then I'll kill your dog and set the house on fire. Then I'll dance through your garden naked like some mad, crazed werewolf.And I'll bite and I'll mangle and I'll tear the tongue out of everything that's breathing. Then I'll hurl myself into the sky, the ethereal sky, flaming, like God's darkest angel. And I'll explode into a goddamn heavenly fireball. Boom! You guys wanna see this? l can't wait. Boom". What? What?

Fellow Prisoner:
You scared the sh*t out of me, I tell you.

Henry Torne:
[Refers the prison] Hey, Max, maybe you should think about getting out of here.

Max:
Listen. The only thing I ever missed in 23 years is maybe a hot bath. To tell the truth, I don't think that's worth walking out of here for.

Henry Torne:
What are you doing afterwards?

Julie:
Why?

Henry Torne:
You like Chinese?

Julie:
Yeah.

Henry Torne:
Jinlan?

Julie:
Yeah, it's OK.

Henry Torne:
Eight o'clock?

Julie:
Sure.

Henry Torne:
Great.

Julie:
Great.

Henry Torne:
We have to do it opening night.

Julie:
What?

Henry Torne:
It's the only time we can get in.

Julie:
But that's in two days.

Henry Torne:
Yeah.

Julie:
So you're leaving?

Henry Torne:
Yeah.

Julie:
Wow... Oh, wow. F***... F***, Henry.

Henry Torne:
I was thinking we could meet.

Julie:
What?

Henry Torne:
I was thinking California.

Julie:
You were thinking we could meet in California?

Henry Torne:
Yeah.

Julie:
You know what? You really are a thief, Henry. I mean, California? Why would I go anywhere with you? You can't cross a f***ing street. You wreck my play, you make me an accessory to a crime. I should call the cops and you should go to hell.

Henry Torne:
I didn't know it would be this way.

Julie:
You're a bank robber. Henry. You're a bank robber. Th... I mean, you knew that you had to leave?

Henry Torne:
No.

Julie:
That's exactly what you wanted. So that we could be together. Don't touch me! Don't touch me! You know what? We screwed a couple of times. Right? So what?

Henry Torne:
It was more than that.

Julie:
No, really, just a couple of times. We both knew this would never work out, right?

Henry Torne:
I didn't.

Julie:
I did.

Julie:
Go rob your bank. Go!

Max:
Are you kidding me? This is your plan? An old cartoon in a pissoir?

Henry Torne:
It's a start.

Max:
No, this is 80 years ago. Wait. I tell you what we do. We do it the old-fashioned way.

Max:
We go in with guns.

Henry Torne:
No guns.

Max:
Why?

Henry Torne:
Someone could get hurt.

Max:
That's very sweet of you, Henry.

Julie:
What were you in prison for, Max?

Max:
I was a confidence man.

Julie:
You mean a con man?

Max:
I um... l don't like that word. Er, "confidence" is a little more elegant. "Confidence" comes from the Greek "fides", meaning faith and belief.

Julie:
Greek? I thought it was Latin.

Max:
Well, yes, it is... it is now.

Julie:
So, essentially, you make people feel good and then you rip 'em off?

Max:
Yes. But I was always a little better at the feeling good part than I was with the ripping off part, hence jail

Henry Torne:
[reading from the book] l just want your wonderful, tender eyes to look at me like they did then

Julie:
Say it without the book now.

Henry Torne:
l just want your wonderful, tender eyes to look at me like they did then.

Julie:
Oh, I'm so glad I ran you over.

Henry Torne:
Me too.

Max:
Where is your car?

Henry Torne:
I don't have a car.

Max:
You don't have a car?

Henry Torne:
I sold it.

Max:
Well, what is the matter with you?

Max:
You come to pick me up and you don't have a car. That is not the way you pick up a person!

Henry Torne:
Yes, it is. I'm here. I'm picking you up.

Max:
Look, I really don't know about this. I think I'm making a pretty big mistake.

Henry Torne:
Look, Max, the bus station's just a short walk.

Max:
Bus station?

Henry Torne:
Don't worry, Max.

Julie:
You know what, we screwed a couple of times, right? So what?

Henry Torne:
It was more than that.

Julie:
No, no, no, really. It was just a couple of times.

Julie:
We both knew this would never work out, right?

Henry Torne:
I didn't.

Joe:
Henry, I just wanted to say thank you.

Henry Torne:
For what?

Joe:
For not giving up my name.

Henry Torne:
I don't know your name.

Henry Torne:
Joe, stop the car.

Joe:
We can't stop the car, Henry. It's the getaway car.

Bernie:
Show us what love is all about... how it rips you apart and then puts you together. It carries you to the heavens and then smashes you to the ground!